Guitar Jokes

[Studlover (imported)]

Guitar Jokes

What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth?

The stage is level.

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer?

Give him some sheet music.

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What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common.

Both suck when you plug them in.

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How do you make a bass player turn down the volume?

Put a chart in front of him.

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How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?

None--they just steal somebody else's light.

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What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?

Counterpoint.

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.

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What's the best thing to play on a guitar?

Solitaire.

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How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.

Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.

One, but the guitarist has to show him first.

Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.

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In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?

Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.

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Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed?