Q: Who led the Israelites through the Semi-Permeable Membrane?
A: OsMoses
puns
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DeaconBlues (imported)
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Dave (imported)
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Re: puns
The latest Marvel Movie BLACK PANTHER grossed over $202 Million Dollars this opening weekend.
Also, it grossed $67.00 Dollars at the concessions stand...
{that is a LOL funny joke, in case you don't understand. No, I won't publicly explain it.}
Also, it grossed $67.00 Dollars at the concessions stand...
{that is a LOL funny joke, in case you don't understand. No, I won't publicly explain it.}
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Eunuchorn (imported)
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Re: puns
Remember that Andy Serkis (Gollum) and Martin Freeman (Bilbo) were both in that movie as the Tolkein white guys...
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Dave (imported)
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Re: puns
Two thoughts:
1) Cooking Tip: When making Macaroni and Cheese and finding that your milk is out of date, do not use eggnog
2) another Cooking tip: Potatoes do not belong in Tuna-Noodle Casserole
Errant brain pharte: I once knew an opera singer named Isabella Rossellini TunaZiti-Caseroley ...
1) Cooking Tip: When making Macaroni and Cheese and finding that your milk is out of date, do not use eggnog
2) another Cooking tip: Potatoes do not belong in Tuna-Noodle Casserole
Errant brain pharte: I once knew an opera singer named Isabella Rossellini TunaZiti-Caseroley ...
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Ernie of Maine (imported)
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I ones though I made a mistake but I was wrong.Re: puns
Dave (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 08, 2018 5:37 pm Two thoughts:
1) Cooking Tip: When making Macaroni and Cheese and finding that your milk is out of date, do not use eggnog
2) another Cooking tip: Potatoes do not belong in Tuna-Noodle Casserole ...
Just like mushrooms do not belong in chili.
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Dave (imported)
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Re: puns
Some of these are probably repeated somewhere...
Apologies in advance...
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan Island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine
21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure? The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Apologies in advance...
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan Island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine
21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure? The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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Eunuchorn (imported)
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Re: puns
"I'm writing this from the hospital, Don't worry, the doctors say I'm going to be fine. But I feel I should warn you that the "Dyson Ball Cleaner" has a very misleading name.
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Dave (imported)
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Re: puns
Q: What did Shakespeare say after eating Jalapeño cheese dip for the first time?
A: By the twitching of my arse, something wicked makes me pharte
(This was Something for Senseless and Stunningly Silly Saturdays)
A: By the twitching of my arse, something wicked makes me pharte
(This was Something for Senseless and Stunningly Silly Saturdays)