Shamelessly stolen jokes

[talula]

I accidently stepped on Spots tail the other day and the subsequent screaming and cursing was nothing as mild as that.

[Dave (imported)]

I accidently stepped on Spots tail the other day and the subsequent screaming and cursing was nothing as mild as that.

When I watch political news alone at home, I yell vile things at the TV. On occasion, I've embarrassed myself at the vileness.

[Dave (imported)]

We hear that line at the MOM quite often, but it's referring to the Mothership's cat!

I saw a court case on TV today that was about a man who moved into a room with two dobermans that a woman was renting. The woman already had six cats. Somehow disaster followed. Gee, I wonder why!

added: I do wonder if multiple cats require multiple litter boxes...

[Paolo]

Talula hath sinned! LOL

[Dave (imported)]

Q: What was the first Roman Emperor - Imperator Caesar Divi Filius Augustus - favorite Rolling Stones song?

A: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” (“I’d always thought the world was a wish-granting factory.” -Augustus)

[Dave (imported)]

Q: How did Voltaire like his apples?

A: Candied, (Candide)

[rogerwpbfl (imported)]

Q: How did Voltaire like his apples?

A: Candied, (Candide)

Very punny

[Dave (imported)]

Q. What was Dorothy Parker’s favorite pastime?

A. Horticulture (“You can lead a whore to culture but you can’t make her think.”)

(old but still good)

[Dave (imported)]

Q: Who was Douglas Adams’s favorite baseball player?

A: Jackie Robinson (his uniform emblazoned with “the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything;” 42)

[Eunuchorn (imported)]

Q: Who was Douglas Adams’s favorite baseball player?

A: Jackie Robinson (his uniform emblazoned with “the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything;” 42)

The reason why Adams chose 42 was smarter than people first realize. if you look up 42 on the ascii table. it returns an astrix. if you use an astrix in boolean programing, it is a symbol for anything. if you know you want something that starts with a certain group of letters and not care what it returned you use the astrix. so. the astrix in programming means "anything you want it to be".... so, The Answer to Life, The Universe, And Everything is Anything you want it to be.