250-lb pig (yes, a swine)

[Dave (imported)]

I am at a loss for words but single words or two to three come to mind - stupid, dumb, senile, moronic

‘Distracted Driver’ Turns Out To Have 250-Pound Pig On Lap

The driver had a second pig in the car and said he didn’t want them to get cold.

By Hilary Hanson

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/distract ... 4c08cfaa3e

A Minnesota sheriff’s office encountered a couple of true road hogs earlier this week.

A driver who was pulled over for having trouble staying in his lane turned out to be operating the vehicle with a 250-pound pig on his lap, Sgt. Jason Foster told Minneapolis news station KMSP-TV.

He also had a smaller pig with him. Both pigs can be seen in a photo posted to social media by the Chisago County Sheriff’s Office. The smaller pig appears to be standing next to the driver’s seat, behind the larger pig’s leg.

In the post, the sheriff’s office noted that its officers have encountered plenty of drivers distracted by things like cellphones, food or changing the radio station, but catching someone driving with a lap pig “was a first.”

The man’s erratic driving was apparently caused by the larger pig leaning against the steering wheel.

Foster told the TV station that the man had his pigs on his lap because he was moving to another part of the state and didn’t want the pigs to get cold on the journey. The sergeant let the driver off with a warning.

When traveling by car with pets, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals generally recommends transporting them in secure, well-ventilated crates or carriers inside the vehicle.

[Arab Nights (imported)]

I drove like that on the way to my last 3some. I'm from I-I-I-I-I-daho.

[Dave (imported)]

To market, to market to buy a fat pig,

Home again, Home again, Jiggity Jig

[jamiepan (imported)]

I had a 300-lb pig resting its head on my lap while I drove us from the bar once. Her name was Patty, she was very, very drunk, she barfed in the foot-well of the passenger seat, broke a coffee-cup holder on the dash, and left a shit-streak on the seat when I got to her apartment building to drop her off.

Oink, indeed.

Please note, I do not refer to heavy ladies as pigs, as a rule. But trust me. This beast was a *pig*.