Serious in Silicon Valley

[MikePalmer (imported)]

Greetings from Mike in Silicone Valley, been here on and off for many years and finally have discussed my desires to be a eunuch with my GP "Whooo" It takes balls "ones I wish I did not have" Glad I have taken the first steps and have another appointment this Tuesday to go over blood work and get a physical. I picked him because he specializes in transgenders, bisexuals and gay men. I am married and straight.

After talking with him about my obsessiveness with sexual thoughts "including castration" dislike of having a very masculine body, my distaste for testicles after maturing and the need to support them, my current condition of 2 hydroceles causing pain when sitting requiring surgery, and my love for wearing lingerie from age 8 and he thinks Spironolactone may be something to try while we get things worked out with a counselor.

I am hoping some here can help me choose the right path considering there are many to choose from. I have listed a few paths I have thought about and welcome everyone's opinion who has experience and would like to help. I have read a lot on the net but really value actual experience the best and think the EA is the best place to get advice.

1. Bilateral Orchi and start T injections. Adjust T as needed to feel best, Current T is low 300 ngdl, TRT would be affordable if injected and androgel if covered by insurance. Would cure hydroceles, pain and discomfort, visual appearance less masculine, no support needed and some lingerie would be more appealing. Unknown for sexual thoughts and body appearance "hair, skin, fat, breast?

2. Spironolactone and ?. Reduce excess thoughts and sex drive, shrink testicles, loose body hair/less masculine, possible shrink testicles, change emotions - or+? Breast -or+? If I am dysphoric may change my outlook. More androgen than male? - loose strength and ambition

3. SSRI, Paxil or ? Reduce excess thoughts and sex drive and possible the desires to become a eunuch would subside. Still need surgery for hydroceles and would have the physical discomfort of testicles plus a expected 6 month recovery with swelling of what I do not like today "big balls"

Love to know more about T injections as this seems very plausible for me. Especially if I can control my T low enough to eliminate excessive sexual thoughts and not loose strength. I am not sure what you loose first when reducing T, strength or sex drive?

Would I emotionally feel better less masculine with more feminine features that would overcome strength or depression issues?

This is not very easy to decide and I hope to get some great conversation going here at EA. Thanks in advance!

[Losethem (imported)]

Too bad I'm no longer in NorCal or I'd offer to stop by and discuss all this with you. I know it was great when I started meeting men who had gone before me so I could sort this stuff out among others who "get it."

You're in your 50's, so losing your balls at this point wouldn't be as difficult to get done as say someone who is around 20. The worst that will happen is you'll have to take testosterone after and things would work much the same as now. But after reading a few of your posts, it seems that's not the desired outcome. Without balls, you'd be able to control your testosterone though. So it could be worth pursuing.

I had my penectomy done (same spectrum as castration for these purposes), and it was done while I was living in California. I'd find a therapist who works with Transgender patients (who is not themselves transgender) and go from there. The one I had was great.

--LT

[MikePalmer (imported)]

Too bad I'm no longer in NorCal or I'd offer to stop by and discuss all this with you. I know it was great when I started meeting men who had gone before me so I could sort this stuff out among others who "get it."

You're in your 50's, so losing your balls at this point wouldn't be as difficult to get done as say someone who is around 20. The worst that will happen is you'll have to take testosterone after and things would work much the same as now. But after reading a few of your posts, it seems that's not the desired outcome. Without balls, you'd be able to control your testosterone though. So it could be worth pursuing.

I had my penectomy done (same spectrum as castration for these purposes), and it was done while I was living in California. I'd find a therapist who works with Transgender patients (who is not themselves transgender) and go from there. The one I had was great.

--LT

Thanks Lose-them, what you describe is the #1 scenario here. Ideally enough T to stay healthy and low enough to control my sexuality. The pain and discomfort would be delt with. I am hoping to talk to someone before any decisions. My counselor is not trans but specializes on LGBT etc. My MD also specializes in gay and bisexual men. He seems very knowledgeable. I see him again on Tuesday. Can you recommend guys here who are on T and have found the right amount in my age range. Since I have the need for hydrocele removal I am thinking the right urologist may consider castration. I am being totally honest with my GP about my desires and looking for good advice, not trying to convince anyone. Thanks, It would be great to chat some time.

[Begoneboy (imported)]

Mike, I seriously compliment you on seeking the correct medical help rather than like the so many who

attempt to do this themselves. You sound like you've given a lot of thought to the process and being

completely honest with your medical team is absolutely the best policy. That was my policy so many

years ago and have never regretted that path. Ask your team to explain more about the benefits of

TRT as well as some comparison to HRT (estrogens) as you seem to indicate you would like to reduce

the masculine traits. Not eliminate them but reduce them from what you've written. Small doses of both

replacement therapies may be what you're looking for. But again, ask your medical team to explain all

of the pros and cons of each so that you will be well informed for your decision making.

And again, HUGE congratulations on seeking the proper medical professionals to help

you travel down this journey.

[DonnyMac (imported)]

Mike, the key to me was my wife's support. We started with a chemical castration trial monitored by our doctor for mismatched libido Several times I would have quit during the first year without my wife's support. I also saw a therapist for about ten months to help with emotional issues. Was a quite a mental adjustment going from a somewhat alpha male to eunuch. This again is where my wife gave great support. We also involved our doctor who gave me all the needed tests. Was weird having three womken (therapist, doctor, wife) evaluating my libido levels but in the end everything worked out well.

Saved our marriage.

[Hash (imported)]

DonnieMac, I'm not sure it was weird having three women involved in your becoming a eunuch, in fact, it probably helped. In some way I believe these women probably thought that becoming a eunuch was best for you. Who knows what they were thinking. If you were an alpha male and doing what they do sexually speaking, then these women must have thought you needed to become a eunuch or that you'd be better for your wife as a eunuch.

[Losethem (imported)]

Mike, the key to me was my wife's support. We started with a chemical castration trial monitored by our doctor for mismatched libido Several times I would have quit during the first year without my wife's support. I also saw a therapist for about ten months to help with emotional issues. Was a quite a mental adjustment going from a somewhat alpha male to eunuch. This again is where my wife

was a great support. W

also involved our doctor who gave me all the needed tests. Was weird having three women (therapist, doctor, wife) evaluating my libido levels but in the end everything worked out well.

Saved our marriage.

I think you're exactly the eunuch MikePalmer needs to hear from. My nullification was because I desired to be smooth, but remain otherwise male, with all the male things that go with it (sex drive, etc.). His situation sounds more like yours than it does mine. Regardless I'm supportive of people seeking these changes as long as they are sincere, and understand what's coming as best they can before they go through with it. Exactly what MikePalmer is doing.

I wish I had more time available on my upcomming NorCal visit, I'd have enjoyed getting together with him for lunch or something.

[MikePalmer (imported)]

This is the exact reason I have decided to use EA. Years ago it was not that good and a lot of wannabys and other sexual only interest. Now there is so much more legitimate information available. I have an appointment tomorrow and will ask. I have not seen the counselor he has recommended yet. I just enabled PM,s I forgot they are not instant messaging and had them off.

[MikePalmer (imported)]

Losethem, I have enabled PM and would love to hear more. I thought is was a IM and I did not want that. Not that I want to be a shemale, but I think a castrated male with average flaccid penis is real nice. Hairless of course. I just want to find the right thing for me.

[Losethem (imported)]

If you wish, you may PM me directly. Keep in mind it's more like a site e-mail than it is instant messaging. I'll read and respond eventually.