Spouse's Opinions Please

[bobbilee (imported)]

BiBiker you have hit on the question of all times. And a great question that few if any ask. Living alone after divorce for many years

I finally found that sort of a relationship with who I am now a spouse. Granted, the situation differs from yours but not as much as you

may think. If you've read my intro I've shared a good bit and have nothing to hide. I am thankful for a forum such as this to share and hopefully

help others. Back to the story. At any rate meeting somebody and falling in love after castration can be a bit touchy to say the least. While on

the outside I do present rather female there is no such anatomy. So you can begin to imagine the similarities to your situation. He had some

physical trauma leaving him unable to have an erection from military service. I have no vagina. Hence, the many similarities to your situation.

He still is otherwise intact and no doubt produces an excess amount of testosterone. Naturally that can become rather pent up in many ways.

Since I am totally nullo there isn't much "T" on my end and I substitute the "T" with "E". He rather enjoys the intimacy and closeness without

ever having the need to perform actual sex which for him is all but impossible. That has made our relationship built on so many other levels

than physical urge that it just seems to get richer and richer as each year passes by.

He actually met me prior to my castration and was a big support during it all. Your wife could well be that same support if the relationship.

We've been together for over 25 years and it only seems like a few months at times. I often wish he had less aggression as you are looking

for with castration.

We were not married prior to my castration since the law would not permit it back then. Although afterwards we were able to buy a marriage

license which we did and have enjoyed the legal benefits of marriage since. We share many things, ideas and goals in life and enjoy so many

of the same things. So communication with your BFF about the situation and possible solution may well bring rewards beyond imagination.

But that (communication thing) is the secret to success. Without it, everything may be for nothing. If your relationship (other than sex) is

as close as you mention speak with her about it honestly and frankly in order to open the next step and hopefully to continued happiness.

Let her know the reasons and share the experience from beginning to end. And of course, if you desire additional insight as from my experience

I'm happy to share.

May I ask you if your sex drive is better since being castrated and on estrogen? I refer simply to oral sex and your desire to suck your husband more...

[Begoneboy (imported)]

May I ask you if your sex drive is better since being castrated and on estrogen? I refer simply to oral sex and your desire to suck your husband more...

Bobbilee: Also a good question. Great questions are always pleasant because it demonstrates honest thinking.

Immediately after having all the male organs removed was liberating besides the recovery time. But to answer your question in a word

(YES)! My personal sex drive has improved on many levels. So it ends up whether we're speaking of my pleasure or giving him pleasure.

Because they can and are on both levels. It's not necessary to (using your words "suck him more") for both of us to enjoy complete pleasure.

90% of sex drive is the building up to climax in either person. For me giving oral sex doesn't make me climax since my mind is then concentrating

on the action at hand or mouth so to speak. It can and does effect climax for him. My climax results from stimulation the prostate as is the case in

all men castrated or not. However, without anything dangling between my legs the simple soft touch down there produces sensual feeling that go

all the way up to the prostate. Which with tenderness begins to throb deep inside my groin. I suspect that the estrogen that I take plays a huge

roll in that outcome since it makes all of my skin more tender and supple to the touch in my case. But then again I take a much higher dose of

estrogen than a man would take if he wasn't interested in the feminization of himself. Just enough estrogen to prevent bones becoming brittle

and stave off hot flashes is all that a man needs. In my case, oral sex is foreplay for both him and myself as I anticipate what will follow inside me.

I hope this brings just a little clarification to your question.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Yes, we eat a mostly Asian -high fiber, much fruit & veg, less meat.

We exercise -kayak, dance, swim, cycle, walk, some walking golf.

I had to be "done" for medical reasons, and my wife was with me when it was done. She was and is very supportive.

Early on, I needed to be without T until medically advised that I had probably dodged the bullet. I am now down to yearly checkups. (Hurrah!)

At that time, I had the hot flashes which didn't start until about two months after the pruning. They tapered off after only about 6 months, and otherwise I felt surprisingly well. No depression, some 10 lb gain in weight, and a more easy and cheerful disposition though no erections. Their absence didn't trouble me, and it was interesting to see the penis shrink considerably. Never felt female, and never wanted E.

Did my wife abandon her eunuch? Not at all, in fact she has been supportive and interested in the changes, though I think she feels better that the adventure is hopefully over.

Eventually, the doc advised return of T, and with it erections returned and after maybe 6 months of T, penis size was something like before, and a sex life returned, though as we are older and closer, it isn't as important as when we were younger. Bones and everything have always been good on the checkups. I seem to make virtually no T myself.

Related, but maybe just a little off the question asked, is that she is aware that many who become nutless for various reasons, later seem to get thoughts of wanting further surgery, even if there was no wish for it before. Have there been times we have discussed turning me into a fine old made-in-Thailand nullo? Yes, and we are financially and otherwise able to make it happen. We have even been as far as planning the details of exactly what would be done. (Removal of all, including internal penis, urine reroute a couple of inches in front of the anus, and hiding of the original site of the penis.) But it is late in life and I suspect that on balance, it will not happen. If I really wanted it, I am sure that she would be every bit as supportive as before, though I know it is not currently her preference. If I was to be an old nullo, I suspect that we would find many ways to satisfy each other, this time having to be more inventive!

[Begoneboy (imported)]

BiBiker: "

Please share your intro as I have not seen it. I checked your profile but it was limited info

"

Take a look at the thread history effects us.

Perhaps that will do better than the introduction or profile.

This forum has been and looks to continue to be a cool place for myself.

Thanks to all for allowing my ramblings and sharing.

[MikePalmer (imported)]

My wife loves how much more inventive I am towards her and satisfying her needs than beforehand. I used to be a lot more set on my own gratification than I am now.

"satisfying her needs than beforehand.

" this is a real benefit. Sounds like good balance. When I was younger it was all about me but as the years go by I have spent more time trying to become sensual rather than sexual.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

It takes two to tango. While I am sure that I am as inventive as many here, I also know that right now she wants me as a eunuch, but is not keen on having me as a nullo, dicked and rerouted. Inventive, maybe, but the feelings of the partner are also so important. Careful how you go!

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Today, I just posted about the ability of the eunuch to choose with T just where he wants to be between M and E.

My roomie knows that passing birthdays as well as T affect penetrative sex, and ED.

She finds this less important than the relationship, as time goes by. This seems much as it is in other households....

But there is a paradox: on full T there are times, in a heartbeat, I would like to take her to Thailand and get me expertly dicked and rerouted. She has always supported me through all previous surgeries, and knows that on occasion I have these unusual wishes. My hope is that in the event, she'd nurse the recovery of a fine old nullo, who'd be probably ever closer to her after this adventure. I suspect that it will probably never actually happen.

On no T, I have less such thoughts and wishes. We must be so careful what we wish for, particularly knowing what guides our choices.

Does T really drive these wishes? One might think that it should do the opposite?

(At least one here has expressed the opinion that it is only a matter of time before I join the ranks of the nullo here, maybe regardless of the T.) How much of who we are is our nature, and how much the environment?

On or off T, I am still sure that these matters must be shared with the partner, and so much has to be considered, whatever the plans. Life is about our relationships with those we care about.

[davidballs (imported)]

this reply is to all who have posted on this topic. another perspective along with a questiion i wish to know others views on. ifyou read my earlier posts seeing that wwhile i have smalll testis due to trauma an infection i do not produce any T. Sexuality was and is importaNT TO me. i guess my mind soul is wired that way. no never been promiscious, never cheated an married the one i had a physcial relationship with. but i enjoy sexuality, just the feeling of being horny. when i T was low in mind I missed wanted what was not there. Yes, before starting injections I was as close emotionaly being female for a male that you can get. very emotional, cried easily if my feelings were, my breasts did grow some not a lot but puffy and remain that way now. now i jackoff lots because she has no interest sex and I caan understand that so i pleasure myself. is it selfish of me to stay on injectio0ns becaause i like feeling horny and jacking off when we could be more like girlfriends close due to when I didnt take T I was ihnterested in femiine things the usual things , one time i even began needle point and enjoyed it. so is it selfish for me to want to remaiin more male than femaile just to satisfy the erotic part of my mind?

[nutless1 (imported)]

It seems to me this question and decision is purely personal, and the answer should arise from your values and priority for your life and the current point you find yourself within that highly personal value and priority system framework. You must decide what is the best course for yourself currently toward finding and achieving happiness, and your decision today may evolve and change at any point in the future that you alone determine that you are no longer experiencing happiness on your current path.

Only you can determine what is selfish and selfless for any given situation in your life, and especially in a personal relationship, after considering the true feeling and desires of the other person, and your own true feelings and desires, and determining the likely outcome or result for acting in the manner in which you respond, given the feelings and desires of your partner and yourself. From a purely relationship standpoint, it seems the choice is to determine whether you place more value and priority on the feelings and desires of the other person or yourself to achieve happiness, whatever happiness means to you within the relationship context.

No other person outside the relationship cannot and should not tell you what is selfish or selfless for your relationship, simply because any other person is not a part(ner) within the relationship..

Communication and meditation upon the communication result is the key and path toward an answer to your question. That is what self-respondibility--the ability for one to respond to any given situation and question within the situation. Any other path is one's way to create excuse and blame to avoid self-responsibility for an outcome within the personal relationship.

this reply is to all who have posted on this topic. another perspective along with a questiion i wish to know others views on. ifyou read my earlier posts seeing that wwhile i have smalll testis due to trauma an infection i do not produce any T. Sexuality was and is importaNT TO me. i guess my mind soul is wired that way. no never been promiscious, never cheated an married the one i had a physcial relationship with. but i enjoy sexuality, just the feeling of being horny. when i T was low in mind I missed wanted what was not there. Yes, before starting injections I was as close emotionaly being female for a male that you can get. very emotional, cried easily if my feelings were, my breasts did grow some not a lot but puffy and remain that way now. now i jackoff lots because she has no interest sex and I caan understand that so i pleasure myself. is it selfish of me to stay on injectio0ns becaause i like feeling horny and jacking off when we could be more like girlfriends close due to when I didnt take T I was ihnterested in femiine things the usual things , one time i even began needle point and enjoyed it. so is it selfish for me to want to remaiin more male than femaile just to satisfy the erotic part of my mind?