How Cavepeople Got Their Rocks Off: Neolithic Dildos

[Cainanite (imported)]

Found on the CVLT Nation Website

March 31, 2015

By Meghan MacRae

Maybe due to the religious myths that have been hammered into our collective consciousness for millennia, human beings, especially in the west, have a tendency to see ourselves as once innocent, and now depraved. Once upon a time, we did it as nature intended us to, but now it’s all porno and sex toy shops. In fact, there are a lot of examples of prehistoric sex toys to be found all over the world. These “ice-age batons,” as archeologists like to call them, are clearly not your average stone tool. They are life-sized penises carved from ivory, antler and stone, in all sizes and shapes, and sometimes even with piercings. Some of these examples date as far back as 30,000 years ago. If a cavewoman wanted to tenderize some meat, why carve a penis to do it with – unless it wasn’t dinner she was working on. There are also references to dildos and depictions of them in art dating back to ancient Greece; they were apparently a popular subject in Greek comedy. So far from being some kind of post-Freudian creation, dildos are something human beings have made use of for most of our history.

http://www.cvltnation.com/how-cavepeopl ... ic-dildos/

I suppose there was very little else to entertain our primitive ancestors whilst living in those caves.

[coinflipper_21 (imported)]

I have felt for some time that the stone age "Venus figurines" (Venus of Willendorf, etc.) were not fertility cult objects but represented the female ideal for the men of the time. If you could have a fat wife you were a good hunter and good provider. As such, they were small so that the hunters could carry them on the trail to give some masturbatory focus around the campfire. They were not religious figures, but the stone age equivalent of a stroke magazine...Paleolithic pornography!

[Paolo]

Oh my... ...

[kristoff]

Makes sense to me. Equivalent of my pic collection that I can't get off to anymore.... damn, miss that

[Losethem (imported)]

I suppose there was very little else to entertain our primitive ancestors whilst living in those caves.

They seemed to entertain themselves quite well here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u58TKioxsVs

[Ernie of Maine (imported)]

I have it on DVD.

They seemed to entertain themselves quite well here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u58TKioxsVs

[A-1 (imported)]

...don't you mean "got off on their rocks" and not "got their rocks off"? Have you ever seen a rock come? Well, O.K., maybe under the influence of drugs, but I mean sober.

Now I know why everyone thought that poster "10,000 B.C." with whats her name was so hot. She had a rock dildo.

Did you know that people who live in glass houses should use glass dildoes and not rock ones?

[jacb1951 (imported)]

at the risk of sounding perverted i just want one.