Sex has no appeal

[Tany Squirrel (imported)]

Begoneboy:

I used to have a very good male friend, years ago(God rest his soul). We used to start on one topic, wander off to others, then eventually wind back around to the original topic.. those conversations were over coffee and were the most enjoyable HOURS I have ever spent. There was nothing sexual about them, but always held me intrigued on how his mind worked. To me , it was truly attractive, a brilliant mind. He was not arrogant, nor self-absorbed, was kind and generous. always accommodating. Too few of those types these days, either male or female. I am glad that you are able to receive some sort of uplift hope your days continue on the same path

[bobbilee (imported)]

Not sure it matters what I think as I only think for me. While I do believe being bi-sexual is how we feel I'm not quite sure that equates to actual

gender as in Male, female or neither (eunuch). Mainly because in my opinion to be bi-sexual is not something that can be seen on the body

while male, female or neither (eunuch) can all be physically seen by other and oneself. Sure, male, female and neither can also be a feeling

but they are also physical medical terms. As in either one has a penis, vagina or neither can effect how a doctor would treat certain types

of illness where-as bisexual is not seen by a medical doctor for the purpose of treating physical illnesses other than perhaps STD type of

inflictions. In other words to my way of thinking to be bisexual is desire and we all know that desires can and often do change.

Where being eunuch is a physical fact that cannot be changed. IE; either the patient has a penis, vagina or neither during a medical

examination.

Begoneboy,

After reading my post and your reply, I just realized that my post/question was really pretty stupid. This is why sometimes reacting emotionally and not being patient in order to think things out analytically has been one of my intellectual faults. Nonetheless, you are quite a giving person here on EA and I enjoy communicating with you. bobbilee

[bobbilee (imported)]

Tanysquirrel,

being attracted to intellectually gifted people is called being "sapiosexual." The brain is supposed to be the biggest sex organ we have and this phenomenon is just such an example of that theory. I have always been attracted to smart people as well. My older brother (God rest his soul) was a brilliant chemist who loved to fish, play golf, tennis...and chess. I never beat him in chess. Similarly, but not quite up there, my best friends in college were a guy who got his Ph.D. in Economics, a guy who had two degrees in English and Philosophy and a guy who bought all the weed and quite the computer geek going back to school to learn to write code (how boring)...and this was in the mid-seventies. Personally, I have tried to learn Nietzche, Shopenhauer, etc. but my gray matter needs another squirrel to hop on the treadmill as this stuff just does NOT sink in.

[Begoneboy (imported)]

bobbilee:

" Quote Originally Posted by bobbilee

Begoneboy: do you think that when we say we are bisexual what this really means is that we are the "third sex" which is recognized in other countries like in India? I can identify with what you just wrote...i have said before to you that I like most everything you have written. I have been told by my shrink that I have a low testosterone count. This might explain why I obsess over big boobs but don't want to have sex with a woman because I like her boobs. Nor do I want to have sex with a guy because he is hung. I also value the sense of friendship, trust, spirituality, loyalty in a person before I hop into bed. I have not had sex with anybody since 2002 and the only thing I think about is getting castrated. I also feel like I am so different that I will always be alone. I do have hope this will not be the case a year from now. Rest assured EA folks, I'm not suicidal...just in need of a hug.

"

I don't think your post/question was stupid in any way. In my humble opinion the dumbest question is the one not asked. Yours was a sincere question and I have every respect for sincerity in all forms. Good, bad or indifferent. And reacting emotionally is something I equally respect. Especially when one later realizes that a response was emotion rather than well though out and has the ability to understand the difference. This is one of the capacities that make the human species superior to other animal species. Welcome to my world as the old antic went. Hee Heee Heeee! You happen to be on a bit of a roller coaster ride in your life judging from what you've posted on the forum and your private messages with me. Take a breath and don't let it bother you. Things most generally come to clarity with time in our lives. My clarity came once I was able to control the hormones racing within me. That control did not happen until I was able to decide for myself how to manage the two problematic hormones of "T" and "E" or lack of either. Once I was able to bring into check the "T" through castration I was then also able to have better control over the "E". Life has seen a HUGE improvement since then. Unfortunately nature is what it is so as long as we live in a social environment with others there will always be surprises we don't plan for. So a BIG hug your way as you feel you need one and I've never shied away from lending a hand for what is needed.

Best to you.

[Begoneboy (imported)]

Begoneboy:

I used to have a very good male friend, years ago(God rest his soul). We used to start on one topic, wander off to others, then eventually wind back around to the original topic.. those conversations were over coffee and were the most enjoyable HOURS I have ever spent. There was nothing sexual about them, but always held me intrigued on how his mind worked. To me , it was truly attractive, a brilliant mind. He was not arrogant, nor self-absorbed, was kind and generous. always accommodating. Too few of those types these days, either male or female. I am glad that you are able to receive some sort of uplift hope your days continue on the same path

Well Tany Squirrel you have had some wonderful moments from the sound of it. As have I and hopefully we'll both continue down that path. I've had and still have some wonderful friends on this third rock from the sun. I value those friendships even more than I value my own breath. I just returned one of those such friends to the airport for her to get back home and continue the drudge of making a living. In her 20s that is important where almost 60 much less so for me. I gave up chasing the dollar many MANY years ago. Or perhaps I simply realized at the time what was enough of that silly dollar to carry me through my own life. There are plenty who can never get enough of it or are never quite content with what they have and always want more. Life in this location is simple and doesn't require much so I am at home. Which allows me the privilege of coming and going as I please and sitting down with somebody for nothing more than a great conversation to be enjoyed like a fine wine or well brewed cup of aromatic boastful caffeine. It's pretty hard to improve on that.

Have a great day!

[bobbilee (imported)]

bobbilee:

" Quote Originally Posted by bobbilee

Begoneboy: do you think that when we say we are bisexual what this really means is that we are the "third sex" which is recognized in other countries like in India? I can identify with what you just wrote...i have said before to you that I like most everything you have written. I have been told by my shrink that I have a low testosterone count. This might explain why I obsess over big boobs but don't want to have sex with a woman because I like her boobs. Nor do I want to have sex with a guy because he is hung. I also value the sense of friendship, trust, spirituality, loyalty in a person before I hop into bed. I have not had sex with anybody since 2002 and the only thing I think about is getting castrated. I also feel like I am so different that I will always be alone. I do have hope this will not be the case a year from now. Rest assured EA fo

lks, I'm not suicidal...just in need of a hug.

"

I don't think your post/question was stupid in any way. In my humble opinion the dumbest question is the one not asked. Yours was a sincere question and I have every respect for sincerity in all forms. Good, bad or indifferent. And reacting emotionally is something I equally respect. Especially when one later realizes that a response was emotion rather than well though out and has the ability to understand the difference. This is one of the capacities that make the human species superior to other animal species. Welcome to my world as the old antic went. Hee Heee Heeee! You happen to be on a bit of a roller coaster ride in your life judging from what you've posted on the forum and your private messages with me. Take a breath and don't let it bother you. Things most generally come to clarity with time in our lives. My clarity came once I was able to control the hormones racing within me. That control did not happen until I was able to decide for myself how to manage the two problematic hormones of "T" and "E" or lack of either. Once I was able to bring into check the "T" through castration I was then also able to have better control over the "E". Life has seen a HUGE improvement since then. Unfortunately nature is what it is so as long as we live in a social environment with others there will always be surprises we don't plan for. So a BIG hug your way as you feel you need one and I've never shied aw

ay from lending a hand for what is needed.

Best to you.

THANK YOU...bobbilee

[poorpupnoballs (imported)]

For me, sex still has tons of appeal, but it has to be with the right girl. I recently went on a few dates with someone who by the third date thought we could just have sex, and I told her I wasn't ready. Because of not knowing her well enough, and my own body issues, I just wanted to wait a bit more. But, she lost interest in me after I wouldnt sleep with her. And as I age, I find it's getting harder and harder to meet people, because the people I share hobbies and interests with are in their twenties while I'll be 39 soon. I seem to be at that age where I'm waiting for marriages to end and suddenly I'm a catch for not being married or having kids or STDs. But I do sometimes wish I had no sex drive. I feel like if I had no distraction like that maybe I wouldn't feel sorrow over not being more sexually active, because I can't get the girls I want.

[Tany Squirrel (imported)]

Tanysquirrel,

being attracted to intellectually gifted people is called being "sapiosexual." The brain is supposed to be the biggest sex organ we have and this phenomenon is just such an example of that theory. I have always been attracted to smart people as well. My older brother (God rest his soul) was a brilliant chemist who loved to fish, play golf, tennis...and chess. I never beat him in chess. Similarly, but not quite up there, my best friends in college were a guy who got his Ph.D. in Economics, a guy who had two degrees in English and Philosophy and a guy who bought all the weed and quite the computer geek going back to school to learn to write code (how boring)...and this was in the mid-seventies. Personally, I have tried to learn Nietzche, Shopenhauer, etc. but my gray matter needs another squirrel to hop on the treadmill as this stuff just does NOT sink in.

hehe hehe this squirrel needs some excersise .

Didn't know about the sapiosexual thing. always good to learn new things! my best friend has PHD in astro-physics. I too love to play chess. I admire a brilliant mind, it sparkles like diamonds.

Too often, i think though, we don't give ourselves enough credence to our own intelligence. whether it be modesty or lack of self confidence. I try to keep my wits about me and my senses sharp, like needles

Never stop trying to learn, it is through the process of trying, we succeed.

[Tany Squirrel (imported)]

Well Tany Squirrel you have had some wonderful moments from the sound of it. As have I and hopefully we'll both continue down that path. I've had and still have some wonderful friends on this third rock from the sun. I value those friendships even more than I value my own breath. I just returned one of those such friends to the airport for her to get back home and continue the drudge of making a living. In her 20s that is important where almost 60 much less so for me. I gave up chasing the dollar many MANY years ago. Or perhaps I simply realized at the time what was enough of that silly dollar to carry me through my own life. There are plenty who can never get enough of it or are never quite content with what they have and always want more. Life in this location is simple and doesn't require much so I am at home. Which allows me the privilege of coming and going as I please and sitting down with somebody for nothing more than a great conversation to be enjoyed like a fine wine or well brewed cup of aromatic boastful caffeine. It's pretty hard to improve on that.

Have a great day!

I cant agree with you more. I have never been a monitary type of person. Yes i do work, Yes i do use money, but i have not value for it. i use it as needed, give it away as i feel. It is those moments of sharing time with a good friend, over a nice wine as you said or the lovely caffeine of coffee. It builds the bonds of friendship and tolerance that i think this world needs to imbibe in more often.

When we lose track of the true goals in life and are sidetracked by monetary or material possessions, the glimmer of life becomes that much more dull. The tarnish of mundane and drudgery tend to diminish those gleaming moments that are vibrant with happiness and fulfillment.

In all things, be joyful, for these fruits bear better results than the bitter fruits of resentment and discontent.

Have a great day ~

[Oyktiro1 (imported)]

Ive been really researching Asexuality.. I think I have watched every youtube video on it. I've been pretty active on asexuality.og. I have found my "definition" I am Asexual / Heteroromantic. I was considering Biromantic.. Because well it would be a non sexual relationship with a guy. But I gave it some thought and I just couldnt find myself comfortable cuddling with a guy. However I came across the term Squish.. A squish is someone who you have a strictly platonic relationship with.. It's not sexual and not quite romantic but they are this special friend.. I think If I met a guy who had the qualities that I look for in a girl I could have them as a squish.