Traditional “gay” roles

[DifferentZach (imported)]

I'm gay also and a bottom I use testosterone and Cialis to get hard but have not been able to top for a long time I was castrated this year. being very masculine it's expected that I could top and I find it hard to deal with this. mentally I can no longer top anymore when I try I can't keep erect even with meds

I am also looking for a long-term relationship but am finding it hard for myself to think anyone would be interested in me now. so I'm happy for you finding a way to make do with your body.

I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing this. I’ve heard from others that replacement T may alleviate some issues, but that in some cases, it just doesn’t work as well as your natural T—particularly relating to libido and/or erections. Do you think that’s probably the case, or is there a psychological component to it because of the conflict between being masculine, yet having no testicles? I say this fully aware that balls and penis don’t make the man, but society tends to measure us that way.

I’ve never topped naturally, but it’s something I spent a lot of time and emotional energy being resentful and angry over. I finally just got tired of that feeling and went against a lot of that negative thinking by being more open about my condition, and enjoying what my body *could* do. It didn’t happen overnight, but the change in thinking opened up new experiences with my own body and with others. Becoming a total bottom and being ok with it—again, society sometimes holds derogatory opinions of bottoms as “sluts” or “whores.” I guess that’s similar to the double standard women often fight. I’m out of my league on this, but that’s just what I’ve observed.

I’m not saying you’re negative or a “slut”—-I’m not the one to cast that stone lol. I’m just suggesting that you get to know and like this version of you. That’s something that’s always attractive to others regardless of “role”.

[ntalhoun (imported)]

Seems like you have gone a long way on the journey and I'm happy to see that you're in acceptance stage and loving your body (correct me if I'm wrong). Either you're a tough soul mentally or you had one hell of a therapist.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

As a top, I never think of bottoms as sluts or whores. All men have sex drives to satisfy. If we didn t have artificial and mostly female created ideas of whores and sluts, we would all be patting each other on the back after every sex act, like scoring points in sports.

Bottoms just prefer one side of the same sex act over the other side. It takes two to have sex. So the tops must be equally slutty and whores to top all those bottoms with way fewer tops to cover all those bottom men lol ! I guess the tops must be even more sex crazy to satisfy all those bottoms needs.

I think most men look at highly sexually active men with envy and admiration that they just don t say out loud to the most sexually active men. Yes, STD transmission scares men away from both men and women who are more likely to be infected by so many different sex partners or unsafe sex practices. But if they were no STDs, I think most men would jump at the chance to have endless sex and numerous partners like some did before AIDS and anti biotic resistant STDs came along and killed so many of the most sexually active men and women.

I m sure that has a lot to do with the negative reactions to men having lots of different sex partners today. That health risk of catching and then spreading sexual diseases to others. Certainly many famous people had their sex lives exposed because of AIDS. And that adds to the negative reactions to having lots of sexual partners which is a natural male sexual behavior in most animals, including men.

[thoughtful1998 (imported)]

I had my first experience with another boy at 15. In that circumstance i "received" and "gave" in two different times in the same afternoon while we were alone at home, but i felt more confortable for me to "receive". In time that feeling involved decisely my possible castration. The top i'm with now, is the one i made this little sacrifice for . Since i'm with him, i've been "receiving" only something of his love and desires into my body. I don't know how it could be considered traditional.

By the way, sorry for my english.

[Cseriess (imported)]

Traditional gay roles.

I was very disappointed to find this thread is not about baked goods!

[DifferentZach (imported)]

I had my first experience with another boy at 15. In that circumstance i "received" and "gave" in two different times in the same afternoon while we were alone at home, but i felt more confortable for me to "receive". In time that feeling involved decisely my possible castration. The top i'm with now, is the one i made this little sacrifice for . Since i'm with him, i've been "receiving" only something of his love and desires into my body. I don't know how it could be considered traditional.

By the way, sorry for my english.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your English is just fine btw.

I suppose “traditional “ roles are not exactly easy to define—or perhaps there is no such thing. I can identify with what you are saying since I’m in a similar relationship with by bf. I can’t imagine not receiving his “love and desires” into my body. I think that’s a nice, poetic way of stating it.

I hope you’ve recovered well since your surgery—and wish you well in the future.

Zach

[ntalhoun (imported)]

Hmm just like gender ain't binary, gay role ain't binary either. It's so complicated I'm still tryna figure out myself. I have always been confident and assertive and big spoon, aka typical top. But then I do have my vulnerable moments and thought about bottoming a couple times. But then the few time I tried it, I just hate the pain; yeh it's tight down dere. So I have kinda forgotten about it but it has become sort of a fantasy during my moments of weakness. Maybe I'll finally act on it if the day comes and I'm left with no other option.

[DifferentZach (imported)]

Hmm just like gender ain't binary, gay role ain't binary either. It's so complicated I'm still tryna figure out myself. I have always been confident and assertive and big spoon, aka typical top. But then I do have my vulnerable moments and thought about bottoming a couple times. But then the few time I tried it, I just hate the pain; yeh it's tight down dere. So I have kinda forgotten about it but it has become sort of a fantasy during my moments of weakness. Maybe I'll finally act on it if the day comes and I'm left with no other option.

The quick answer is to enjoy who you are in the moment. It’s fair to say that I grew up fascinated and fixated on topping. It’s still appealing to me, but I don’t fantasize about it like I used to. The first time i bottomed I was terrified, but it opened up new sensations for me. Now I have five more years of experience, and actually—really—topping really doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I may be curious, and have the occasional “small fantasy” of topping, but I think my erotic nerve pathways are rearranged so I get the pleasure I need as a bottom. This doesn’t mean I can’t try new things.

[Stefan (imported)]

I'm not in tradtionel roles and don't care about that. I'm bi, with a strong gay side. So I like to receive, but I can also give. But giving is for me more a hetro thing. When it's demanded I'll be the top of the interaction, but mostly I'm bottom.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

I'm not in tradtionel roles and don't care about that. I'm bi, with a strong gay side. So I like to receive, but I can also give. But giving is for me more a hetro thing. When it's demanded I'll be the top of the interaction, but mostly I'm bottom.

Exactly, you choose the roles and sex acts you enjoy the most. Great attitude.

Most bottom men do top when there are not enough tops to match up with every bottom or when you simply meet a man you want to enjoy sex with and he prefers to bottom.