Traditional “gay” roles

[BrianSanDiego (imported)]

Exactly, you choose the roles and sex acts you enjoy the most. Great attitude.

I've been having sex with men for about 45 years now ... roles really do change with time and circumstance and person you're with. At 19 my boyfriend Lee was 29 and he was definitely into me being his young bottom boi! He bragged about it whenever he could. He also had a beautiful penis so I didn't really mind . A few years later the man I lived with was fully vers. If he bottomed last night, he was topping tonight. The next guy I lived with had the most sensitive hole I've ever encountered. 5 minutes of rimming and he was squirming and flailing around the bed with a full body orgasm. You bet I topped him ALL THE TIME. But not just with my penis. In fact, I could get him off so much more with my tongue. A lot of our sex was oral and digital.

My current husband and I met 22 years ago. We met in an AOL chat room (remember those??) and it took an hour for him to download my photo! He flew me to NY to meet. We went to his place and he was so excited ... he kept telling me how much he wanted to finally top a man! (he was previously married with children) Well, he tried twice. When his penis got within an inch or two of my hole, he turned to wet spaghetti! I suggested we try it the other way and, well, he experienced nirvana and I've been topping him ever since. We are both masculine, both aggressive, both enjoy our bodies. Neither of us is submissive to the other. Our relationship is WAY open and has been for a long time. I NEVER top when I play. I love to bottom in every way possible, its lots of FFun! Now,I only top my partner and only because he wants it. If I never top again I'd be perfectly satisfied. That's going to be one of the great features about my future. Another way to bottom!!

The really good news Zach is that there are just SO MANY WAYS to have sex, and so many fetishes to explore. My penis is really the LEAST important tool in my sexual toolbox now. The only sexual role is the one you choose to express.

[nutlessstud (imported)]

I appreciate those perspectives.

“Making do with my body” is exactly what I didn’t do for such a long time. My bf knows how to use his tongue on and around my sensitive, tingly spot. The first time I saw us in the mirror, it looked so much like a man going down on a woman. It really bothered me at first because I looked so submissive, but it’s really an example of making do and then some since I respond so well when he does that to me. Even though I still have my balls, I’m losing interest in what topping might be like with a penis. Maybe my brain’s wiring wasn’t fully connected to a penis—real or imagined. Perhaps at this point it has been rewired to make do with what’s there?

Your brain adapted to what your body had in terms of how you are sexually gratified. I'm not sure I'm much of a believe in "roles" maybe it's just me though. But, as a dominant top before I was castrated I found I'm now a dominant top with fake balls. It's maybe because of this I don't put much stock in the idea of whatever is between the legs somehow indicates one's role or attitude about sex.

You really shouldn't feel submissive, because of the image you saw in the mirror making it look like your BF was going down on a girl. I'm quite sure a good many women will say it's exactly the opposite, they feel like they are the dominant one when a guy goes down on them orally, that THEY are the ones being "serviced" and the guy is doing the servicing, for their pleasure...really what is more dominant that that?

All-in-all, enjoy, be playful, and find sex to be something to enjoy and have fun with, not worry about what it says about you, or who you are.