My introduction, and my needs

[AlexX4444 (imported)]

Hello,

to be honest, I am not really sure if I belong here. Well, I guess this is why I post in this section of the forum

I've had fantasies about chastity, not being able/allowed to cum, sex being permanently forbidden for me etc. for as long as I can remember. At the same time, even though I am into girls, I never had the desire to actually penetrate them. The whole act of me fucking their pussies just never "clicked" with me. As a result, attempts at penetration felt forced and tense, and it wasn't pleasurable.

Initially I was thinking that perhaps it is because of too much masturbation. But the thing is, even if you jerk off too much, your phantasies would be revolving around fucking girls etc. if you really were into it, right? Instead, the only thing that turns me on is the idea of (permanent) chastity and celibacy, as weird and paradoxical as this may sound.

So I decided to give chastity a try. I started with a CB-6000, later a CB-6000s because I have a small penis. I kinda liked it, but the device made cleaning very difficult, and it wasn't all that comfortable. So I moved on to a steel device - a Queen's Keep from Mature Metal. I wore this one for a week (not longer, because the skin wasn't yet used to constant contact with the metal and there were sore spots). What surprised me was how easy it was for me to reach 7 days. I've read that in most cases, men have difficulty reaching even 1 full day.. In fact, I think I could have done 2 weeks if my skin were more accustomed to the device.

During the chastity period, I did squirm in frustration sometimes, but most of the time I actually was thinking more about how great it was to be chaste and sexless. There was the pent up arousal in the background of course, but I felt strangely ... calm. I was seriously contemplating how it would be if I kept it on for a month, or even longer, perhaps even forever. At no point did I have desires to fuck a girl. And even after 7 days, when I knew I had to take it off to let the skin recover, a big part of me still wanted to keep it on. I am now wearing it again, and this time I want to reach 2 weeks.

On top of that, I have a big interest in feminizing myself. I like to retain a rather androgynous look. I keep my body hairless from the neck down with hot wax (that is, *everything*, arms, armpits, legs, torso, pubic hair, buttcrack etc.) since I love the smooth hairless skin. I prefer to wear my hair long, but try to shave my beard every day since I do not like having a beard. I also started to have my fingernails and toe nails mani/pedicured again. And at home, I like to be either naked, or wear some female clothing. I do not view myself as transgender, and more as an androgynous person leaning more towards the feminine side. To add to that, I have a rather small penis, and I actually like that it is small - I certainly would not ever want to have a big one.

However, I have zero interest in getting rid of my penis or balls. I want to continue being chaste, and have big interests in keeping myself a sexless virgin forever. I love the torment that the cage gives me because of the pent up arousal, and I also love how my little penis looks like when it is caged.

So, I am unsure about what I really am. I like to think that mentally, I am rather a eunuch, and this is the gender type that resonates most with me. But of course the pent-up arousal completely contradicts the "classical" definition of a eunuch. Still, I want to remain chaste, celibate, sexless forever, and never lose my virginity. So am I a eunuch, "sort of a eunuch", or something else?

I also put "straight" in my profile because I do like girls, but perhaps "asexual" would be better ... what do you think?

(Oh, and my interests in chastity and celibacy have absolutely no religious background. I am not a religious person at all.)

[eafictionwriter (imported)]

Get into a submissive relationship with a female, this will satisfy your needs.

[AlexX4444 (imported)]

Yes, I think so too. But this is only part of my question. The other one is about what I really am.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

It sounds like you desire to be forcibly feminized but to remain a dominated, caged up male with all his male parts rendered useless and off limits by a master, either a male or female master. You enjoy your masculinity being forcably denied, caged, repressed, and feminized. Try some femdom porn and see if it turns you on. Or if a male feminizing another male turns you on. You sound like you enjoy being male and seeing your sex organs caged up and denied a normal male s use and enjoyment of them. Having frustrated male sex organs to control and dominate. The feminization is more like sissyfication of a male, not being a female. A complicated fetish, but likely pretty common in a lot of men who like being men and sexually men. Just one guy s amateur guess.

[AlexX4444 (imported)]

It sounds like you desire to be forcibly feminized but to remain a dominated, caged up male with all his male parts rendered useless and off limits by a master, either a male or female master. You enjoy your masculinity being forcably denied, caged, repressed, and feminized. Try some femdom porn and see if it turns you on. Or if a male feminizing another male turns you on. You sound like you enjoy being male and seeing your sex organs caged up and denied a normal male s use and enjoyment of them. Having frustrated male sex organs to control and dominate. The feminization is more like sissyfication of a male, not being a female. A complicated fetish, but likely pretty common in a lot of men who like being men and sexually men. Just one guy s amateur guess.

Hmm, I think you are 100% correct about me enjoying my sex organs and my masculine sexuality being denied, caged, repressed. The male organs having been rendered useless and off limits, totally inaccessible to me. It excites me to no end if I am forced to remain chaste and without any way to get release or pleasure.

As for the rest, I think you are close, but I never really had a big attachment to my male nature, so "remaining a male" is not accurate I think. I prefer female aesthetics, female behavior, and in fact did not ever want to "emphasize" my masculinity. By that I mean that I absolutely never liked having body hair, never wanted to be "big" (as in: highly muscular), nowadays try to shave everyday because I also never liked having a beard, very much dislike the "bro" attitude, never bothered trying to explicitely act "manly" around women, and when it comes to sexual fantasies, I never ever saw myself in the active role. If we lived in some dream world where bodies can be morphed in any way imaginable, I'd have mine morphed to look 100% female, with an attractive figure, perky breasts, nice hairless skin (except for the head of course, there I'd like thick voluminous black hair), very pretty face (this is the most important part), but still a small penis that is permanently caged. As said, I absolutely love the torment of being aroused, but not being able to get release. This fits the "

denied a normal male s use and enjoyment of them

" description, yeah.

So, I agree, not really a "normal" female, more like a T-girl or very feminine sissy who enjoys repressing her male sexuality and the resulting torment and frustration.

I enjoy porn and stories (usually I prefer stories) where the protagonist lives as a girl, but has a caged penis, and everybody expects her to not even think about begging for release or about whining and whimpering - she has to keep the frustation to herself, in silence. Tormented inside, well-behaved outside. Permanent chastity is considered "good behavior" for her, and is expected by the people around her, or perhaps by the entire society. Her wearing the cage perpetually is considered the normal state as it always should be without exception.

I found this story (https://www.literotica.com/s/hass-girls-ch-01) that contains some parts vaguely like this. Look for this text: "Cassidy clicked her tongue" (it is somewhere in the middle of the page). From that point, read the next 6-7 paragraphs. The rest wasn't for me, but these bits about Cassidy I find very hot.

Another story is this one (https://www.literotica.com/s/beer-and-pussybois). Here, the protagonist mentions that she has to wear a cage, but nobody tries to unlock it, nor does she beg for it - it is just expected that it is on 24/7.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

Thanks, I m really rewarded that you liked my amateur answer here. Isn t it interesting how talking to people about this and reading their ideas and desires helps you narrow down and better understand and define what you want. Like tasting different foods to decide what you want to eat the most. It sounds like you ll enjoy this website and lots of the archive stories. The men on here cover lots of differing wants and ideas you ll enjoy and learn a lot from reading.