Dave Reviews (craps on) Movies (intermittently and with gusto)

[Dave (imported)]

>>Feel free to comment or add a competing review<<

My Movie Review (i.e. Danny Craps on a Movie)

JUSTICE LEAGUE

After “Batman versus Superman" and the “death” of superman, the scriptwriters thought that BATMAN should be so guilt-ridden and shamed by Superman’s selfless “death” that he feels guilty. SO they invented another boring villain and three glowing objects that will destroy the earth as we know it.

SteppenWolf who by uniting three glowing things can destroy the world. He has no backstory. he appears. The three glowing things

And they bring together a rather strange assortment of superheroes with their various idiosyncrasies - - The Flash (who is horrible childish and immature), Aquaman (who is laughably a “Mary Sue” character), Diana Prince (who in the century since WW1 and the loss of Steve Trevor has hidden in society and somehow lost what made her so charming and good in Wonder Woman), and CYBORG (who has some history with the glowing things and controls metal) and finally, the still grumpy and sour-dispositioned BATMAN who seems to be perpetually constipated and angry about it.

The script isn’t complex or unique - - Superheroes unite to save the world. Big bangs, big fights and stuff like we’ve seen before. Worse than the simplicity, is the bareness of a script that has no depth, scatter-brained action, childish banter (we always have banter but some of it might be fun and not embarrassing or puerile)… sigh

Quotes like “This is science withouts limits. What else is science for?”

Uh, ask Frankenstein and you might get an answer.

[Paolo]

Earlier this year, I tried watching this on the plane on the built-in video player in the seat. I made it about 1/3 through, and the flight to MN was over. Thankfully. I never went back to see the rest.

Back in the day, DC was "it" with "Batman" in 1989, and since then, they've done nothing but blow it.

There's probably some thing about rated PG13 or R movies starring kids, but as the boys surveyed on the baseball league put it, "Why don't they do a Robin movie with a 10 year old Robin? Or Teen Titans with 13 year olds?"

The DC franchise, I feel, has lost it for us older comic book and camp-TV geeks. There is no appeal to kids. And as far as Millennials, the batch I know has no interest in them either.

Hell, we'd even settle for a Batman spinoff with Nightwing as a Millennial (age) with a boy playing Damien Wayne. And don't even get me started on him...

[Dave (imported)]

For all the money they invest in these MARVEL and Dell Comics superhero movies, they somehow forget that these stories need a proper plot and character development.

[Dave (imported)]

#2 - Dave Craps on a movie: GEOSTORM

GEOSTORM

Sci Fi at its stereotypical and silly fun bestest, goofiness, and un-scientific best, Sort of.

The Premise is that scientists discovered a way to control the weather with satellites. However, before the control space station is turned over to world authorities, some villain takes control of the satellites and threatens a global weather catastrophe.

It’s MAD SCIENTISTS TRY TO DESTROY THE PLANET, once again with gusto. It’s not bad, it’s just been done so many times, over and over. It’s got nifty car chases. It’s got big bangs. It’s got guns. It’s got the vacuum of space. And It’s got a really super-duper COUNTDOWN CLOCK to the end of the world.

I grew up with “Kung-Fu Theater” every Saturday afternoon. “Chiller Theater” every Saturday night. Mothra and The Mysterians and Godzilla and blood-soaked Draculas, fearless vampire killers, . . . And GEOSTORM does work as a mystery and world-ending conspiracy.

Lots of plot holes. Lots of fake drama. But still fun Sci-Fi.

And an action flick that does provide a few cheap thrills as parts of the world get destroyed.

And the good guys win.

I might watch it again for the car chase sequences -- little tiny car doing things that violate newtonian physics ... OOOOOH la la

[madnomadtoo (imported)]

For all the money they invest in these MARVEL and Dell Comics superhero movies, they somehow forget that these stories need a proper plot and character development.

As others have noted, the DC developers failed to do what Marvel's did so well -- develop the characters through a series of movies running up to the three (so far) Avengers outings. I can appreciate the realistic tension between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark. I can empathize with the other characters' failings. We have a collection of flawed heroes blending the best of themselves together to prevail in the end. Marvel approaches the epic.

As for the Justice League, they seem, well, more like comic book stuff. Not well fleshed out, elementary in their motives, cryptic in their effect. Superman poses. Batman glowers. Wonder Woman represents. The rest are simply there. I have no investment like I have with Nick Fury's crew.

I have no idea where the the DC bunch are going, but in the Marvel Universe I look forward to the introduction of Captain Marvel and the fourth Avengers movie. Marvel's only limit seems to be how long the ticket buyers remain enthralled with this genre.

[madnomadtoo (imported)]

#2 - Dave Craps on a movie: GEOSTORM

GEOSTORM

Sci Fi at its stereotypical and silly fun bestest, goofiness, and un-scientific best, Sort of.

I like your approach here, Dave. I cherish my childhood memories of sitting in the sticky-floored Ritz theater, eating up the low-budget black-and-white sci-fi/monster movies of that time. Nowadays, pseudo-sophisticates ridicule sci-fi movies for being "unscientific," while praising movies about "knights" with mystic mental powers wielding plasma swords whose beams jut out just so far and then stop. Surely the one is no more justifiably established than the other.

"Geostorm" reminds me of another of my favorites, "The Core." Both do what the 50's movies did so well, bending facts, cooking the science like Meth, all in the service of fun. We can't criticize movies like these for their wild departures from reality, because that's the whole point.

Give me the fantastic premise, the impossible machinery, the stereotypical characters, and I'm a happy guy. I'm in my old theater again on a responsibility-free Saturday.

That's priceless.

[Dave (imported)]

...

"Geostorm" reminds me of another of my favorites, "The Core."

...

Give me the fantastic premise, the impossible machinery, the stereotypical characters, and I'm a happy guy. I'm in my old theater again on a responsibility-free Saturday. ...

That's priceless.

I agree...

THE CORE is a scientific abomination but it is fun to watch.

And that is what it shares with cheesy Sci-Fi -- It's fun to watch.

I love the way those little teeny compact cars in GEOSTORM just defy the Laws of Motion and all of physics. They are tin piles of junk with 4 cylinder cranked up law mower motors and they outrun everything else. IT makes the Little Boy in me do a happy dance...

[Dave (imported)]

... Wonder Woman ...

I was thrilled to see a character like WONDER WOMAN appear as a superhero.

Diana Prince looks at the horror of war and says "no more" and does something about it. There's a reason people cheer her when she charges out of the Trenches to save a town -- that's what she believes with all her being. She is a "man for all times" (and I do not use that title loosely) because she sees the "War to end all wars" lesson of WW1... A lesson that world leaders forgot in Versailles.

Then in Justice League the writers lessen that idealism and drive and make her just another member of the team. the Character of Diana Prince was the bright light in WONDER WOMAN. IT isn't in JUSTICE LEAGUE and the movie suffers for it.

[Losethem (imported)]

#2 - Dave Craps on a movie: GEOSTORM

They made a movie about these?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geo_Storm ... 9-2009.jpg

[Paolo]

I knew that was coming, LT, I just didn't want to be the one to say it!