My second chem castration trial

[erikboy (imported)]

T +9

I have spread my doses as evenly as possible. But delaying one dose does not affect accumulated androcur levels in my body too much, as Androcur serum level halftime is 40h.

I guess in coming week many significant changes become noticeable. Thats exciting.

My erectile function is already reduced significantly. I haven't got any spontaneous erection during a day since I started Androcur and my morning woods are almost gone. Last one was 2 mornings ago. And it was more a phantom erection than real one. Desire to watch porn is reduced and watching it gives me phantom erections. I feel like it is about to getting hard, but in reality it looks only slightly engorged and there is no hardness at all. With manual stimulation I can get it almost hard. But it never gets rock hard as before. I think it is barely enough for penetrative sex.

Reaching orgasm requires more work now. It took about 10 minutes yesturday instead of 1 minute. But it was still pleasurable and felt satisfiable for a long time after. But I feel like I couldn't do it more than once a day. So cool! I am waiting fo my capability to be reduced to once a week.

I think about sex still quite a lot. Especially about getting castrated. I know from my last chem castration experience, that sex thought generator will shut down soon. It's impulses frequency and strenght are already reduced. At some point I will feel all porn being disqusting.

This time I feel much more happy than during the first trial. Also more energetic and motivated. I don't feel any lethargy yet. Still I feel something is changing in me. It might be so because of my preparation, chosen time for starting Androcur and D, B12 and other microelements preemptive intake. My D and B12 vitamin levels used to be much lower than normal.

I started to feel joint pain, but that's no big deal. And it seems I get muscle pain easier than before after some physical activity.

Sleep is a challenge, but somehow I manage to sleep enough during the day, if night was bad. And that is also important.

I feel metallic taste in mo mouth. Tomorrow I will reduce Androcur intake from 200mg to 150mg.

Still I fell generally happy, may be I get tired more easy now, I need naps during a day, but somehow I feel myself more naturally with less sex drive.

No significant change in testicular size yet.

If that trial will end positively it is highly possible that next year I will become a surgical eunuch.

[notsomanly (imported)]

T +9

I have spread my doses as evenly as possible. But delaying one dose does not affect accumulated androcur levels in my body too much, as Androcur serum level halftime is 40h.

I guess in coming week many significant changes become noticeable. Thats exciting.

My erectile function is already reduced significantly. I haven't got any spontaneous erection during a day since I started Androcur and my morning woods are almost gone. Last one was 2 mornings ago. And it was more a phantom erection than real one. Desire to watch porn is reduced and watching it gives me phantom erections. I feel like it is about to getting hard, but in reality it looks only slightly engorged and there is no hardness at all. With manual stimulation I can get it almost hard. But it never gets rock hard as before. I think it is barely enough for penetrative sex.

Reaching orgasm requires more work now. It took about 10 minutes yesturday instead of 1 minute. But it was still pleasurable and felt satisfiable for a long time after. But I feel like I couldn't do it more than once a day. So cool! I am waiting fo my capability to be reduced to once a week.

I think about sex still quite a lot. Especially about getting castrated. I know from my last chem castration experience, that sex thought generator will shut down soon. It's impulses frequency and strenght are already reduced. At some point I will feel all porn being disqusting.

This time I feel much more happy than during the first trial. Also more energetic and motivated. I don't feel any lethargy yet. Still I feel something is changing in me. It might be so because of my preparation, chosen time for starting Androcur and D, B12 and other microelements preemptive intake. My D and B12 vitamin levels used to be much lower than normal.

I started to feel joint pain, but that's no big deal. And it seems I get muscle pain easier than before after some physical activity.

Sleep is a challenge, but somehow I manage to sleep enough during the day, if night was bad. And that is also important.

I feel metallic taste in mo mouth. Tomorrow I will reduce Androcur intake from 200mg to 150mg.

Still I fell generally happy, may be I get tired more easy now, I need naps during a day, but somehow I feel myself more naturally with less sex drive.

No significant change in testicular size yet.

If that trial will end positively it is highly possible that next year I will become a surgical eunuch.

I was in much the same place a year ago, but Androcur had taken away my libido and sexual fantasies completely. I had to take a break due to what now seems like a bad lung infection that has since resolved. But going only a month without Androcur and feeling my libido and fantasies start to return, I couldn't wait until I was back on Androcur. I was so much happier without T. Now, after two series of CaCl2 injections, my testicles have shut down for good. But I started noticing that my brain was becoming much less sharp and I felt foggy, so I tried taking Estradiol. That was a huge revelation. Not only do I feel much better but I'm really enjoying the emergence of my feminine side. I'm beginning to wonder if testosterone was suppressing my true person-hood as a woman. I never agonized by feeling that I was a female trapped in a male body and I don't presently desire MtoF transition, but my body is definitely becoming feminized and I love it.

I took it one step at a time as you are doing, but I had no idea of what lay ahead and how much I'd enjoy the process. Good luck on your own journey.

[erikboy (imported)]

T +10

I have to say that this time negative side effects are less pronounced than during the first trial. Despite I have problems with sleep, I can have enough rest during the day one or another way. Getting enough sleep reduces tiredness and makes me happier. Though I have to admit that I get tired faster than usual. I can attribute it to Good levels of hemoglobine, vitamins B12 and especially D. Also much more physical activity. That is a garant of better sleep too. My sleep has improved. So much that I was daydreaming in the morning, before I woke up. And when I woke up, I did not have any hardness. Just a phantom erection with slightly enlarged but soft penis.

Today I experienced briefly a brainfog I think. I was listening to a radio and I despite I tried concentrate as much as I could, I did not understand what was said. We'll see, if that becomes a problem, or is just a temporary side effect.

Today my dosage is 150mg. And probably I will reduce it to 100mg day very soon. I have read that Androcur can cause testosterone precursors overconcentration by blocking their conversion to testosterone. And thats why sexdrive is not near zero for many Androcur users. Just diminished while getting erection is severely reduced. I think I feel that effect. First effects I noticed during the first 5 days, but since then progress has been very slow despite high dosage I take. I will probably cut to 50mg for a week or so, to see if it makes any difference.

I still can make it hard. in few minutes. It is funny that it doesn't get as hard as before despite I feel like it should be very hard. When I touch it, it is semihard. Like a sponge.

[notsomanly (imported)]

T +10

I have to say that this time negative side effects are less pronounced than during the first trial. Despite I have problems with sleep, I can have enough rest during the day one or another way. Getting enough sleep reduces tiredness and makes me happier. Though I have to admit that I get tired faster than usual. I can attribute it to Good levels of hemoglobine, vitamins B12 and especially D. Also much more physical activity. That is a garant of better sleep too. My sleep has improved. So much that I was daydreaming in the morning, before I woke up. And when I woke up, I did not have any hardness. Just a phantom erection with slightly enlarged but soft penis.

Today I experienced briefly a brainfog I think. I was listening to a radio and I despite I tried concentrate as much as I could, I did not understand what was said. We'll see, if that becomes a problem, or is just a temporary side effect.

Today my dosage is 150mg. And probably I will reduce it to 100mg day very soon. I have read that Androcur can cause testosterone precursors overconcentration by blocking their conversion to testosterone. And thats why sexdrive is not near zero for many Androcur users. Just diminished while getting erection is severely reduced. I think I feel that effect. First effects I noticed during the first 5 days, but since then progress has been very slow despite high dosage I take. I will probably cut to 50mg for a week or so, to see if it makes any difference.

I still can make it hard. in few minutes. It is funny that it doesn't get as hard as before despite I feel like it should be very hard. When I touch it, it is semihard. Like a sponge.

Sleep hasn't been a problem for me as it often is for low T. Estradiol seems to have improved sleep and Progesterone is known to induce sleepiness so it is recommended to be taken before bedtime. I can get mostly hard if I try, but I just don't have any interest in erections or male sexuality. It's interesting that I do have another form of sexuality, possibly a feminine version. It may be that I'm just getting used to growing breasts, but I can orgasm from nipple stimulation without touching my penis. I'm loving everything about my feminizing body and mind. It all followed naturally from suppressing T.

[erikboy (imported)]

T +12

yesturday morning I had a morning erection. It wasn't as hard as usual. But I was kind of disappointed to have little progress despite high dosage I was on. Today morning I had morning wood too. But it was halfhard. I decided to reduce my dosage to 100mg. Contraintuinevily. Yesturday I was already on 100mg. And I think I will stay on 100mg for a week, to see how it works. Then I can go back to 150mg.

Sleep is better, not ideal, but better. I feel energetic and happy but I get tired faster. Then I need some rest.

[erikboy (imported)]

T+14

So it is almost 14 days or 2 weeks since I started to take Androcur.

first thing I must to say is that, this time my experience is much more different from my first trial 7 years ago. It seems like Androcur works slower despite high dosage and despite I am older and probably my T levels are lower than 7 years ago.

I am still having morning woods. Though most of them are phantom morningwoods, or just increased in size but soft penis. Like today. I felt it getting hard but when I checked, it was limp, only bigger from from usual limp size. 2/3 of fully erected size.

I haven't experienced proper eunuch calm yet, like I did last time. I do feel weaker, but only little. Nothing like 7y ago. I have almost no motivational problems. 7y ago it felt much different. I felt too zen suddenly and had difficulties to get stuff done. I don't feel slowness like I did 7y ago.

I was worried, my Androcur is fake. What I did differently this time, is that I started from low dose 50mg/day and in 3 days went to 200mg/day. And stayed on that dosage for a week. I noticed specific Androcur high dosage side effects. Like lightheadedness and metallic taste in my mouth. Now I am on 100mg/day, and metallc taste is gone. I started to notice first effects quite fast this time, but then changes did not come as fast as last time, 7y ago. 7y ago I quickly pumped up my Androcur levels in my body, and reduced dosage, to maintain these levels and slowly reducing my Androcur intake. After 2 weeks I was chemically castrated. Now, after 2 weeks I don't feel like I am chemically castrated to the same levels like I was 7y ago. Perhaps I felt more castrated 7y ago because loss of initial T levels were higher and I did not develop Androcur specific side effects. As androcur tself acts as a mild progesterone. There is no reason to think that I have become Androcur resistant, so I reduced my Androcur intake from 200mg to 100mg, to get diminish Androcur side effects. It seems it works.

This time sleep seems to be much better than first time. I can attribute it to my better health. As 7y ago I did not start with Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, D and B12 month before chemical castration start, like I did this year. It could be highly possible, that I had Anemia, B12 and D vitamin deficiency. As it was discovered later, after I stopped Androcur 7y ago.

This time I am so excited about the fact that I am castrated, that I feel phantom erections quite frequently, and I think about it quite a lot during a day.

I still can get it up quite fast. Like in 3-5 minutes. But it remains semihard. It looks like it has a full size, but it is hardly good for any penetration. Funny, isn't it

Achieving of orgasm takes much more time. These times are gone when I was able to get hard and ejaculate in one minute. Also volume of semen is reduced noticeably. I noticed significant reduction yesturday. Like only half of original volume. Also there is no force in ejaculation. Reduction of ejaculation force I noticed already approx on 7th day. But now it barely dribbles out. It is funny how it feels itchy inside my penis, that would have made me hard for sure before Androcur. Hopefully this itchy feeling will be reduced soon too. And I hopefully I keep forgetting to masturbate few days in a row.

Here is a table of my progress on the path of becoming an eunuch so far.

Day Dose Org. Erec.

30 0 2 1

1 0 1 1

2 0 1 2

3 0 3 1

4 0 0 1

5 0 1 1

6 0 1 1

7 0 1 1

8 0 0 1

9 0 1 2

10 0 1 1

11 0 2 1

12 0 0 1

13 0 1 1

14 0 1 1

15 50 2 2

16 150 2 0

17 200 2 1

18 200 0 0

19 200 2 0

20 200 0 0

21 200 1 0.5

22 200 1 0

23 200 1 0

24 150 1 0.5

25 100 0 1

26 100 0 0.5

27 100 1 0

28 100 0

Perhaps I should start to add times, it takes to get hard and orgasm. Not measurable testicular reduction to report. Despite 7y ago I did notice visual reduction, without measurement.

after about 2 weeks I will add Raloxifene, to see if it has any noticeable effects except avoiding osteoporosis and breast growth.

I haven't felt any depression or sudden mood change or being too emotional yet. I feel still happy and surprisingly energetic. Perhaps it is due to my much better sleep this time. Sleep is good for your brain.

[erikboy (imported)]

T+16

I still feel less castrated than 7y ago. But there is some progress during the last 2 days. I haven't had any morning woods 4 mornings in the row. Also my few day time erections remained on phantom erection level.

I still can get hard. it takes 3-5 minutes. But yesturday I couldn't reach an orgasm, and after trying for 40 minutes I gave up. Also my hotflashes have worsened. Yesturday I had many hotflashes during the day. Fortunately they were mild, but easily recognizable. And I had to take off some clothes in order not to get sweaty. It is not hot yet here. Today morning I woke up all soaked and wet and without erection. It is so cool to be castrated, that I get phantom erection when I think about it.

I am getting weaker and slower, and get tired faster. Still I do excercise, and feel energetic and happy if I get enough rest and sleep. Sleeping problem is not so bad anymore. I try to exhaust myself physically by bedtime. Seems like it helps. I still wake up at nights, but it is easy go back to sleep and have good, deep sleep.

I haven't told, that I have mild joint pains since about 4th day. Nothing severe, and it seem to get better.

On 4th 6th and 7th night I woke up from extreme cold. I felt so cold that I shivered uncontrollably. Last time this happened, was 7y ago. So it is certainle related to Androcur or low T.

After 2 days I plan to reduce androcur to 50mg a day for one week and see how it affects me. Then I decide what I do next. Either go to high dosage for 3 days and then reduce it slowly to 50mg again, or do nothing, if I feel castrated enough.

Damn, I am almost castrated, it is so cool!

[erikboy (imported)]

T+18

no morningwood today. 6 days in a row. and no orgasm too. I have several hotflashes during a day. Sleep was bad again today. But I managed to get some rest during the day and it helped. Sometimes I feel so tired. And hour later I feel energy. But still I don't feel castrated enough yet.

Today I go to 50mg/day from 100mg/day for few days.

[erikboy (imported)]

T +19

Today I feel horribly weak. Even my body feels heavy to move. Lack of energy is a steep contrast to energy I had only 2 days ago.

This is probably due to reduction of androcur intake. Androcur affects corticosteroid production. We'll see if it gets better in coming days. No morning woods.

[erikboy (imported)]

T +22

It has become clear that, as I lowered my Androcur intake, castration effects became more pronounced almost immediately. Thus, it is true, that Androcur can block castration effects by blocking Androgen conversion pathways, as I read frome some document about how Androcur works. First it blocks T receptors, which can be felt almost immediately. In my case already on third day I started to notice effects. But then Testosterone precursors were accumulated and weren't allowed to leave due to high Androcur intake levels. As I dropped Androcur levels, castration effects became more serious.

Last three days I've had serious hot flashes. I've been all soaked in the morning. I haven't masturbated for almost 3 days. Yesturday I tried. I got it half hard, and after some playing I felt mild satisfaction and lost interest and continued with other activities. I haven't had any morning woods for 10 mornings in a row. I've been very tired. It does not mean, that I am constantly tired. But by evening I am tired enough, so that I just can read books or wiki. I can't code or do any other more physically intense stuff without forcing myself.

My sleep is bad. But not as bad as 7 years ago. I can take naps during a day and feel quite OK.

I feel some lightheadedness. I suspect my memory has become worse.

My limbs have become slow. I can remember that teenage boys start to move their limbs quite sharply at some point. I have read that this is due to fast growth and coordination problems, but I suspect their jerky body movements are rather an effect of newly introduced testosterone, that makes muscles to react more hard and makes brain to work faster. And I am experiencing vice versa effects on my muscles. Sometimes I feel like I am walking in soft cotton, or haze. Thats funny. Also look at prepubertal children, despite they grow, their movements aren't jerky at all. They migh be unprecise, but not jerky.

Certainly I feel more castrated than lets say 5 days age. But not still enough castrated. I haven't reached that bottom that I experienced during my first trial yet. I certainly think much less about sex and stuff. But I still have these strange impulses. Instead of 10minutes intervals like few hour intervals.

My testicular size has not diminished yet.

I still could get it up in few minutes. But it won't go rock hard. It does'nt get hard without manual stimulation anymore.

One more thing I have noticed, that my skin feels more dry and acne is fading.