Oh the shame of being a man with girly legs

[InnoscentLamb (imported)]

Good evening all,

I have what feels like a unique problem and would be greatful for anyone with advice.

the problem is I have a compelling need to shave my body hair. Legs, chest, and pubes especially. Shaving facial hair is no problem since that's normalized in our culture.

This condition is typically known as Trichotemnomania and is classified more as an obcessive-compulsive disorder. But in my case, I believe it may be related to displaying symbolic castration desires. Or trying to adjust my outward level of masculinity to my inner level.

Or maybe it's not sexual at all, I've always been a clean freak.

But since men shaving is about as common as women not shaving in the United States right now and unless you're a swimmer, triathelete, or other elite sports participant, there are very few plausible explanations.

I first shaved my arms at age 10; thought at the time people wouldn't notice. Not so lucky now.

I've shaved my legs a couple times since then, worked hard on a tan, but it still embarrassed the heck out of me being seen in public like a wet dog. It does not help that I'm ectomorph skinny with long smooth muscles and no buldging veins.

From what I've read, only 1 in 5 women are into the smooth look; they're looking for masculinity and many of the gays are too. So body hair = good, shaved = wierd.

today's 20 year old males think nothing of shaving their bodies. But folks over 40 seem kind of set in their ways, preferring the hairy look of the 70s.

and since the latter is my peer group, I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place.

The shaving is so soothing, kind of like a coping strategy for MTF.

It's a turn on, yes, but also tremendously releiving.

The feel is great around the house, in jeans, sheets, shorts. But going outside triggers tremendous inadequate male disphoria. So it relieves the disphoria privately but hastens it publically.

Yet this feels like a form of expression that I must address. If 80% of the people are repelled, but I meet the 20% who approve, then perhaps that is progress. Because it's those 20% I want to be with.

I have a suspician asian folks might prefer this look.

but still, getting over the fear of being perceived as a wierdo really has me stuck.

What will my personal trainer think? I'm obviously not ready for bodybuilder shoots.

Will people think I'm gay?

I possibly am, but I'm not sure I'm ready for the world to know.

Will people think I'm trans? perhaps not, as I don't play with other feminine traits much except I love to wear shorts.

And you can't be a femboy or twink when you're over 40.

I have a suspician that once I get past this, I'll look back and think "no big deal.

But I also worry that this may be a slippery slope to MTE or MTF.

As a shrink once commented, "You seem conflicted."

Thanks so much to anyone with any personal insights or psychological clarification!

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

It is YOUR body, if you like the way you feel with shaved legs then I say you should shave them! If anyone else has a problem with it, then seriously, they have a problem. Your legs are yours. If you like wearing earrings then it is your earlobes, and yours to do with as you like. In all honesty, have hated body hair on men or women for as long as I can remember and I don't think you are necessarily gay or transsexual if you are a man and shave your legs. A few times I have shaved my legs (Nair actually) just to see what it felt like, and I loved it, I don't often shave them now because I just don't want to go to the trouble of it. IF I ever won the lottery and had the sort of money it takes I have no doubt at all that I would go for that permanent laser hair removal, and I would have every hair from my earlobes to my toes permanently removed, the only place I LIKE hair on my body is on my head, everywhere else I tolerate it, but I don't like it (I especially hate pubic hair and underarm hair). Hell, now that I think about it, I might just go buy a couple of bottles of Nair and go for the hairless look, I know I love the feel of freshly shaved legs and arms, especially in the shower or when I go swimming.

I think it would be actually a pretty long reach to assume that any man who shaved his body hair was gay, after all, this is the twenty first century, body hair is from the cave man times.

[Ernie of Maine (imported)]

It is YOUR body, if you like the way you feel with shaved legs then I say you should shave them! If anyone else has a problem with it, then seriously, they have a problem. Your legs are yours. If you like wearing earrings then it is your earlobes, and yours to do with as you like. In all honesty, have hated body hair on men or women for as long as I can remember and I don't think you are necessarily gay or transsexual if you are a man and shave your legs. A few times I have shaved my legs (Nair actually) just to see what it felt like, and I loved it, I don't often shave them now because I just don't want to go to the trouble of it. IF I ever won the lottery and had the sort of money it takes I have no doubt at all that I would go for that permanent laser hair removal, and I would have every hair from my earlobes to my toes permanently removed, the only place I LIKE hair on my body is on my head, everywhere else I tolerate it, but I don't like it (I especially hate pubic hair and underarm hair). Hell, now that I think about it, I might just go buy a couple of bottles of Nair and go for the hairless look, I know I love the feel of freshly shaved legs and arms, especially in the shower or when I go swimming.

I think it would be actually a pretty long reach to assume that any man who shaved his body hair was gay, after all, this is the twenty first century, body hair is from the cave man times.

Just do it! It is your body so just do it most folks will not not notes it anyway. So just do it you do not need any ones permission to do it. If you use Nair be careful read the instructions(It can burn if you don't)you maybe able to do all your body . Test to find if are able to do it! I am able to do it be careful.Not ever one is able!

[InnoscentLamb (imported)]

Thanks to you all for your encouragement.

I'm buzzing them down slowly with the clippers and each day that doesn't end in catastrophe gives me a little more confidence that androgeny is not going to kill me.

Perhaps the main fear here for me was being perceived as less masculine than I am, and I was never oozing with tons of it anyway.

However, I'm now coming to understand that females, and often older ones appreciate a little effeminacy in men.

Finding the male partners into effeminacy seems a little harder, especially since I'm not young anymore.

Older more compassionate women looking for same, what an interesting turn of events since my dismal record with women in my younger days.

Seriously thinking of waxing my whole body and going after the senior ladies. Sure, they'll think it a little odd, but such a hardd body in a younger guy might sway them.

Oh, the imagination is a wonderful thing...

Will update as things change

[Nidaho Rachel (imported)]

Your not alone, I too hate having body hair. I understand your fear of being preserved as effeminate. I look forward to fall so I can go hairless once more! I too would have all my body hair removed if I won the lottery.

I'm lucky that I have found someone that excepts me as I am and me being gender fluid. She has no problem with me being body hair free. Like you it's my own fears that I have to get past.

[sftineun (imported)]

You're far from being alone. I have been shaving from the beard down to my toe hairs for decades. I draw a few looks at the gym, and a few remarks from some young ones who have never seen a shaved crotch. But even those remarks are more like amazement than negative. Like someone said earlier, if they have a problem with how we are shaved, it's they who are having a problem. It's our own body, and it's our own wishes to have them shaved. Between the gym showers and nude beaches, I certainly don't find myself the only one shaved. This is 2017. Our shaving doesn't affect anybody else. We should feel free to do what we want to our bodies and just be comfortable with it.

[april973 (imported)]

I too have been shaving my body for sometime. I have never had any confrontations or looks from it. I was wondering of those that do shave what they use on there scrotum's?

[JessicaH (imported)]

Honestly, it's rare that anyone would say anything even if they notice. My mom and brother are the only ones who ever mentioned it and asked any questions. All you ave to say is, "that's the way I prefer it". If they say that real men don't shave their legs, tell them that real men do what they want and don't care what others think.

[nutless1 (imported)]

I really like that approach, and would add, "It is none of your business!"

Honestly, it's rare that anyone would say anything even if they notice. My mom and brother are the only ones who ever mentioned it and asked any questions. All you ave to say is, "that's the way I prefer it". If they say that real men don't shave their legs, tell them that real men do what they want and don't care what others think.

[totallyhairless (imported)]

If it appeals, go for it! I have removed ALL of my hair for years (head, eyebrows, entire body) and never had any problems with adverse comments. I LOVE being hairless!