Like leaving solitary confinement

[chilliwilli (imported)]

OMG chem castrated 2nd round (and last). Spiritually, emotionally and mentally its like walking out of solitary confinement when the door was wide open! I'm not walking around disconnected and angry....and well things happened in life that really really really pissed me off, very bloody fucking scary. And this forced the castration issue(Im such a chicken...socially a chicken...)

So that's been the realization this week of being out and open a bit as a castrated male. I feel like I have been sitting in a cell with the door wide open. Wondering if this feeling is the same for any other midlife eunuchs.

[GordonGG (imported)]

OMG chem castrated 2nd round (and last). Spiritually, emotionally and mentally its like walking out of solitary confinement when the door was wide open! I'm not walking around disconnected and angry....and well things happened in life that really really really pissed me off, very bloody fucking scary. And this forced the castration issue(Im such a chicken...socially a chicken...)

So that's been the realization this week of being out and open a bit as a castrated male. I feel like I have been sitting in a cell with the door wide open. Wondering if this feeling is the same for any other midlife eunuchs.

I fully understand. I'm glad to be rid of the T and all that it entails also.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

I feel like I have been sitting in a cell with the door wide open. Wondering if this feeling is the same for any other midlife eunuchs.

What a great description of how I have felt at times post-45 years of age and not related to castration. Be interesting to know exactly what is precisely castration-related and what is related to life changes and castration being one but not the only one of those changes. Hope I explained those thoughts well.

[chilliwilli (imported)]

What a great description of how I have felt at times post-45 years of age and not related to castration. Be interesting to know exactly what is precisely castration-related and what is related to life changes and castration being one but not the only one of those changes. Hope I explained those thoughts well.

Oh you did. I dont know your personal history, but many many people have a midlife transition where they question who they are and what they value. Life carried them along up and to that point

So I never socially presented as gay or bisexual....I kinda knew my sexuality from early on and never explored for fear of familial rejection, retalition and the hope that someday I could be "normal". I wanted pussy and a girlfriend and hoped to be a normal.

In the army I had the most amazing sex of my life with a man. He was a friend that got close and nothing really had to be said. We knew our roles and it was amazing, mind blowing sex. My girlfriend had left the army so he and I got togetherq a few times. I drove across the country after I got out, just to be with that little stud.

But No man wants this.

Its just everyone is so kind and accepting, its me that can't accept it. And it has always been that way.

So what part is life and aging and what part is castration? Well crying, is castration as those issues have been dealt with years ago, abuse, rape strife etc., what's new is stepping out, attempting to accept my sexuality and be whole. And it is fun for the most part. Just writing this completely changed my mood. Went from frustrated and crying to rockin stairway to heaven and smiling again.

OMG I am not even gonna consider estrogen....way to emotional already.

chilli

[Arab Nights (imported)]

As it happens, there is a two page spread in today's Wall Street Journal of women who in middle age walked out their open jail cell door. The point was, as Riverwind showed, even regular folks who are not independently wealthy can do it.

[chilliwilli (imported)]

As it happens, there is a two page spread in today's Wall Street Journal of women who in middle age walked out their open jail cell door. The point was, as Riverwind showed, even regular folks who are not independently wealthy can do it.

Yes, I count my blessings. There are wasted lives all over. And sometimes I feel so very special to have survived, intact...

"I'm standing right on the edge, and all the people are like bitch get off there already".

chilli