Shame and regret...but I’d do it again!

[sparkey49 (imported)]

Makes sense in my case!

[MikeGrant (imported)]

If I will want to father children???

So although I was perfectly capable of biologically producing a child until very recently, I chose not to. I have raised 4 children, fostered, and now am a youth leader to boys aged 12 to 17, many of whom do not have a "father" in their life. Only last night a boy called me to say he was stuck with a broken bike. I was his first call. Being a father isnt anything to do with planting your seed in a female. My step kids all come to me first, not their biological father. I have "fathered" many children and continue to do so. You can be a real father any time you choose! There are lots of wonderful children out there desperate for you to make that decision!

[Nidaho Rachel (imported)]

I like that term "The inner feminine desire" it explains what I have always felt. I believe my male mind never fully developed. I have had that inner female yearning to find a way out for as long as I can remember. I think this is what feeds my desire to have something other than male genitals.

[Begoneboy (imported)]

Never had any shame or regret of becoming nullo. As to the inner desire, I've never wanted to be either or perhaps always wanted to be both. I know we are all female in the beginning of female development and for some testosterone becomes introduced to develop the fetus into male. I've never had a hangup towards one or the other but never wanted to be either.

[Nidaho Rachel (imported)]

I can understand the desire to not be either gender. Hopefully someday soon becoming what form of non-binary gender one feels they are will be much easier.

[Lesley (imported)]

I am different to you all, as my regret is that I did NOT become a feminised eunuch/nullo in my teens!

I feel that is too late to transition now, being in my late 70s with a stable family life. Would not want to upset that, as it would cause too much hurt all around.

However, if I was young now, I could see myself flying the family nest and joining the eunuch community somewhere.

Just putting the regret bit the other way around for this thread.

Justine77 & Begoneboy, both your lifestyles appear to be the type of existence that I would strive for.

Lesley.

[Zebedeee (imported)]

I’m forty seven next month and my biggest regret is not starting down this path years ago, the younger the better.

I only started taking anti androgens four months ago and I’m still a long way from making any permanent changes, but already I feel ‘right’ after enduring years of mental anguish…

I am happy - which is not something I ever thought I’d say.

[erikboy (imported)]

I have done an Androcur trial and I came to a same conclusion like a thread starter did. I would have had similar insecurities and aspects of life as an eunuch, but still I would have chosen becoming an eunuch. And my life had been more enjoyable as an eunuch, if I look back on it. But now, at this age that I am already feeling my testosterone levels dropping fast, I feel like I am past the eunuch prime time in my life. I don't feel like I would have much to gain from becoming an eunuch now. I have hesitated too long, being indecisive makes me regret. I could have coped with all setbacks related to low T and enjoyed myself being special and being myself. Now if I look back, it seems it would have been best if I was castrated sometime in my early twenties or even earlier, if I had all the knowledge about castration and eunuchdom I have now. But even if I hadn't, I think I still had quite a happy eunuch life thanks to EA.

[Begoneboy (imported)]

I suspect Justin77 enjoying the youth part of this all and myself now enjoying the not quite so young part of it all is a great example of how the span of time between Eunuch demonstrates very well that this is beyond generational. While I became Eunuch in my early thirties and now just turned 60 I can truly feel the excitement Justine77 is going through at the beginning of the journey through life as a Eunuch. Yes, Lesley may have hit on something. A feminised nullo is not something many strive for nor I in the beginning. But that having happened through the evolution of life has actually been welcome and if I could begin in my life again I would become nullo at a much earlier age than I did. Perhaps not pre puberty but for sure in the 20s rather than the thirties.

[justine77 (imported)]

Hi, being castrated in my early twenties worked out well for me. At the time I IDed as feminine androgyne so after I'd adapted to being nutless my status as a feminized eunuch fitted closely to how I felt myself to be internally. If I had known this earlier I would have looked to be cut at 18. I never considered myself particularly male but I don't think of myself as female either. I'd say a bit of both with something else which is neither. Feminized eunuch is exactly right for me. Justine x