Seeing Dr Arnkoff next week

[monkey50 (imported)]

This super swelling of the cords (and hematoma, though I seem to have dodged that bullet) seems incredibly common and was explicitly noted by Dr. A. I've sent him a photo and he said everything looks okay, so I plan to resume some normal-ish activity today, and might take the dog for a walk, drive, do a few light errands and so on! Not quite "turned the corner" (I don't fully expect that for another month, honestly) but now, on day 5, I feel some progress.

[monkey50 (imported)]

Six days post orchiectomy

Bruising on legs and ass cheeks has lightened a bit, and no new bruising on the scrotum. Things are still very sensitive and standing, sitting, or walking for any length of time is rough but now, on day 6, I can notice the improvement from one day to the next. I think the post procedure experience must certainly vary, but my recovery has not been easy. Incision wound looks good, still taking my antibiotics and tylenol every six hours. Haven't taken any testosterone since before the orchiectomy and as of last night I'm still having mild nighttime erections.

Watched a video of a simple (meaning through the scrotum) orchiectomy with the physician narrating today:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYokNSAnbOY (warning: graphic surgical video)

I don't recommend watching this if you're squeamish or about to undergo castration. I might not have wanted to watch this before hand, but it's fascinating now to understand better what was going on in my body.

[monkey50 (imported)]

Eight days post orchiectomy

Doing pretty well. Have returned to some activity but there’s still honestly a bit of discomfort doing most things, including sitting, aside from lying flat on my back. I don't describe it as pain but rather preoccupying levels of discomfort. So there’s that. Honestly reading about peoples’ interest in doing this in any other possible environment aside from with a fully trained urologist is mind boggling. Even with the assurance that it’s been done by a trained professional in a sterile environment (capable of answering follow up questions and providing care if necessary) is worrisome and difficult all by itself.

Emotionally, I’m feeling better now that I’m starting to feel better physically. I still haven’t taken any testosterone, and a

m still having mild nighttime erections.

I don’t want to experience weakness or hot flashes but very excited about the idea of getting my test nice and low and seeing the whole package very small. Any other eunuchs using low dose testosterone who can provide advice on minimum dose for health/energy?

Had a few sexual thoughts yesterday for the first time since procedure, which I take as a sign of healing. No regrets, feeling good and preoccupied with thoughts about scrotectomy or more. Thinking about looking for a therapist with non-binary gender experience, just to talk through things. Also, weirdly: I feel kinder. Curious and surprised by this, but more interested in emotional connection.

Picture Update:

http://imgur.com/q6A9mAs (from underneath to show healing of bruising)

http://imgur.com/Niextoi (profile, note scrotal swelling. Thread from the final knot in the suture is visible.)

[SplitDik (imported)]

Thanks for sharing your experience and photos.

I always find it amazing how difficult the orchiectomy recovery can be. At least half the people end up with haemotoma, even bleeding externally, swelling, etc. You'd think the testicles would be easy to just tie off and snip off, but apparently not. The body is really good at detecting injury I guess and so knows to swell the area. It is also a good warning to those seeking DIY or cutter castration -- even doctor performed orchiectomy can have significant recovery difficulties.

[GerneEunuch (imported)]

Congratulations @monkey50!

Slowly your scrotum gets the outlook of an empty bag.

[GerneEunuch (imported)]

..

. It is also a good warning to those seeking DIY or cutter castration -- even doctor performed orchiectomy can have significant recovery difficulties.

Yes, so it is!

Last week I telephoned with a cutter in Germany. I saw a chance there to get rid of my balls. But because of the information I got here, I found out, that he is not so skilled medically. He also missunderstood me. This man was member of the SM-scene and thought, that I want to stage my castration as a big party. But not at all I want to become castrated for a sexual thrill and do not want to amuse other people watching my castration. He also offered me penectomy and told me things, what are going on in Europe, that were almost incredible. I will tell this in another tread.

My road to castration is clear now. Never using a cutter and also not DIY. Patience is needed. The links to the castration-videos here are good, but they can not provide surgical basics, like correct stitching etc. The knowledge about the procedure may help to check up dotors, who are willing to it.

My hope is to get professional castration either in East-Europe, or in Thailand or India. I should start to travel a bit.

[monkey50 (imported)]

GerneEunuch, glad to hear you're going this route. I think you're making a good decision. I understand there are a number of excellent surgical options in Thailand, with a more enlightened or less restrictive attitude toward mental health letters and so on.

I mentioned earlier in my chain of posts that you might have good luck with approaching urologists honestly about your interest in castration. I'm reasonably sure my regular doctor would have done it for me, and was willing to have the conversation with me about it -- I didn't go with him because Dr. Arnkoff is accessible and getting to Detroit was not very expensive. Not sure what the situation is in Europe.

[InkedFutureNullo (imported)]

Also, weirdly: I feel kinder. Curious and surprised by this, but more interested in emotional connection.

Nothing weird about it. i've felt the same way with zero T and low dose E, calm, compassionate, and nonjudgmental.

[monkey50 (imported)]

Nothing weird about it. i've felt the same way with zero T and low dose E, calm, compassionate, and nonjudgmental.

IFN: How was your conversation with a physician about low dose E? I have a physical coming up and have a good relationship with my doc, but am not sure yet I want to start E. Still getting my head around other new feelings I'm having and considering some gender therapy just to chat with a professional. Is it possible to do a trial run of E? What body and mental changes have you noticed?

I've been reading up on bone health and it seems unclear in the literature whether testosterone has any role in bone health aside from its aromatization into estrogen, which does the bone building work. I'm not sure about that, but I don't know if it's well understood medically. Doing a small amount of estrogen just for that purpose might be worthwhile.

[monkey50 (imported)]

Nine days post orchiectomy

Healing progress is very stair stepped. When you get better from a cold or something, you feel a little better and then suddenly are completely better! That's not what this is... I can tell an improvement now every day (though good days didn't start until about the 4th/5th day) and can manage a little better all the time. Pretty comfortable sitting up (slouching?) today, which is niiiiice for laptop and doing a bit of work. Going to hit the office tomorrow for the first time since surgery, so we'll see how the commute plus office environment is. Fortunately I have a paperwork type job and not a heavy lifting one.

Bruising is healing up nicely, turning funny colors and fading. Most of the ass bruising just has a margin/border of bruise, though there's still a bit of dark discoloration on the left side of the scrotum. Have some green/yellow bruising I didn't notice before (but I guess was there) on my pubic area branching out from that left side, too, but it looks like it's fading as well. Incision is looking okay and not red or infected or anything. Neosporin twice a day, per orders. Small amount of white wound funky stuff that I pick off after I shower. The suture is still there and looks intact, but I expect it to be dissolving/disappearing soon. The right side of my incision, where the drain was, had a slightly larger space between the end of the incision and the last stitch. I guess that's to keep it slightly open for the drain, but that means it has been slightly open. It's not bleeding, but it's still draining. I bought a box of small pads for women and have used those in regular bikini-style briefs. I'm not soaking it, but it leaves a reddish/yellow stain there after a few hours. Feels appropriate to change my pad and keep it clean/dry. Seeing progress in that too.

As far as the swelling, I think a lot of the general swelling is down though there's still something hard in my scrotum. The left side especially has been a bear and is noticeably larger than the right. Right side even has some slack in it and I have a funny wrinkle of scrotal skin, which is cool. I haven't SQUEEZED exactly, but when you touch the mass inside the skin it feels very firm and taut. Has some density. I suspect but can't confirm that this is cord swelling and not a hematoma. I somehow imagine a hematoma would have a little bit of give to it, or feel looser in the skin? Dr. A told me, and he was right, the stump of the cord would feel exactly like a ball and testicle, and it feels larger and harder than my real ones ever did. But today is the first day they are not super sensitive to touch, so all in all, pretty good.

Emotionally and mentally, still great. No regrets and proud of myself for making this step. I have been dismayed a little at the intensity of this whole thing and didn't understand how consuming the healing process was going to be. You really have to plan to treat yourself like a patient recovering from a big surgery. I've had friends who had what I would have considered much more serious surgeries who were back at work in less time than this. Main problem is the pain/discomfort of standing, sitting, walking. Good for a little while but not sustained. As always, mileage seems to vary but that was significant for me -- a middle aged guy, physically active with no health problems, normal weight.

I do have some concerns about what the next steps might be. Contemplating some gender therapy for discussion. I don't feel trans, but I'm definitely satisfying some dimension of my person or view of myself with this, as I feel relief and satisfaction. The concerning part is what the negative impacts would be on people around me if I went further. I've got a good life and have people I care about around me, so maybe my therapy and self reflection will focus on understanding myself but perhaps also acknowledging that there are some steps I may never take. I think the understanding self portion of that will still be a worthwhile endeavor.