puns

[Dave (imported)]

The Swordfish has few natural predators except for the Pen Fish which is said to be mightier than the Sword(fish)

[Dave (imported)]

Question: What's the difference between Swine-Flu and Bird Flu?

Answer: One requires Tweetment and the other requires Oinkment.

[Zampa5522 (imported)]

Q: Is Google male or female?

A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

[Dave (imported)]

There was a huge fight at the Seafood Restaurant ...

Battered fish lay everywhere

[Dave (imported)]

Did you hear about Harry? He had a fight with a Cabbage Salad -

He fought the Slaw and the Slaw won

[Dave (imported)]

As a dedicated Carnivorous Vegetarian, I can only eat carnivorous plants

[Dave (imported)]

I have a great joke about mathematics but I'm 2² to say it...

[Stevenator (imported)]

Some of these are funny.

Airlines dropped the term “stewardess” in 1974, yet people still predominantly use it today.

[Dave (imported)]

Five rather eclectic and exotic puns appeared in my mail box, so I took them for this post:

The raves about my next-to-last place finish glad-hand my heart.

The horny housewife got caught boff fingerpost man.

When Elvis first appeared on TV people asked, “Didja see that chirocracy possessed?”

I thought a bareknuckle was found on a ship’s hull.

Friends told Alan Sheppard, “Manumission was a great success!”

[Dave (imported)]

A horse goes into a bar and orders a pint.

The bartender says: "You know, you come in here quite often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"

The horse answers: "I don't think I am." and promptly disappears.

You see, this is a joke about Rene Descartes famous philosophical statement "Cogito Ergo Sum." (Translation: "I think, therefore I am.")

But if I would have said that first before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.