7 Degrees of Blonde

[Studlover (imported)]

7 degrees of Blonde

1st Degree

A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a moment,

and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."

2nd Degree

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the

sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror,

and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." She hands it to the second

blonde. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's

me!"

3rd Degree

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and

buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really

angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is

overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No honey, don't do it."

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

4th Degree

A blonde brags about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go

ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital

of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy: W."

5th Degree

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is

it mine?"

6th Degree

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she

managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch.

"Wow!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was

stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed

the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving

along this road when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front of

me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the

left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."

"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car,

"There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener

swinging back and forth."

7th Degree

Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she had been robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The

police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit

patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached

the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,

shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the

steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all

my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman!"