"The boy acts like a typical five-year-old."

[Atreyu69 (imported)]

For starters let's get this much straight. This story is a tragedy of the first order. In no way would I ever minimize the unparalleled cruelty visited on an innocent kid.

However I really object to the caption that reads, "The boy acts like a typical five-year-old." It implies that Holden's happiness is an "act", that it isn't genuine. It implies that he isn't an actual "typical five-year-old." It suggests that he isn't well adjusted but only putting on a brave face.

Why couldn't they report that Holden is a happy well adjusted boy who's going to require some cosmetic surgery when he's older.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... s-old.html

http://www.yourhoustonnews.com/pasadena ... 204cc.html

http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas ... 685676.php

[C&TL2745 (imported)]

"....

Why couldn't they report that Holden is a happy well adjusted boy who's going to require some cosmetic surgery when he's older.....

There's an old newspaper adage: "If it bleeds it leads." The news almost always overdramatizes what it reports, emphasizing the elements of the story that tug at your emotions. You never see a headline that reads, "It was a beautiful day today, and 99.7% of the population just got on with their lives as usual." You don't sell papers (or Web hits) that way.

Sandi

[Atreyu69 (imported)]

There's an old newspaper adage: "If it bleeds it leads." The news almost always overdramatizes what it reports, emphasizing the elements of the story that tug at your emotions. You never see a headline that reads, "It was a beautiful day today, and 99.7% of the population just got on with their lives as usual." You don't sell papers (or Web hits) that way.

Sandi

Holden's foster mother says that they're approaching this as if it was the loss of any body part such as a hand or a foot. She feels it's an injury but nothing to be ashamed of and nothing that will prevent a full and happy life. I hope she's right and that Holden will come to see it as such. But his foster mom has never been a boy so I'm not so sure she know's how to relate to castration or what a boy's feelings about being a eunuch might be. If I was a nullified boy I really don't think I'd want everyone who reads the newspapers to know I was neutered. I'd let my closest friends know but no one else.

[Paolo]

Sandi's right - if it bleeds, it leads.

I remember this story when it first broke, and how they went so far as to describe Holden's groin area as looking like the bend at your inner elbow (paraphrase).

I also recall thinking, and still do, why the hell is this all over the news? What about this kid's privacy? Everyone is going to remember a name like this and know all about his condition, which I feel is simply wrong.

[Atreyu69 (imported)]

If the state of the art will provide for realistic and natural looking reconstructed genitals than the surgery should be paid for by insurance and not a bake-sale. If insurance won't pay than the Mayo Clinic, or St. Jude's, or some other organization known for philanthropy should do the work pro bono and privately to insure the anonymity of the little boy.

But having said that, if I was in that situation and the surgery was only cosmetic and the results unconvincing I'd probably decline it even if it was free. It's not that I want to be a nullo, I don't, but if my stuff was lost through an accident I don't think I'd bother to have it replaced with something that didn't work and didn't look right.

As for the little boy in question, I hope someone has explained to him that he doesn't need genitals to be a boy and that not having them doesn't mean he's in any way inferior or less than his friends.

[bobone55 (imported)]

I think it's just an assumption based the fact that his mother is a psycho who mutilated him, that stuff doesn't just bounce off people, it affects people deeply for the rest of their lives. Also for most men and boys, losing their testicles is a life-shattering event, and at such an early stage in life will change him in many ways. He could be impotent, he'll never have children, he might not grow up properly if he doesn't have access to hormones to go through puberty, not to mention the shame and bullying, this *is* a news story that is on the internet forever, something that could easily haunt him for life, it's not a private secret.

I think people here to want to undergo castration or have are projecting their feelings about it onto other people, what brings happiness to some here, would cause some men to kill themselves, and is possibly the worst thing that could happen to them.

[Atreyu69 (imported)]

Also for most men and boys, losing their testicles is a life-shattering event, and at such an early stage in life will change him in many ways. He could be impotent, he'll never have children, he might not grow up properly if he doesn't have access to hormones to go through puberty, not to mention the shame and bullying, this *is* a news story that is on the internet forever, something that could easily haunt him for life, it's not a private secret.

That cuts to the heart of the matter. How central are our genitals, and our sexual functions, to our identities and sense of self-respect? It's a question that I can't answer. But here's another question, if there was a nullified boy who was a part of your life such as a nephew, or next-door neighbor, or the child of a close friend, how would you feel about him? Would you pity him, or expect him to have some deep-seated emotional problems? Would you consider him a "special-needs child? Would you be more lenient with him if he misbehaved? Are there certain subjects that you'd avoid talking about with him? Would you think of him as something other than male? Or would you treat him just the same as you would any other boy his age?

I'd like to think I'd treat him as I would any other kid, but I can't be sure about that. Like other people on this board I consider myself openminded. But what prejudices do we carry around without even knowing it?

[Atreyu69 (imported)]

I hope the boy is doing well.

[Atreyu69 (imported)]

I don't know why but my mind keeps returning to this story. If I was a boy (nullo) and in that situation I'd opt for the restorative surgery only if the appearance and function were identical to a boy who was never cut in the first place. But we know this isn't possible. At best the surgery would be nonfunctional "window dressing."

Considering that I think I'd just choose to remain a nullo and live my life as any other boy. From transgender kids we know that it isn't the plumbing that makes a boy.