eunuchjeff (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 17, 2019 10:56 am
I remember thinking that I'd never want more surgery following my castration (almost 20 years ago). That's gradually changed. I'd definitely prefer not to have my empty sac or penis. I'd be acting on that except that I also have a desire to continue urinating in the traditional male standing position. This would mean having a partial penectomy at most (with removal of most of the shaft). From what I can gather, no surgeons are doing this.
I was much like you, and you'll remember I still had a penis when we met. I went nullo, and have no regrets. Frankly, I've found finding reasonable places to urinate easy to find. The only time I've had to worry about not standing was when the single pot in a public restroom had someone camping on it. Seems to happen most often when I REALLY have to piss.
It's not been a problem though, at least not enough of one I regret having my cock removed.
Losethem (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 17, 2019 3:25 pm
The only time I've had to worry about not standing was when the single pot in a public restroom had someone camping on it. Seems to happen most often when I REALLY have to piss.
That’s ALWAYS the case isn’t it??
Losethem (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 17, 2019 3:25 pm
It's not been a problem though, at least not enough of one I regret having my cock removed.
Mine wasn’t voluntary, but sitting to piss doesn’t make my list of top concerns. I’m sure worse things truly do happen at sea.
i find that satisfying an urge with an orgasm decreases the need for that urge to the point of it being something not needing any attention for a period of time. i suspect that as time passes, that desire is like a cup that gradually gets filled and once again needs to be emptied (orgasm). as i get older, i have found that my enjoyment of sex and attraction (in my case to women) has diminished and or changed or ive discovered the true reason for my attraction and realize that it is not sexual desire, but that to me, women are role models and comrades and or are a refuge from what haunts me - even though i dont know what haunts me. at this point in my life i detest all the feelings that my genitals provide even including the urge to pee. i want to rid myself of the whole works but dont want to have nothing there. that, i dont like. this is why for me, moving toward total physical female seems desirable. however i dont want to be a woman. i will not consider myself a woman if i ever accomplish more than just an orchiectomy.
ironically, for myself, i find the term hot troubling. i hate the idea of sexy and desire and even talk about parts etc. but i also realize that i cant keep me away from discussion. it is just difficult for me and getting more - even with the therapy im in. youd think id be finding something better and not worse. maybe im just not where i need to be yet. i do have the belief and feeling that once i get the orchiectomy im be viewing things more positively.
i hope im answering your question. i do see its from a long time ago but hoping you are still interested. i find answering helpful. thanks.
Yes, I share the same experience, that the longer I went without orgasm / release, I stronger I feel the attraction of becoming a eunuch. Now that I am permanently chemically castrated, my focus is further reducing my genital size.
Before I had to start my TRT to alleviate my depression and slow down osteopenia, I could go on 3 or 4 months without thinking about my penis, castration, orgasm, and all. During those 8 years, I rarely log onto EA, to the point that my original username hkeunuch got locked out. It was after I started my TRT and regained some level of libido that I regained some interest in chatting and discussing about castration.
As I reflect on these changes, I guess the ideation of castration may be linked to our libido.
sftineun (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 31, 2022 1:59 pm
Yes, I share the same experience, that the longer I went without orgasm / release, I stronger I feel the attraction of becoming a eunuch. Now that I am permanently chemically castrated, my focus is further reducing my genital size.
Before I had to start my TRT to alleviate my depression and slow down osteopenia, I could go on 3 or 4 months without thinking about my penis, castration, orgasm, and all. During those 8 years, I rarely log onto EA, to the point that my original username hkeunuch got locked out. It was after I started my TRT and regained some level of libido that I regained some interest in chatting and discussing about castration.
As I reflect on these changes, I guess the ideation of castration may be linked to our libido.
That seems to be my experience, sort of , I have sstrong castration ideation, but directly after sex it leaves me for about a half hour...so it's always there
Over a year ago I never gave becoming a Nullo much thought. I was disappointed in my no-functional penis and yet it was just part of me. It seldom played a role in my waning sex life and often shrank to the point I just always sat to pee. Then, after five years as a Eunuch and a year on HRT I began to view the appendage differently. It just didn't seem to belong down there all by itself anymore. Now I have no desire to become a woman yet no longer want the penis. Oh well, this has been written about enough elsewhere.
While I am definitely wanting to get rid of my balls, I have rather ambivalent feelings about my penis.
Mostly this is from a 'practical' standpoint because of my disability... I have to do intermittent catheterization to pee, which is fairly typical with an SCI... Being male is a definite advantage when cathing because access to the urethra is easier... (I have a female friend with a similar level injury, she claims the only time she ever got "penis envy" was when they started her lessons on how to cath in rehab...)
I certainly would not want the usual urethral redirect that goes with nullo surgery as that would make access harder... At the same time, my penis has shrunk to the point where it is mostly internal, with the skin that used to be around the shaft now covering most of the glans... It's become a bit of a pain to have to pull it out enough to get the cath started... It would be kind of nice if there was a way to anchor the urethra opening in a fixed place so it was easier to access. Any idea if this is even possible?
Thanks for the comment BGB. The condom caths are still an option for some, although arguably less popular with the doctors than they used to be... They wouldn't work for me at all for two reasons.... First is that you need to fully drain the bladder on a regular basis or a variety of bad things start happening, and my version of 'neurogenic bladder' is that it doesn't drain at all unless I get so over-full that I leak due to pressure.... Secondly they require a penis that is big and sticking out enough to put a condom over it - mine isn't...
I have also had to use an indwelling catheter for about a month in the past when one that I was trying gave me a 'false passage' and I had to use the indwelling version (aka Foley cath) while healing... I found it a seriously miserable experience to have to haul the bag around with me everywhere I went, or even just keep the hose from getting messed up when I'd roll over in bed, etc...
Especially for guys, intermittent cathing is the 'gold standard' of care for those that it works for... It is better for avoiding UTI's and leaves the patient unencumbered when not actually doing the deed...
I prefer to use what is known as a 'closed system' kit where the catheter has a collection bag as part of the system as it gives me more independence - I don't have to worry about getting to an accessible toilet, just enough privacy to do what I need to, and then hand the bag off to an able-bodied to deal with.... I think I've tried samples of every closed system kit available in the US, and found a particular one that I think is the best for me...
So basically what I think I need is more of a better configuration of MY bits to make things a bit easier. The doctor at the TG center I'm dealing with hasn't done a lot of detailed discussion with me yet about surgical options, but it sounds like I'll be able to have them do at least some changes while working in that area, so who knows...
I'm interested in figuring out what is readily doable, but at the same time my needs / wants are not the same as what a 'typical' modern nullo would be after. From the descriptions and bad photos I've seen, I'd probably want something closer to the 'historical' full castration, but at the same time I'd like to keep at least the same limited amount of pleasure I get from my current penis....
My path to dreaming of becoming zero started in 2005 when I saw a picture on the internet of a penis that was opened from the bottom halfway up the shaft into the urethra
until. It opened so beautifully and the incision glistened wet. I wanted one for myself. I looked for more information on the bodymod sites and started the mod around
in a week. A year later I had an incision to halfway and about 15 mm above the glans. It was allowed to be like that for ten years, the desire to continue grew
I drive. At the same time, interest in castration arose. I'm looking for information on how it would be possible. In the fall of 2016, I decided that the balls were
allowed to go. In January 2017, both testicles were hard and shrunk and raised above the groin, due to alcohol injections. The testicles were removed in the hospital
cancer due to suspicion, the right in February and the left in May. As soon as I woke up after the operation, I felt my crotch with my hand and found that the scrotum
was empty was the happiest of my life.
I've never liked having hair on my skin. As soon as the first hairs started to grow in the groin area, I removed them with my father's razor. I had no hair
by the age of almost 25. Later, occasionally they were allowed to grow, but the pubic area has almost always been smooth. I have used razor, epilator,
wax strips and tweezers. I love the hairless and smooth feel. In the fall of 2018, I wanted a more permanent solution. I had laser hair removal more than 10 times
during the year, everything from the breasts to the toes. It was very expensive. Since then I have continued with the IPL laser when needed. I would still like to
be hairless.
I have received testosterone injections starting a few months after the castration, it seemed necessary then. The body reacts violently to the lack of a test.
I have reduced the injection interval by almost two times and I have used estrogen pills for 4-6 week periods when the testo is low. The breasts have grown
as I hoped. Now A cup manboobs.
Already in the winter of 2018, I started splitting the penis. First I wanted to split the glans completely. After about a year, I had reached corona. At the same time,
I was also thinking about a sequel. Cut through the entire penis or cut off an inch or two stump. For the first time, I also thought about removing the entire penis.
I wanted to split my penis then until halfway between the poule and then cut the halves off. However, I quickly noticed that I wanted to be a complete nullo. I think
the phenomenon was a normal development head towards extreme change. I thought that achieving a goal raises your hopes higher, when you realize what you have achieved,
you know that it is possible to achieve something that was previously thought impossible.
I knew that my wife will be able to retire before Christmas 2020 and my chance to cut my penis any more will end. The shaft was cut across the way and the bottom half
an inch into the scrotum. It opened up much more than I had expected. The penis was two inches wide and looked longer than before the operation. The cuts have grown back
about an inch That's not what I was hoping for, on the contrary I wanted there to be as little as possible between the legs. The erections also stopped. I could not
to masturbate and not have an orgasm for two years. Now the erections are back and I had an orgasm a few days ago.
Pretty soon after the castration I was looking for shemale sex, I admitted that I am bi. Liked it a lot. Now I am ready to admit that I am also trans.
I want to keep my body hairless from the neck down, I want feminine C or D cup breasts, I want the penis to be removed as completely as possible.
I want an pussy between my legs, it doesn't have to be very deep,I want to stop testosterone and get estrogen medication.
I want my body to look like a woman's body. I know I cant get all.
While writing this, I realized that I have, or have always had, gender dysphoria. It doesn't change anything, at least I'm not ready to apply for relief yet.
But the idea of gender reassignment surgery is tempting. I think that the strength of my dysphoria depends more on changes in hormone levels and that
I went nullo, and have no regrets. Frankly, I've found finding reasonable places to urinate easy to find. The only time I've had to worry about not standing was when the single pot in a public restroom had someone camping on it. Seems to happen most often when I REALLY have to piss.