Lawyer Jokes

[Dave (imported)]

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

- - a good start

Why don't Sharks bite Lawyers?

- - professional courtesy

What do you all a lawyer who is on fire?

- - kindling

What do you call lawyers when they skydive?

- - skeet

Lawyers occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

- quote from Winston Churchill who had a great sense of humor (insult)

[C&TL2745 (imported)]

The difference between a dead skunk in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road? Skid marks in front of the skunk.

[Dave (imported)]

What's the difference between a lawyer and a blood-sucking leech?

The leech quits sucking when you die.

[Hopeful1 (imported)]

Why are scientists starting to use lawyers instead of rats for testing in labs.

Lawyers are more plentiful and not as lovable as the rats.

[sherifffdb (imported)]

How can you tell the difference between a pit bull and a female lawyer?

Lipstick.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

How can you tell the difference between a pit bull and a female lawyer?

Lipstick.

Pit bulls wear lipstick? --FLO--

[Dave (imported)]

Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do that a lawyer won't do?

A: Stick his bill up his ass.

Q: What do you call parachuting lawyers?

A: Skeet.

Q: Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?

A: Because deep down, they are really good guys!