Need Advice Please

[hairysac (imported)]

I’ve been reading these forums for several years now, and I really need to get this off my chest. This may not be the right forum to post this in, if not I will gladly move/remove it.

Ok well here it goes, I’ve had a strong desire for castration since I was about 12-13 years old. I don’t really know how to explain it, it’s not that I don’t identify as a male, because I do, I just feel like they don’t “belong”. It’s not a sexual fetish thing IMO, because I don’t get “off” on the idea of being castrated, I just feel that I would be happier if I was. I’ve already played with banding, clamping, and general abuse of my testicles, and while I do get aroused by such, that isn’t the reasoning behind why I do it.

Ok a little I am 38 years old married to a woman I love, I have a 13 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. I had a vasectomy shortly after my son was born, (too bad he didn’t slip) so fathering more children isn’t an issue. My wife and I don’t really have a healthy sex life, but it’s not non existent either(once a month probably) it’s not that I don’t want to, but I’m done begging. I feel as though I am oversexed, I can’t quit thinking sexual thoughts and masterbate twice a day when not at home. (Not home 3-4 nights a week)

I would like to try chemical castration, probably androcur, but I don’t want to do it behind her back. I just don’t feel that would be fair to her. If I decide that I like the effects ultimately my goal would be surgically removed, I live two hours from Detroit, where it could be done reasonably easy. So I guess what I’m asking is there anybody out there with the same thoughts as me? Am I nuts, do I need mental help? And has anyone else had a tough time telling there significant other about their wishes? She has no clue, I have never told her anything remotely close to my feelings on this, and she’s never “played” with me. I would like to blame her for these thoughts but I like I said I’ve had them way before I knew her.

Sorry for being so wordy but I needed to ask.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Welcome! Read lots here, and ask lots. Hope you find what you're looking for.

I am a happily married eunuch for many years. I recommend it, IMHO.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

Hey and welcome ! You ve read enough on this forum to know how many of us normal and sane men do have similar urges and most of us just don t know why. Most men just keep it a harmless fantasy and relax and simply enjoy it as a kink that turns us on. Most of us fantasy wankers especially, can t explain these urges or why we have them. I think that s being a normal man in not knowing why.

I gotta ask you this. If your wife was crazy to have tons of sex with you all the time, exhausting you with awesome sex every day, would you still want to be castrated and lose all of your healthy and normal high sex drive and all of your sexual abilities and all those intense male sexual pleasures ?

Normal men can have very high sex drives harmlessly. Jacking off tons is nothing to be ashamed of or wrong. Its just what all men do if sex is not available to them, that s perfectly normal and common for lots of men.

You got fixed for your wife so she isn t at any risk of pregnancy. You got fixed to enjoy more great sex without impregnating anyone from it. You sound very responsible, mature, normal, and simply lacking enough healthy sex that most males desire like wild. Do you really want to give up all sex ?

I think a lot of us men do connect castration and sex and our own balls at young ages. That seems fairly common in men with castration urges. And you are right. You had these same urges long before you met your wife. She didn t cause these urges. But maybe this lack of sex, being finished having all the kids you want to have, and your age are all moving you from a long fantasy urge for the last 22 years to wanting to make castration real for you ? Take any of those away, and you probably would keep castration as a fantasy just like you did for the last 22 years.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

A very high sex drive and abilities is a huge gift to men enjoying lots of sex.

Men want relief from a high sex drive when they don t get enough sex.

You sound very lucky to have a high sex drive and high sexual abilities. Your wife is lacking normal enjoyment of sex that women should enjoy having. If her sex drive matched yours then you wouldn t want to decrease your sex drive. Maybe she should work on increasing her sex drive to a normal level and try to meet you half way as a compromise and in fairness to you ?

[hairysac (imported)]

A very high sex drive and abilities is a huge gift to men enjoying lots of sex.

Men want relief from a high sex drive when they don t get enough sex.

You sound very lucky to have a high sex drive and high sexual abilities. Your wife is lacking normal enjoyment of sex that women should enjoy having. If her sex drive matched yours then you wouldn t want to decrease your sex drive. Maybe she should work on increasing her sex drive to a normal level and try to meet you half way as a compromise and in fairness to you ?

It’s not the amount of sex that draws me to this, I still had the same desires when my wife was just as you say it, wanting it all the time, actually for a spell I had wished she wanted it less. This really isn’t about the kink involved because I don’t wank or get off over it. I really don’t know how to explain it but it just doesn’t feel like they belong, the fact that sex drive would disappear to me doesn’t seem like too much of a down fall. I would really like to get my urges in check but don’t know any other way, I’ve been like this my whole adult life, it’s not that I’m ashamed or anything like that, just sick of it. While your advice is very accurate, and probably the safest move I plan to move forward with this I am mostly just trying to figure out how to get my wife on board without freaking her out. I am just so sick of my libido running (ruining) my life.

[kristoff]

It’

s not the amount of sex that draws me to this, I still had the same desires when my wife was just as you say it, wanting it all the time, actually for a spell I had wished she wanted it less. This really isn

’t about the kink involved because I don’

t wank or get off over it. I really don’t know how to explain it but it just doesn’t feel like they belong, the fact that sex drive would disappear to me doesn’t seem like too much of a down fall. I would really like to get my urges in check but don

’t know any other way, I’

ve been like this my whole adult life, it’s not that I’m ashamed or anything like that, just sick of it. While your advice is very accurate, and probably the safest move I plan to move forward with this I am mostly just trying to figure out how to get my wife on board without freaking her out. I am just so sick of my libido running (ruining) my life.

Read about Body Integrity Identity Disorder - it is your story. There is a section on it here.

[hairysac (imported)]

Read about Body Integrity Identity Disorder - it is your story. There is a section on it here.

That most certainly does sum up my thinking very well. Thank you

If only it was that easy to explain to others, my physcologist would see it in the same way

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

A very high sex drive can be both a blessing and a burden. Like looking at a glass of water as half empty or half full. I just think libido is a vital part of being a sexual man. Sure it can be a hassle and makes us do things we wouldn t do otherwise. But it has its pleasures and thrills too.

Feeling your wife out about how she feels about castration would be much easier by discussing someone else who got castrated. Someone you know, a news story, a safe stranger that doesn t cause all kinds of emotional response and personal reactions from your wife. You d need to be alone and in a serious and honest conversation when you try it. Anyone else being around puts expectations, image, and other agendas in the way of honest words from both of you. A discussion of your future risk of prostate cancer and castration as a common treatment can be a safe discussion with your wife. Or try discussing female menopause compared to male castration as a serious consideration for you as a male to consider in the future as a way to equalize your different sex drives in your later years.

Try the general topic applied to strangers and see how she reacts before you make it personal and apply it to yourself and her. It might take a long time for her to seriously consider it.