My second chem castration trial

[erikboy (imported)]

T +126, T +0

Yesturday I took my last Androcur and Tamoxifen. Here stops my chem castration trial and starts recovery period. I am so curious to see if my T will restore to previous levels, probably not. How much time it takes after 4 months on Androcur. Etc.

But as I have been on reduced dosage of androcur, I have noticed some changes. Less tiredness, more energy. But libido is still very low. Current Tbm is 9 days. Tbm - Time between masturbations.

[Cseriess (imported)]

Each time I have stopped, my sperm returns thick and creamy yellow coloured.

[JessicaH (imported)]

You may want to continue the tamoxifen for a few months if you want to avoid breast buds.

[erikboy (imported)]

T +1

JessicaH, good advice!

Probably soon all the Androcur is gone from my T receptors but at the same time, my testicles won't produce T for some time. So I have at least some time to feel what difference it makes to have no Androcur in me.

What I can tell, is that at high Androcur levels I felt more exhausted than now. I feel mild improvement with energy levels. But at the same time there is no change in my low libido yet.

[experiment (imported)]

Each time I have stopped, my sperm returns thick and creamy yellow coloured.

How long were you on Androcur? My understanding is that the longer you are on it the greater the probability everything will not return to "normal" I read that some people are affected after as little as 6 months. If the testicles do shrink a noticeable amount chances are they will not produce the pre chemical periods testosterone levels.

[Cseriess (imported)]

I have done it 3 times. each time the androcur has kicked in quicker and with a lower dose. Each time it has taken longer for the effects to wear off after stopping. The last time I did it for about 3 months. I don't think my testicles have physically shrunk. I don't have large low hanging testicles, but my penis is a little above average ( no! Honestly it is!). Anyway as erections stopped the size of my flaccid penis became noticeably smaller. After a month I don't think I ever saw it above 2" and usually not much more than 1". I could only get semi erect and 4" was about all I could manage, and that took a lot of time and effort and felt like a pointless experiment. I just didn't want to get an erection. It probably took 6 weeks after stopping to be able to get an hard erection again. I think it was probably 6 months before I thought my penis was back to pre androcur life and size.

[erikboy (imported)]

T +5

I still have hot flashes and feel quite the same.

One interesting thing I could describe more clearly about libido. As I just had an eunuch orgasm after a week of abstaining.

Before trial that buzz of libido that forced me to have another orgasm grew quite fast. I have tried abstination, but that buzz in me quickly became overwhelming, filling my mind and not allowing any other thoughts into my mind. It was relatively easy to abstinate for 2-3 days. But at the mark of one week this constant sexual buzz filled my mind so tight it was just a pure fight with masturbation desire. I wasn't able to do any thinking work, like programming or writing. Only hard physical work.

But now, being an eunuch, after abstaining for a week I can feel only barely recognizable buzz. And I masturbate mostly out of curiosity than need. As my T levels are very low, this mild buzz can be attributed to wires in my brains. These wires in my brain seem to be activated by T and abstination.

[BiBikerFL (imported)]

Howdy Notsomanly. I am very curious what your wife thinks and feels about your feminization. OR any other reader out there. Is she worried you will want to fully transition? I'm not unlike yourself. I like my boobs and some feminization and would love to wear panties, but I worry my wife will reject me if I go too far and she no longer has a man as a spouse, rather something she didn't sign up for. I'm all for living as a Eunuch striving for Eunuch calm and enjoy dipping my feet into the feminization pond, but there is a double edged sword. I look forward to hearing what others have to say about this and would love to hear from women on the subject.

I had some side effects on Androcur, mainly shortness of breath and brain fogginess. Killing my testicles and going on estradiol seem to be having no unwanted side effects at all. I'm energetic, my mind is sharp, eunuch calm, libido way down and I'm happier than ever. Adjusting to my feminizing body has been a revelation. I noticed that my panties fit amazingly well but eventually realized that they were a pair of my wife's. I hadn't noticed that my fat distribution had started to change.

[Begoneboy (imported)]

Howdy Notsomanly. I am very curious what your wife thinks and feels about your feminization. OR any other reader out there. Is she worried you will want to fully transition? I'm not unlike yourself. I like my boobs and some feminization and would love to wear panties, but I worry my wife will reject me if I go too far and she no longer has a man as a spouse, rather something she didn't sign up for. I'm all for living as a Eunuch striving for Eunuch calm and enjoy dipping my feet into the feminization pond, but there is a double edged sword. I look forward to hearing what others have to say about this and would love to hear from women on the subject.

Hey BiBikerFL, now you've hit on one of the least touched topics. Dipping your feet in the feminization pond along with its double edged sword. Indeed it has that double edged sword. When I began taking "E" there was no intent (or even awareness for that matter) of the feminization that would follow. Of course I now know better. And the feelings of completeness along with the return of energy and stamina became rather addictive. And much as with any addiction I found myself using more and more "E" to the point of abuse. It was actually a good bit of time on the "E" before others began to notice. Not that I saw many others very often as I was sailing long distances back then. Albeit I had no spouse to consider it should be a great concern to any who tumble down that rabbit hole since as you said, "something she didn't sign up for". In my case I basically live alone and for the most part for me and by me. Most folks have others in their lives to consider and should do so with great care. I really enjoyed your comment.

[GordonGG (imported)]

Howdy Notsomanly. I am very curious what your wife thinks and feels about your feminization. OR any other reader out there. Is she worried you will want to fully transition? I'm not unlike yourself. I like my boobs and some feminization and would love to wear panties, but I worry my wife will reject me if I go too far a

nd she no longer has a man as a

spouse, rather something she didn't sign up for. I'm all for living as a Eunuch striving for Eunuch calm and enjoy dipping my feet into the feminization pond, but there is a double edged sword. I look forward to hearing what others have to say about this and would love to hear from women on the subject.

I am one that wanted to get rid of the T so that my libido would be reduced. I started out of Spironolactone to do that. I went on E a few months later. I liked not having the libido and didn't mind getting some feminization as I've never been a "he man" anyway. I had an orchiectomy in Feb. My wife was on board with the libido going down and we discussed the orchi for a long while. She eventually agreed and it's been good so far. Yes I'm growing some boobs and I don't mind. She doesn't like it, but knew that it's part of the deal.