Penis Measurement - A Revolutionary Approach

[madnomadtoo (imported)]

From the Peer Review Journal of Serendipitous Research:

The current method of assessing erect penis length, by placing a ruler along the topside with its end pushed against the pubic bones, is unrealistic. The ruler method may be an accepted standard, but what percentage of men, intentionally or not, misuse it? Surely some males wish to seem longer or shorter and “adjust” the ruler placement to support a preconceived notion of penis length.

A more accurate measurement calls for a clear plastic tube marked off in inches or centimeters. The insertion end flares out into flanges representing the female perineum, labia majora, pubic bones, and mons pubis, the natural constraints to the thrusting male groin. Female structures are pliable, whereas plastic flanges are not, but forceful pushing against the flanges would compensate for this.

By gauging how far into the tube the penis can be inserted, this device would provide undeniable evidence of true erect penis length.

As an example, my ruler measurement is four inches. Factually, based on experience and sworn testimonies, I cannot penetrate to four inches. I, and all other interested parties, need a more precise figure. After all, how far one can insert the penis into the tube, and, by extension, a human orifice, is the real point, isn’t it?

With the development of an official, medically endorsed and standard measurement device, the U.S. Congress could then legislate penis length as a means of identity to be included on men’s driver’s licenses, passports and credit cards, as well as those of their mates.

In the absence of further legislation, institutions currently thwarted by civil rights laws, such as law enforcement and the insurance industry, would once again possess certifiably legal means of discrimination, along with its concurrent social and economic gains.

ADDENDUM: The original prototype turned out to be waaaaaay too short. We're working on that.

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