Considering surgery, physical question for those who've had this done.

[Varys2013 (imported)]

Hey all. I'm considering surgical orchiectomy as a result of recurring highly aggressive prostate cancer. It's looking like I'm likely to be on testosterone suppression for the rest of my life if the numbers continue the way they are right now. My situation would not favor intermittent hormone suppression, nor would it be prudent to wait long before starting it. Mine's very likely to metastasize much sooner than most.

I was chemically castrated for three years already, so I know what it is like to live as a eunuch (with many of the side effects of no testosterone). That ended a little over a year ago, and my PSA has been rising since. If necessary, the next step for me will be immediate and continuous testosterone suppression somehow. To avoid some of the drug side effects I'm strongly favoring surgical orchiectomy. I've long thought about that anyway, and have experimented with different temporary ways of imitating it.

For those who've had their testicles removed, what is it like to live without them? Maybe this is weird, but I'm aware of mine a lot. I like to sort of move them a little with the cremaster muscles, and am used to that sensation. If you have them removed, some of the cord is left in place. Is there any sensation from that? Do you still feel the cords, do the cremaster muscles still do something?

Related, if I do go ahead with this, I want a nice clean aesthetic result. I don't want lumpy cords left, nor a frankenscar. Would it be considered weird to discuss that with a urologist who would do such a surgery? I think I'll just talk to the doc anyawy and say what I would like to have happen, because I just want it.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts you folks might have. This is only now starting to become rather real. It may happen within the next three to six months.

[sparkey49 (imported)]

I would talk to a doctor or more than one there should be no reason from what you have described that they wouldn't do it I know a guy with same scenario and they removed his.

[nutless1 (imported)]

My experience with the cord after surgery is that a hematoma formed, which I was told would dissolve in 3 to 6 months, and it was gone within 3 months. I could feel any remaining cord only if I felt for it high in my scrotum. Now I can not feel any trace of the cord.

Have you considered prosthesis be implanted in your scrotumwhen you have your testicle removal surgery? I have no idea if unattached prosthesis will give you the sensations you now enjouy, but who knows, you may discover something even more enjoyable.

Discuss openly with your doctor your concerns prior to surgery, as it no doubt will have some impact on your psychological and emotion state, as well as the physical considerations you raise.

Best wishes on your surgery, prostate and overall condition!

[Begoneboy (imported)]

A stage four cancer survivor myself (mine was sinus) don't mess around.

Speak frankly with all your health care providers and share each and every concern

with them in order to be properly addressed. This is not something to fool around with.

You actually will gradually forget the testes were there. I cannot speak towards having the scrotum

since mine was removed at the same time so others on the forum would have better experiences

to relate with you. But the point being, no matter lumpy chords or whatever. Don't mess around with

the big "C"

[Losethem (imported)]

This may not be the typical answer, but I think it is a good one.

After a while you won't remember what it's like to have had testicles, it will just be how your body is. You won't think of it any more then than you do now.

[eab221 (imported)]

I understand your situation. I had leukemia at 18 and needed a bone marrow transplant. I know both the fear of cancer and the fear of having it return. I also know the feeling of wanting to live as normal life as possible. For leukemia could hide in the testicles so they irradiated them a bit more then the rest of me, although they did shower me with radiation. This was when I was 18.

I made it through and by the time I was in my 20s I had realized I was gay and had a desire to become a nullo. I fulfilled that dream a few months ago. I have no penis or balls or sack. I understand this is not your desire but I am mentioning this as I am not on testosterone. I am still horny, less then before but still have sexual desires and still get off. Some people will say about depression or loss of energy. I have not had any of those symptoms. I still travel the world and hike and scuba all over. Everyone reacts differently but I want to let you know I reacted fine. I also started dating and it is going well. Even as a nullo I can get off and enhoy it.

Cancer can force ones hand into a direction they never thought it would take, and changes our bodies in ways we dont want (for me lots of scars) but you can get through it. It is hard, painful, and to be frank it sucks. But you can get through it. If you want to talk more please feel free to PM me.

One thing I forgot to mention was my physicians knew my treatment would impair my ability to have children and to combat that they had me freeze sperm. If you feel you would want children I recomend you talk to your physican about that before things continue.

[Varys2013 (imported)]

Wow, thanks everyone - this is a uniquely knowledgeable and helpful group! You "guys" are great (somehow, the quotes seem appropriate there, hope it's not offensive to anyone, I put it in quotes when referring to myself while I was a chemical eunuch).

Thanks for the affirmation, and the advice to be open and direct. I worry too much about what others think, and need to get past that. My cancer efforts have been quite aggressive, and I have no intention of slacking off. I've been pushing my oncologist, following the PSA numbers closely with intent to act as soon as we have confirmation of recurrence. Mentally I wouldn't be able to live with a "wait and see" approach. I have to push, it's in my nature. That's why I'm exploring this now, and while optimistic I still expect to see recurrence called sometime yet this year based on the present trends. My case is highly aggressive, about as high as it gets (Gleason 9, 5+4), stage 3 when diagnosed, so a good long term outcome is not at all assured, nor even likely. (stats say about a 50% shot at 10 years). Still, I'm going to give it all I can!

I'm already a grandfather, so fertility isn't a concern fortunately. My wife's well past menopause and now has no more sexual interest than I did when I was chemically castrated. As a result our sex life is pretty much non-existent. For me to get back to the eunuch life will really put us back on the same page and be easier for both of us. In a way I'm actually looking forward to that. Libido for me now is just a source of frustration. I would actually welcome the cessation of sexual thoughts and interests, which was my experience during 3 years as a eunuch already (no ability, and no interest).

I can see that forgetting the boys were ever there could be a natural outcome; that's most encouraging. Frankly, they're only the size of medium jelly beans anyway, never having recovered much size since stopping the chemical castration. They firmed back up, but didn't enlarge. Anyway, I'm glad to hear that, and appreciate the perspective from people that know what they're talking about. I've read that people who have bad reactions to surgical castration are ones who desperately wanted to avoid that outcome, quite natural for most men. However, for those to whom it was a welcome option, they're usually quite pleased with the result. I believe I'm definitely in the 2nd group!

A couple of specific questions, if y'all don't mind?

Begoneboy -- I've read about scrotum reduction or removal too. Was that part of the original surgery, or a follow up? I've kind of considered that too, not having a floppy leftover bag sounds attractive. Maybe it will shrink over time anyway. Not a big deal, but the removal sounds like it's in the arena of a plastic surgeon more than a urologist. Maybe insurance would help if part of the orchiectomy, but doing it later would definitely be elective cosmetic surgery.

eab221 - the idea of being a nullo has always been interesting though it's a rather uncommon decision. I'm impressed you followed through on that. Do you have a blog or something about your journey? This would be exceedingly difficult to explain or defend to my wife unless it was somehow medically necessary, definitely too "out there" to even discuss with her! After surgical castration, my little guy will wither even smaller than he already has after being medically castrated for 3 years (lost about 1/3 of length and maybe half of thickness). So, what's left won't be useful for anything but urination, with no sexual component whatsoever. My wife certainly doesn't do, and won't be doing, anything with it anymore. Still, there's a simple convenience to "outdoor plumbing" even without the sexual aspect. Those few nullo photos I've ever seen seem to indicate they're very pleased with the results; few of those are available, rarely posted anywhere. That would take some pondering...

[Begoneboy (imported)]

"

Begoneboy -- I've read about scrotum reduction or removal too. Was that part of the original surgery, or a follow up? I've kind of considered that too, not having a floppy leftover bag sounds attractive. Maybe it will shrink over time anyway. Not a big deal, but the removal sounds like it's in the arena of a plastic surgeon more than a urologist. Maybe insurance would help if part of the orchiectomy, but doing it later would definitely be elective cosmetic surgery.

"

Varys2013: in my case it was all done at one time. Since there was no insurance involved it required no effort other than bringing money.

Having it all removed at one time was done by a doctor in Tijuana, Mexico who really had no problems with performing whatever surgery was

desired. As I didn't want a vagina and still wanted to keep the prostate intact it was all pretty much an external surgery from the standpoint of not needing to open up the body cavity which is much more involved and would have required additional time in preparation as in several blood draws in case a transfusion would have been needed during the procedure. So I am very smooth from front to back as you run a gentle hand and follow the curve. We had talked about this and all of the options prior to coming to an agreement on what was to be done. He actually slid the urethra into it's new position so that when I pee it only goes down in the direction of gravity. Naturally since it was/is still part of the internal working I can still be aroused and indeed ejaculate. Mind you that ejaculation isn't what you may be accustomed to. Rather it is more of a warm sensual feeling throughout the groin region extending up front and back practically to the small of my back. As the prostate sits deep inside it also reverberates sensation throughout the inside of the cavity. And the fluid ejaculated is warm water-like with a slight creamy texture to it. But nothing like what leaves a stimulated penis. In the end it was all a good experience in my case and I have lived a life of bliss since.

[Varys2013 (imported)]

Begoneboy, thanks for sharing your personal situation. It sounds like you have found a beautiful state of being. Perhaps many would not understand, maybe most. You seem to reach out openly to many here, and sound like a very supportive person. I hope you have people in your life who reciprocate that.

I'm becoming comfortable with a eunuch future, and I know one friend who was surgically castrated though he chose prosthetic replacements. I'd like less, a smoother result. Most of the eunuch folks I've associated with were chemically castrated, as was I. I know what that hormonal state feels like. I'm anticipating the physical state with some, shall I say even eagerness?

This forum is fascinating, and helpful. I've never found anyone anywhere with whom I could talk about such things. No one. I hope my honest interests are received as such, since there's just nowhere else to go explore this. Thanks to all who comment; this is a unique group!

[Begoneboy (imported)]

"

You seem to reach out openly to many here, and sound like a very supportive person. I hope you have people in your life who reciprocate that.

"

Varys: Thank you for the kind words. From my stand point most finding themselves in the quandary of thinking about or want to or not sure what to do in these regards want simply real life true experiences to read and ponder during all of the reflection that takes place before making such a huge plunge. While my story is/was and continues to be perfect for me it is not for everybody. We are each the only ones responsible for our decisions and actions being the only ones accountable for what we do.

Continue getting comfortable and consider very carefully the journey you are about to embark on. And my very best advice is to find

a doctor to help with the travel as there are so many points of interest to visit on the way to our destination. For me the journey has been the excitement rather than the destination as I am still en-route.