As it took me a while to find this, I'm reposting it here due to a recent question on lactic acid for castration.
In a word: DON'T!
Finally a bottle of the ingredients arrived. I had purchased a 50 ml syringe. I loaded it up in our bathroom. My heart was racing. My penis was erect. I never saw it that big, that excited, before.
I locked the door and injected 50ml into each testicle. Pushing the needle in through the outer layer of the testicle and into the center. I did this on both sides.
The pin was tremendous and I thought I was going to throw up or pass out. The burning was awful; I was on fire. I soon left the office, went home and put ice on both testicles and took some over the counter pain medications. I lay down and felt the throbbing inside the testicles. I stayed at home that way for 2 days, until I could stand the pain.
When my new wife asked me what was going on, I lied to her telling her that all the infections from my vasectomies had kicked up and caused the pain and the swelling. As time went on the swelling went down, but holes began to form on the scrotum. I was leaking from my testicles - yellow fluid and chunks of black tissue. At that point I freaked and went to see my doctor.
I led to him too. I told him that I was in an alternative lifestyle. I told him that a pro-Domme tied me down, and then in a scene injected me. He was real cool about this, and agreed to treat me. He also had to give me some heavy-duty pain meds. Thank God.
End of part 1
[Editor's Note: The chemical that Scottie used was once approved for veterinary use on large meat animals - cattle, sheep, pigs. It is no longer on the market. I've worked on a farm. None of the men I've worked with seemed to care much about pain and suffering of the animals from castration, branding, etc. Losing an animal now and then to botched surgery or infection was just part of the price of farming. Depending on the size of the animal's testicles, between 1 and 2 ml of the chemical was required. NOT the 50 ml syringe that Scottie used. The chemical works by burning away the testicle from the inside out. The testicle gradually disolves into a corrosive liquid like that which then burned through Scottie's scrotum. All of the pain sensors work fully for the 2 weeks or so that the destruction goes on. Scottie is absolutely right about the pain that would be induced. If anything, he greatly understates it. ----J.A.]
I had several visits with my new doctor Friend. We became real intimate, real fast.
I had to visit with him once a week so he could see if the wounds where getting larger and what was happening to the tissue that was coming out. He cultured the pus and the black tissue. I had developed an infection in my testicles and scrotum; the black stuff was actually testicle tissue that was dying.
The doc was very concerned. It seemed that my penis was showing some signs of infection and damage too. The urethra was carrying that chemical into the shaft of the Penis.
I was cautioned by the Doc that I might have to have my Penis removed too. YIKES! I never ever bargained for that!!!
Being a member of the archive, I know that some of you are thinking Wow! complete Nullo!!!
Wow bullshit! I was just married and both of us liked sexual relations and this may all be ended. My wife never bargained for a Nullo too. She was talking all of it in her stride, however she was also afraid that I might die of blood poisoning. The chances where pretty good for that too for that to happen. Sounds like fun huh????
One of my issues with myself is the lack of patience and the compulsivity that I do in a moment of heat or passion. My mind blanks out and my "Dick Brain" clicks in!
In retrospect, I did the Androcur thing. I also used Premarin, heavy doses, to kill my libido. The issue wasn't that it didn't work; the issue was I didn't want to wait around until it did.
I now know what that impatience and my sexual heat almost killed me. I also now know that once we have the desire to be castrated, and to have no libido, no balls, no penis, I now know that, sometime, somewhere in your life, you will try and have them removed.
I read an article about the statistics. It said that if you have a castration fantasy that there is more than a 50% chance of you having yourself castrated. I agree with that.
So it was doctors visits at $125.00 each visit, medications, antibiotics, hot baths, and I had to wash out my urethra four or five times a day with a catheter and saline to dilute the chemical that was eating at my insides and at my urethra.
There was no guarantee that I would have my penis, urethra, or any genitalia left when this was all completed. I was DEPRESSED and my fear levels where very high.
Soon I was to go to see a Doc at a very large and famous hospital. He could not believe what had happened to me. He had never seen it before, NEVER! He continued the treatments and he did an MRI and an Ultra Sound. It was done by a Nurse and she wasn't the good-looking sexy nurses we read about here on the net. She was an average looking person and I didn't get turned on at all. Nada!
She rubbed the gel on my Penis and balls. Then she rubbed the wand, as the computer recorded the flow of blood, or lack thereof.
She rubbed my Penis with gel and it remained quite flaccid. (Scared me to death!) She took a picture of the shaft and the urethra into the testes and up to the prostate gland.
Here is what I heard 2 days latter. My testicles where dying fast. One was already dead. The other testicle was infected and had signs of gangrene in it. The urethra was damaged but could be repaired. My Penis tissue and muscles may never ever be able to form an erection again.
The best news, that I didn't really care about was, I was going to live. At that moment I didn't know if I even wanted to live.
It was back and forth to the Docs at the Hospital with the big name at $400.00 dollars a visit. More humiliation, on a daily basis, lots of pain, and the depression was winning.
It took about 4 months, time lines are kinda blurred now, when the Doc decided to operate and remove my testicles. It seemed after 2 other ultra sounds that the chemical had left my body and that the destruction was done, but no more should take place.
I scheduled the surgery for a Friday so I could be back at work on Monday. Little did I know what was about to happen.
Ya know you might think that Docs would listen to their patients once in a while. After all we live in our bodies not them. They may know the techniques, but they don't know you. I told the doc to just cut the scrotum and remove the testes. He said that it would be better to have the full lateral surgery. I didn't argue, as I was afraid enough and uncomfortable enough.
I was in a cubical when a good-looking blonde Nurse came to me and helped me to undress. She was very very kind and she asked me about my castration that was about to happen. She examined me and kinda smiled at me. She didn't say much at that point.
I was put on a gurney and rolled to the O.R. There were 15 student nurses there for observation. My doc was there, the person that puts you to sleep, and a whole team of others, mostly woman, other than for the Docs. I was embarrassed as hell until they started the anesthetic.
Seeing as I was out, here is what I found out when I awoke. The doc tried to go into the bi lateral incisions that ran from the right side of my lower belly to the left side. When he pulled the testicles up through the incision, he found out that the testicles had melted into the inner skin of the scrotum. He tried twice and failed twice.
He then put the testicles back, closed up the incision and then he entered from the bottom of each scrotum. Here is what he found there. The testes had fused themselves into the outer inner wall of the scrotum on each side. He had to scrape them off of each scrotum and then cut the rest of the testes off of the inside of the sac.
When I awoke the nurse that had gotten me undressed and prepped brought me a cold drink of ginger ale. She said how sorry she was for me and that, although the surgery went well, that the Doc didn't know if I could become erect again.
I was still under the anesthetic and I began to cry like a baby. I became hysterical, as I didn't want to loose my new wife. The nurse just held me and wiped my tears off my face. I finally calmed down and my wife came into the recovery room. I was given 3 or 4 prescriptions and after a while they said I could go home.
I do want to mention that at the end of the surgery my doc stuffed gauze into the sac so I would not develop any blood clots.
End of part 2
I was sent home with prescriptions, instructions, and gauze jammed into my scrotum to stop clots. I was told to lie down and not walk. I felt OK, but seeing as I was on medication I felt kind of "out of it"!
I had a large incision in my scrotum at the center where the testicles came together. It would have to be dressed and repacked every three days. I had to have a nurse come in and do that for me. They would come in, take the old packing out, then take a ruler and measure the wound to see if it was healing.
They then would pack the wound again with gauze.
After 3 weeks of this the wound wasn't healing. I was told that I'd have to go back into the hospital for IV antibiotics. I fought like hell to have the nurses come to me and said I would use a pump to infuse the antibiotics. I was given a pump, gauze, batteries, and 2 weeks worth of Zoson, a very powerful antibiotic.
Here is what happened. The Zoson had me going to the bathroom 5 or 6 times a day. When I ate, the Zoson turned my food into liquid and back to the bathroom.
When the pump turned on and started to infuse, I got sick to my stomach, very tired and had to lie down. This happened 4 or 5 times a day.
The nurses would come in and clean the heparin lock. I changed the bag of Zoson everyday. It was NOT FUN!
This went on for 5 months. Finally the infection died off and the healing began.
It was about three weeks into the healing when I developed a high fever, and my scrotum got swollen. I went back to the Doc and he was surprised to say the least. He had to open the stitches and see what was going on.
Here is what he found. Somehow gauze had been left inside of me and my body was trying to expel it. He met me at the hospital and I had to have it removed surgically. This happened 3 times. This also took another 3 months of my life. One of the times he tried to take it out in his office and all I can remember was the pulling and the pain and him not being sure what was tissue and what was gauze. What a mess.
Along the way my bladder was so weak that I had to wear diapers for my penis was leaking urine.
I don't remember how many times I went back and forth to the doc's office, back and forth to the hospital. It was dozens, I'm sure.
The infectious disease doc was a woman and had to touch my penis many times. She was a very young 30 year old. Again this was embarrassing and painful. At one point she saw some gauze and tried to pull it out, but it kept on coming and coming so she cut it off and admitted me back into the hospital. This went on and on and on.
I know that this was the Doc's fault, but if I had gone to the Doc first without melting my nuts to the wall of the sac, maybe all of this wouldn't have happened.
It took 2 more months for every thing to clear up and for me to even want to go back to work. In the process I had become physically addicted to Vicodan and when the withdrawals came I was put back into the hospital for detox.
That was another week. All of this took almost 2 years for me to be healed. I was fortunate that my penis healed and the urethra was repaired and every thing works. My erections are at best very weak. I take Viagra when my wife wants me. The consequences were too great.
There was no Eunuch Calm, just Eunuch hassle!
End of part 3
I may have said this before, but if I had the choice to do it over again. I would be castrated. However, not the way I did it.
There are too many consequences that are far reaching for me today. I do enjoy my sexuality more than ever, for I can control it. It no longer can control me. I sometimes take a total vacation from the male hormones and just chill out. My wife sometimes takes them away, when I get too hyper and I don't see it in myself. I love the way my scrotum looks without the nads in them. It is also fun to discuss with women my experiences, for I have changed into a more sensitive caring loving person. I now have compassion.
You may ask, 'how did that happen'. Well, for many of the months I was recovering, I had no testicles and no hormones. I went through menopause. I went through several periods where the anger and the hot chills and sweats where awful.
I didn't understand any of this at the time. My anger was just anger for anger's sake. I was simply angry. I cried all the time. My emotions were very active and trying to balance them out was next to impossible.
There were and are some ramifications of doing it "my" way. There is an article on Eunuch Lifestyles entitled Warning Warning Danger Danger. In that story it talks about how I live today and the consequences that I have gone through and the ones that I am still going through. Just the other day the humidity was so high that my scar tissue in my scrotum felt like I was kicked in my nads. This goes on from time to time. My sphincter muscle is very weak and I have to wear a diaper to bed. Sometimes in the day also. My muscle was damaged by the chemical as well. My bladder is also very weak, for they had to cut out the part of it that had the damage. In other words, I pee a lot. The pain in the whole damn area flares at times and just walking hurts. The scars on my lower belly get red from time to time and are very tender most of the time. I do get erections, but I have to use Viagra or Cialis to have intercourse. I can cum, but sometimes afterwards I have pain where my testicles used to be. I also get pain in the urethra, from its damage.
When I see someone out there trying to get these chemicals, I pray that they have read my story. Please read the other story I wrote Warning Warning Danger Danger. It talks largely about the consequences.
Just about 5 months ago I tried to get more life insurance. On my medical records was the name of the chemical that I used to destroy my testicles. Because of that I cannot get ANY MORE INSURANCE of any kind. Well that's my story. Please think before you act. There are Docs out there who will help us; we just need to do the legwork of finding them. If anyone has questions or comments you may write to me at the Eunuch Archive.
----Scottie