Chemical Castration to Treat Pedophilia

[Double22 (imported)]

I appreciate the cross posting to a specialized community, Jesus. But I would rather not hear from people that argue for acceptance, especially when their model of my mental state requires that social stigma be the primary source of my resistance. An autistic person such as myself does not so easily submit to social norms. We are, however, extraordinarily bound by our sense of how things should be. I am interested in this "Sexnet" though. Once this medication kicks in and I can attempt non-stimulating tasks without this infernal energy below the surface, I was planning on building my own forum from scratch for collaborative research on the correlates of sexuality, and investigations into novel interventions to alter preferences. I might find such a group as the one this reply came from worthwhile.

[Double22 (imported)]

I realize that three of my posts now have been somewhat bitchy. I want to let everyone know that I do appreciate the support. I appreciate JessicaH for sharing my opinion of pedophilia, cutnbulls for attempting to make me feel better (even if it did make me feel worse) by making light of my situation, and Jesus for sharing this post with a community of sex researchers.

[notsomanly (imported)]

I realize that three of my posts now have been somewhat bitchy. I want to let everyone know that I do appreciate the support. I appreciate JessicaH for sharing my opinion of pedophilia, cutnbulls for attempting to make me feel better (even if it did make me feel worse) by making light of my situation, and Jesus for sharing this post with a community of sex researchers.

I remember feeling tortured by my sex drive, but lowering testosterone for me was a complete cure. The parts of me that I liked the most are still there, but the libido is gone. No more fantasies I couldn't seem to control or sleepless nights. I hope you'll find relief in suppressing testosterone. Then you'll hopefully have a mind more clear to think about next steps.

[Double22 (imported)]

Notsomanly, your stories of hetero-romantic asexuality have been a beacon of hope for me these past months. I hope I respond to these drugs as well as you have.

Errrr, the asexual part, not romantic part.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

I realize that three of my posts now have been somewhat bitchy. I want to let everyone know that I do appreciate the support. I appreciate JessicaH for sharing my opinion of pedophilia, cutnbulls for attempting to make me feel better (even if it did make me feel worse) by making light of my situation, and Jesus for sharing this post with a community of sex researchers.

Sorry if my posts made you feel worse.

I wasn t making light of your situation. My posts were simply short, blunt, and truthful. Not jokes at all.

Accept that you have desires that can t be fulfilled, like many other desires in all facets of people s daily lives. And don t beat up on yourself. Self loathing usually is not what any counselors will encourage in patients to make progress. You re not evil. You just have desires that you need to control and avoid acting out. You didn t choose what turns you on. But you can control what you choose to do and not do.

Posting here, of course, invites diverse ideas and reactions in responses to your post. None of us know what you want to hear, like, dislike, or what will or will not help you. Ignore what you don t like, and make use of what you do like.

If you feel you need to block out some posts to not see them, maybe public internet forums are not the right place for you to invite people to comment and respond to your personal matters. Or simply don t read the responses you don t like.

Other people will be reading these posts for years to come who may benefit from a variety of different views that may not appeal to you.

I ll stop posting on any of your threads from now on.

But remember all of the other people who might read this website some day, who may not share your views on which responses are beneficial to them.

Hope you solve your problems.

[Double22 (imported)]

My feelings weren't hurt by you trying to make light of my situation. When I wrote that, I was only referring to what I believed was your positive intent, which was to make me feel less ashamed of my feelings, hence "making light of".

But consider this hypothetical: let's say I'm a recovering alcoholic posting about his struggles with powerful urges on a Theraveda Buddhist forum filled with stories of diverse experiences with meditation from a community of people who advocate for the elimination of all sensual craving. A couple of people might criticize me for my past mistakes, one person may suggest moderation is acceptable. But I would never expect someone to tell me how alcohol has helped them on the spiritual path. Suggesting in neutral terms that there are people who can drink moderately is one thing, but actually describing a scenario in which intoxication is desirable is another thing. I know that wasn't your intent, but it is virtually impossible to not interpret your post that way.

When Jesus posted Thomas's response, I respectfully but firmly disagreed with it, and stated that I would rather not read similar opinions. However, I didn't bitch Thomas out about it because while there were parts of it I was uncomfortable with, the post didn't overtly sexualize children the way yours did, so I didn't get nearly as much of a dystonic pleasure flush.

The free exchange of ideas and experiences has to be tempered with intuition regarding what a person's disposition towards ideas will be, especially on what could easily be considered a self help forum. I think that most people would conclude that a person who writes that he is mortally sensitive to the sexualization of children would not respond positively to a post about a sexualized child.

[notsomanly (imported)]

Notsomanly, your stories of hetero-romantic asexuality have been a beacon of hope for me these past months. I hope I respond to these drugs as well as you have.

Errrr, the asexual part, not romantic part.

I'm delighted to hear my comments have been helpful. My sexual fantasies were never going to go away on their own or with any amount of therapy. This just kept getting stronger, more extreme and more disturbing. Masturbation provided only very temporary relief.

I've been a basically happy person with a great job and a wonderful spouse, but in the last year or so my degree of happiness has simply exploded. My wife and I are closer than ever and enjoy each other's company more than ever. I hope to soon be working with an endocrinologist to determine my course over the long haul, but I made the greatest self-discoveries with the aid of so many wonderful people on this site. Now, it's just a matter of fine-tuning my hormonal regimen. By involving sympathetic physicians in managing my "case" I hope I can do a small part in helping the medical community understand that "normal" testosterone can be be detrimental to some (many?) men.

[Double22 (imported)]

T +25

Hey, sorry for the late update; a hurricane went through my neck of the woods and knocked out power. I was also working nonstop and that made anything to be done at home too onerous. But I'm off for four days and I just finished 3 stacks of dirty dishes. Taking a break from housekeeping, I'll now update on my situation.

There isn't much to report actually. From what I can tell, I'm now entering the time range for when people's libidos start to drop off steeply. At T+22 I broke with my policy of preventative daily masturbation due to working late, and the next day (T+23) I felt sexual pressure in my groin. However, release required considerably more work, even by the standards of my previous difficulties; there was a lot of deep diaphragm down-pushing involved. However, I've felt only a very marginal decline in the sexual energy current beneath the surface. This is also with 3

mg of risperidone and 300mg of sertraline.

The nature of this sexual energy that I feel antagonized by is very unlike ordinary libido. For one, it's more concentrated in my skin, tongue, lips and arms than it is in my groin, and the ordinary sexual pressure in my groin that is caused by not masturbating does not trigger it. Seeing children does not immediately trigger it, but the last two occasions where I had to interact with a child caused me to experience it only when going to sleep later that night. It has less of a "Hey, you know what would feel really good?" feeling to it and more "Here, let's anticipate the sensations you would feel as if you were actually about to do those things" feeling. There is definitely something that is giving this energy more structure than what could be expected from simple sexual arousal in the face of stimulus, as if it's a composition of both sexuality and some other force in my psyche, and only when both of those factors are active does the sexual energy become problematic.

I have noticed that I haven't relied on Netflix to fall asleep for the past four nights. The night sweats haven't been as much of a problem, and I haven't noticed any difference in testicular volume or feel, though I haven't been precisely measuring it.

Thank you for reading, and for everybody's support!

Is shapeshifters an online pharmacy? I can't seem to get any info on it. I am see

king a supply of Androcur (cyproterone acetate).

Thanks

It is, but I can't recommend it in good conscience until after I get myself tested for testosterone to see if it's the real deal.

[Double22 (imported)]

T+ 39

Yikes, I lost track of time there. One thing worth noting is that I've only masturbated twice in the past week. For some reason I didn't think it necessary for my mental well being. In general I feel less antagonized by these feelings. Before I felt like any time could be the start of a sexual energy attack, but now I feel a comfortable buffer between myself and that energy. I no longer rely on Netflix to distract me as I fall asleep. My immediate reaction to children has not gone down unfortunately, but that's just grist for my mill; I will find a way to alter sexual preferences, no matter what people like Dr. James Cantor say.

Also, and this is completely unrelated but...

Has anyone experienced changes in gender identity since their castration? I haven't experienced any gender dysphoria but a year ago I did a trial of chemical castration, and about two months later I started thinking a lot about what life would be like as a girl.

[tobi24876 (imported)]

Well... for me I think it were not so much the hormone blockers I took, but more the fact that I started to reflect on myself, my sexuality, my urges and my gender that eventually lead to my conclusion that I was not male, but non-binary, which is something I've felt for a long time, but not accepted consciously.

So for me the medication was just the catalyst that set a whole conscious thought process in motion.