Pre-birth and late-onset homosexuality

[CastraCare (imported)]

Dear gay men!

In the past years I've had gay friends, colleagues and neighbors.

Some of them were interested in boys from the beginning of puberty or even earlier. They were usually not interested in male stuff like sports and competition.

My kindergarden friend was like that as child.

Others swear they had no interest in boys at all. They spent their youth chasing skirts like most men. They got married, became fathers and went to sports games.

Then little by little they got interested in men.

The wives threw them out and these men live a gay life now.

Is there something like pre-birth and late-onset homosexuality?

[bibiribi (imported)]

The hormones, instincts and learned from the experience (behavior patterns) determine a person's behavior.

They can be also separately significant. And they may jointly determinants a person's sexual identity. (Female, male, TS ...)

The psychological identity may be contrary to physical identity.

And that is different from that of a person whom they want sexually attractive to. A person who's who of the affinity? A woman or a man, or both ... or TS person.

The hormones, instincts, and the learned behaviors can determine gender identity.

And also determined on sexual orientation.

They may be dominant forces separately and also in combination.

And a person's life can change all this.

A unborn baby boy gets a lot of female hormones. And it can cause TS identity.

This is only an example.

A latent bisexuality may open in adulthood. Any effect may occur. Hormonal change, encouraging motivation or experience.

I know my English is lousy Those who read, be creative

[nvrgag44 (imported)]

My experience: I was bi from puberty and always comfortable with my sexuality no matter which team I was playing for. Still married to the first wife I dearly love and we have a beautiful family we're very proud of. But the meaning of love changes as the years go by and things that were important long ago no longer matter. When we were younger we had good sex almost daily. As we aged and my wife went through menopause this formerly insatiable woman lost all desire for sex. We're still affectionate but we haven't had real sex in well over 20 years. But it all worked out. As her libido disappeared my interest in women also disappeared and was replaced with a stronger attraction to men. I always look at myself in this hypothetical situation: If I were in a room with a man and a woman and both wanted sex I would choose the man without hesitating. And it goes beyond the sexual aspect. Excluding my wife from this hypothetical, I would now prefer a relationship with a man and wouldn't even consider one with a woman. My guess is those who have always been exclusively gay would put an * next to my name in the gay column but that's my story.

[CastraCare (imported)]

Thank you both!

Obviously it's more complicated than I thought. Or let's say there is more variation.

Do you think there are no 100% homo- or heterosexual people? So over time the other interest comes up to the surface. That would explain it.

One of my former colleagues is totally convinced that he was a straight guy with absolutely no interest in men. But after about 12 years of marriage he began to develop an interest for men.

He can not explain how and why. It hurt his wife a lot for she thinks he had just not told her.

[Hopeful1 (imported)]

My experience in some ways mirrors that of nvrgag44 although it's only been 7 years since my wife and I were intimate. Like many boys, my neighbor and I experimented with oral sex on each other when we were 13. He hated doing it, liked getting it and I liked doing it. We had an ongoing relationship until he and I were 16 and we moved 5 states away. Fast forward, married, child and I had a one night stand with a man 13 years older when I was 25. Over the years, I gradually lost interest in sex with my wife (or any woman). However my wife's appetite instead of going away, greatly increased to the point she was seeing men with my blessing. A LOT of men. This was actually a good thing since a few of her men were bi and she has always been willing to share them with me. So from 13-16 I was totally homosexual, bisexual for 40-45 years and now homosexual. But as to how I acted, I played baseball until I got out of high school, raced cars, coached baseball, target shoot. But I've also been a lifelong crossdresser and many of my experiences with men were when I was dressed. I could probably entertain a psychologist for years.

[nvrgag44 (imported)]

Hopeful 1: you and your wife's experiences outside your marriage are somewhat similar to mine and part of the story I left out because it seemed irrelevant to the subject of orientation. We were active swingers for several years from the late 70s to early 90s when my wife began to lose interest in sexual activity. We both enjoyed the sexual company of both sexes but bisexuality was much more active and open between women than men in the swinging community. We've always had a strong marriage and there were never any jealousy issues. It also meant I never had any problems wandering off the reservation with other men after her menopause. I was lucky. Things just seemed to always work themselves out.

[Hopeful1 (imported)]

We both enjoyed the sexual company of both sexes but bisexuality was much more active and open between women than men in the swinging community.

Well, I didn't mention my wife's best friend was also a girlfriend along with her boyfriends. For a while I was working out of town and only home on weekends. I always laughed and said I knew for certain I was a cuckold when her best girlfriend got a lot more sex from her than I did.

H1

[paring (imported)]

There are 2 theories about it, the most common one is that, we are born that way. The second theory is that, no one is fully gay nor straight according to Nancy Friday , a well known american sexologist, every "straight" man will have at least once in their life an erotic dream involving an other man. As far as I'm concerned I was straight. I've never thought of having sex with an other man but I had so many trouble with women that at one point, in 1979, I nearly committed suicide. Shortly after I've even tried to castrate my self not to ever have sex again. About a year later I stumble upon a man in a rest area who offered me a blow job, after a year of abstinence, I was rock hard and I accepted his offer. It took me only 5 sec to cum. It was a shock, I couldn't believe what I did. After an other 6 months I've tried to go to gay bars but I didn't like it, I finally decided to relive the gay experience with a male prostitute (very handsome) but I was still not convinced that I was gay and tried to castrate my self once again to put an end to my sex life. I finally return to the bars and discos that I had visited with the prostitute. Only then I started to get comfortable with gays. Today I still consider my self BI but I'm definitively more gay. Since, I've had sex with over a thousand man and only 2 women. So, I'm the living proof that straight men can become homos. Also, it's well known that straight prisoners, after some time, end up having sex with their cells mates. No one is 100% straight or gay, this all depends on the opportunity, the situation and the right partner for a man or a woman to tumble..

[YodaNell (imported)]

Interesting and thought provoking.

I have to ask a question on this subject as well. I am legally partnered with a gay man (let's call I'm John) in communion of property. Rewind 10 years...

In 2005 I had no place to stay and a brother in Christ invited me to live with him until I could manage my own living. I was ignorant is sexual matters at that time so I did not notice he was gay until he told me a month later or so. As time went on he developed a liking in me and wanted me as his lover (he did NOT tell me this at that time), so he started to nag me to "marry"/partner him in court. I refused as I am straight and could not imagine ever having relations with a man. He really begged/nagged/moaned/groaned and promised heaven and earth to me for 2 years. After 2 years I agreed to partner with him on the condition that we shall never have sexual relations because I cannot kiss and have sex with a man. He was very excited and agreed to the terms. Many of our friends asked John if he was absolutely sure in what he is doing...specially with partnering 'in communion of property' and he insisted that's what he wanted. So soon we got partnered in court. I just figured John was scared of ever living alone again and wanted someone to care for but...

At times he would try to touch me on my nipples, private parts and even kissing open mouth. I would protest heavily and reminded him of our terms and that would piss him off. He said that he does a lot for me and all he wants is a little affection some times, but I tenderly explain to him that it's not in my makeup to be gay and that he knows this. I agreed many time that he should and have the right to be loved and make love but I'm just not that guy. Even though we agreed not to have sexual relations, he insults, blames and place terrible guilt on me.

Now after 10 years, John got involved with another straight guy and want to have sexual relations to him. I was very angry because he was in breach of our contract and I can sue him AND that other guy. John told me if I can not give him what he want's then he will find a man that will.

HERE IS THE POINT:

John wants sexual relations with a straight man...not a gay man. He told me he "married" me in hopes that I would become "gay" or rather Bisexual. He says gay men are to feminine and required a rough hairy bearded straight man to make love to. This new guy also told John that, being straight, he cannot give sex to him. I asked John if he could change HIS sexual orientation and become straight to love a woman and he absolutely said "NO!"...but he CANNOT understand that the same apply to us straight guys.

So...JUST AS JOHN CANNOT BECOME STRAIGHT, DO YOU THINK A STRAIGHT MAN CAN BECOME GAY AND IF SO...WASN'T HE THEN JUST BISEXUAL ALL ALONG?

[CastraCare (imported)]

Thank you all for your openness.

Very interesting and surprising facts and experiences.

Compared to that my sexlife was boring.

I'd like to read more about how you "became" gay or when you discovered your homosexuality.

Has anybody come back from gay to straight?