My second chem castration trial

[JockItch (imported)]

Thank you for detailing your progress. Very interesting and helpful for guys like me who might go off Testo someday. Please keep posting.

[erikboy (imported)]

T +76

It is interesting that my testicles atrophied very quickly from 37ml to 25ml. In few weeks only. But then atrophy stopped. And they are still the same after 2 months. It is probably cell size reduction, not cell count reduction in testicles. The same reason why boys testicles grow fast during puberty, only in reverse.

Today I took last dose of raloxifene. It had helped to maintain my bone density. and mainly avoided breast growth. I have none to report, despite at the beginning of treatment I felt something going on in my breasts. I was 2 weeks purely on androcur, and raloxifene came later. We'll see if there will be changes in libido after discontinuing raloxifene. Raloxifene is different from Tamoxifene in the way that it acts as antiestrogen in breast tissue and it acts as an estrogene in bone tissue. Not much is known about libido and muscle tissue. But I haven't had much muscle pains and also joint pains that were present during first weeks have disappeared. We'll see if they return. Perhaps I need some more raloxifene to stay more healthy.

I've been relatively horny last 2 days. Which is kind of weird for an eunuch. Yesturday I had even an spontaneous erection during a day time. We'll it wasn't erection in classical understanding, but my penis increased in size, I had that erection feeling in it, but it did not got very hard.

yesturday I masturbated after a week. Interestingly my semen has turned completely clear. Crystal clear. Before it was cloudy and greyish. Also amont of semen was very small. Like few drops, and there was no force in ejaculation. It just emerged. Typical castrated male ejaculate I would say.

[JockItch (imported)]

Have you noticed any change in your body odor? Your arm pits and feet in particular?

[erikboy (imported)]

Yes, of course. Change happened right on the second week. My sweat is watery and smells less and different.

[erikboy (imported)]

Yes, of course. Change happened right on the second week. My sweat is watery and smells less and different.

Just wanted to add, that my skin became dry and my mild acne disappeared completely along with other skin problems that seemed to be unrelated. Like psoriasis like condition and tumor like spot on the skin that doc said is a small tumor. Probably it wasn't then.

[erikboy (imported)]

T +79

I have noticed that my bodyhair has become thinner. For example on my legs my pants rub hair off at some places which never happened before. My legs have become partly hairless. Also the remaining hair is less visible and it seems it has turned lighter in color.

One more thing I started to notice is that there is less joy in my life with low T. It is difficult to explain. For example one thing I have noticed is that I take much less pictures. I usually document my surroundings and events. I take pictures when I find some situation to be exciting enough to remember it. Now I notice that I omit these moments, and do not take pictures. Only at the end of the day, when I think back I feel like I should have taken pictures of some more moments. But at the time I did not notice them.

Also I do not get so excited about unusual stuff, or stuff that normally excites me or gives some joy. Like some technical stuff I really like. I have become more indifferent.

Moments of joy normally are at the time when I have had enough rest and consumed my coffee. Then I feel quite normal and I am able to perform faster, think more, and enjoy the moments. Sometimes I feel so tired that I am almost switched off.

Has anyone experienced such stuff?

[DonnyMac (imported)]

I went through the same side effects. In a way it felt like my brain was rewired. Some interests I had before I now became less interested. The good news is I developed new interests to replace them. Fatigue was a big issue the first year. I became a fan of rest, coffee, and energy drinks. Gradually the fatigue vanished. It was also hard to accept not being the alpha male of past. Emotional issues were hard at first, but like the fatigue, it tapered off with time.

It boils down to your body and mind is going through a profound change. Like puberty in backwards and in week or months rather than in years. Give your body and mind time to adjust. For me my wife was a huge asset. Her support kept me going through some difficult changes.

Luckily the human body is very resilient. Give it time -- you will adjust.

Don

[erikboy (imported)]

I went through the same side effects. In a way it felt like my brain was rewired. Some interests I had before I now became less interested. The good news is I developed new interests to replace them. Fatigue was a big issue the first year. I became a fan of rest, coffee, and energy drinks. Gradually the fatigue vanished. It was also hard to accept not being the alpha male of past. Emotional issues were hard at first, but like the fatigue, it tapered off with time.

It boils down to your body and mind is going through a profound change. Like puberty in backwards and in week or months rather than in years. Give your body and mind time to adjust. For me my wife was a huge asset. Her support kept me going through some difficult changes.

Luckily the human body is very resilient. Give it time -- you will adjust.

Don

Yes, I've hesitated to take a step forward. I've felt like if I go forward, I step into big unknown, that could lead me to a irreversible catastrophe. But now that I have accepted all the negative sides of castration that I have read about here and there, the knowledge has made me emotionally stable. As almost nothing came with bad surprise. And it is always much better to have a supportive person beside you. That gives you emotional stability and knowledge that you are on a right path. During the sharp T drop I had short periods when I questioned myself wether it is wise to continue. I felt confused as I did not know exactly what am I. And I had some bad side effects like brain fog and being out of breath at the same time.

Right now I feel that being castrated has been a very powerful fetish for me. And I have tried to justify my castration desire by male to eunuch gender dysphoria. I am not so sure about gender dysphoria now, despite it was incredibly difficult to make happy face and try to act as a male with normal libido. At some moments I feel like very ok without libido that I have always felt it was forced on me. Like after morning coffee. But when I feel tired and unable to function and disinterested about anything, lost all they joys of life, I feel like I need my T back. Fortunately my sleep is better and I can take naps. Also, when I lie on my bed and take my phone and chat with other people I start to feel better. I try to avoid useless time waste like watching news, playing games etc. false joy sources.

Recently, before this chemcastration trial I have thought a lot about becoming a surgical eunuch. But now, having 17ng/dl T-levels, surgical castration leaves me indifferent. Thats funny. I think the fetish part of castration has been the actual transition period from male to eunuch, which actually isn't pure fun to my experience. As a person I haven't lost anything with castration. I am still the same me as I've always been. Only perhaps slower, little more joyless. And I feel indifferent about surgical castration. May be it will change as normal T levels start to return. And then taking a surgical route makes me indifferent again if I had balls or not.

Then another question rises, should I have become an eunuch earlier? Much earlier. Despite I feel quite indifferent about that right now, the general answer would be yes. But with the knowledge and experience I have now. Which means that I should have had a mentor or a very close and trusted person beside me, with the same knowledge I have now.

[notsomanly (imported)]

Yes, I've hesitated to take a step forward. I've felt like if I go forward, I step into big unknown, that could lead me to a irreversible catastrophe. But now that I have accepted all the negative sides of castration that I have read about here and there, the knowledge has made me emotionally stable. As almost nothing came with bad surprise. And it is always much better to have a supportive person beside you. That gives you emotional stability and knowledge that you are on a right path. During the sharp T drop I had short periods when I questioned myself wether it is wise to continue. I felt confused as I did not know exactly what am I. And I had some bad side effects like brain fog and being out of breath at the same time.

Right now I feel that being castrated has been a very powerful fetish for me. And I have tried to justify my castration desire by male to eunuch gender dysphoria. I am not so sure about gender dysphoria now, despite it was incredibly difficult to make happy face and try to act as a male with normal libido. At some moments I feel like very ok without libido that I have always felt it was forced on me. Like after morning coffee. But when I feel tired and unable to function and disinterested about anything, lost all they joys of life, I feel like I need my T back. Fortunately my sleep is better and I can take naps. Also, when I lie on my bed and take my phone and chat with other people I start to feel better. I try to avoid useless time waste like watching news, playing games etc. false joy sources.

Recently, before this chemcastration trial I have thought a lot about becoming a surgical eunuch. But now, having 17ng/dl T-levels, surgical castration leaves me indifferent. Thats funny. I think the fetish part of castration has been the actual transition period from male to eunuch, which actually isn't pure fun to my experience. As a person I haven't lost anything with castration. I am still the same me as I've always been. Only perhaps slower, little more joyless. And I feel indifferent about surgical castration. May be it will change as normal T levels start to return. And then taking a surgical route makes me indifferent again if I had balls or not.

Then another question rises, should I have become an eunuch earlier? Much earlier. Despite I feel quite indifferent about that right now, the general answer would be yes. But with the knowledge and experience I have now. Which means that I should have had a mentor or a very close and trusted person beside me, with the same knowledge I have now.

For me, estradiol and progesterone have been the perfect replacement for testosterone. No sex drive, but plenty of energy and joy in life. In other words - perfect!

[JessicaH (imported)]

17ng/dl is much lower than normal castrate levels (50ng/dl) so you may actually do better with surgical castration. Cyproterone (a synthetic progestin) also has side effects that go beyond physical castration so it can be difficult to tell if your negative symptoms are from the medication or just low-T. It's kinda scary when your libido drops and suddenly you are aware of how busy your mind was with sex drive. It can make everything seem pointless if you can't redirect yourself. Exercise and eating good are also very important with the change of hormones.