abuse shelter

[Arab Nights (imported)]

There is a separate thread revolving around a shelter for the abused. Separate from the whole thing which happened to the thread-starter and the people involved with the shelter, there is the core issue of shelters for the abused. There happens to be one close to me that, to all appearances, has been very, very successful. In honesty, I am in awe of all they do. And they are willing to share their path with other shelters around the country.

Abuse is a serious issue. If anyone knows of a shelter which could and would be willing to benefit from their experience and advice, please message me and I will message back with some info.

[Losethem (imported)]

Then you have shelters like the one in my local community that take the woman's word as gospel and are unwilling to see her problems and issues. My brother is currently being raked over the coals by this center. His hopefully soon to be ex, has been using the resources of this shelter to obscure her own drug use. Since she's only using them for legal help and not her housing, they are not seeing or are simply too stupid to see her issues, even when several people are telling them she's a drug user. She abuses marijuana, Norco, and is on Paxil and doesn't take it or takes it sporadically, which is worse than not at all.

So far she's been able to get him kicked out of his house, gotten a restraining order against him that includes her AND the kids, and all he was trying to do was get her into rehab so that she could get her demons sorted out.

So, this women's shelter, with their blinders of the woman is always right, has managed to keep these kids in a dangerous situation with a drug abuser. They also managed to get that "horrible man" separated from his kids. Frankly, I'm getting tired of our society always believing the woman is right. I say fine, separate her, but you damn well better do the follow through and figure out if she's actually the problem before you help them file paperwork against the person who is actually trying to sort the problem out.

I think the place should be shut down if this is what they are going to do.

And I say all this knowing there are legitimately battered women out there, but in this case the woman in question is abusing the system.

--LT

[Ernie of Maine (imported)]

Losethem is right I have seen this before and some wemen Abose there men in more sudtill ways some not. Ernie

Then you have shelters like the one in my local community that take the woman's word as gospel and are unwilling to see her problems and issues. My brother is currently being raked over the coals by this center. His hopefully soon to be ex, has been using the resources of this shelter to obscure her own drug use. Since she's only using them for legal help and not her housing, they are not seeing or are simply too stupid to see her issues, even when several people are telling them she's a drug user. She abuses marijuana, Norco, and is on Paxil and doesn't take it or takes it sporadically, which is worse than not at all.

So far she's been able to get him kicked out of his house, gotten a restraining order against him that includes her AND the kids, and all he was trying to do was get her into rehab so that she could get her demons sorted out.

So, this women's shelter, with their blinders of the woman is always right, has managed to keep these kids in a dangerous situation with a drug abuser. They also managed to get that "horrible man" separated from his kids. Frankly, I'm getting tired of our society always believing the woman is right. I say fine, separate her, but you damn well better do the follow through and figure out if she's actually the problem before you help them file paperwork against the person who is actually trying to sort the problem out.

I think the place should be shut down if this is what they are going to do.

And I say all this knowing there are legitimately battered women out there, but in this case the woman in question is abusing the system.

--LT

[Kangan2008 (imported)]

My experience with a certain women's shelter apparently run by the female abuse victims themselves seems to be along the lines of 1. They hate men. 2. They are scared of men. 3. They cannot interact normally with men.

Beware, is all that I can say....

[Arab Nights (imported)]

The one I am referring to is not like you describe. I know the facilities manager. He has never indicated a problem. I have talked with the director. She appears to be an open and unbiased person. I do not want to say that the abused are at fault, but the group states that commonly a woman will have issues which cause her to accept and stay in abusive relationships and they do try to help the individuals face and work thru the issues at cause. Many of the counselors are men. Among the issues they work on are substance abuse.

As I said, the particular shelter seems very professionally managed and well grounded. They have accomplished a lot. And they do try to help men who have been abused. Lets not mix our personal gripes with a good organization.

[micdavi24 (imported)]

There are good and bad in all things in life, like there are good and bad shelters for the abused. The difference is in who runs them. When the shelters are run by qualified and trained personnel, they do a lot of good, but when they are run by either rabid feminists or other abused people who don't have the training and experience to perform their tasks diligently and professionally, then they do more harm than good and should be shut down. Maybe there should be a standard governing how shelters are set up and who should run them.

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Then you have shelters like the one in my local community that take the woman's word as gospel and are unwilling to see her problems and issues. My brother is currently being raked over the coals by this center. His hopefully soon to be ex, has been using the resources of this shelter to obscure her own drug use. Since she's only using them for legal help and not her housing, they are not seeing or are simply too stupid to see her issues, even when several people are telling them she's a drug user. She abuses marijuana, Norco, and is on Paxil and doesn't take it or takes it sporadically, which is worse than not at all.

So far she's been able to get him kicked out of his house, gotten a restraining order against him that includes her AND the kids, and all he was trying to do was get her into rehab so that she could get her demons sorted out.

So, this women's shelter, with their blinders of the woman is always right, has managed to keep these kids in a dangerous situation with a drug abuser. They also managed to get that "horrible man" separated from his kids. Frankly, I'm getting tired of our society always believing the woman is right. I say fine, separate her, but you damn well better do the follow through and figure out if she's actually the problem before you help them file paperwork against the person who is actually trying to sort the problem out.

I think the place should be shut down if this is what they are going to do.

And I say all this knowing there are legitimately battered women out there, but in this case the woman in question is abusing the system.

--LT

I'll say this: 99 percent of the time there is abuse in a home, it is the man who is the abuser...There are more women in prison from being abused by men than any other issue. when there is a suicide/homicide...guess who the murderer is, invariably..The guy..I rest my testosterone minimized case...Jackie

[kristoff]

I'll say this: 99 percent of the time there is abuse in a home, it is the man who is the abuser...There are more women in prison from being abused by men than any other issue. when there is a suicide/homicide...guess who the murderer is, invariably..The guy..I rest my testosterone minimized case...Jackie

I worked corrections for years. While it is true that men are the more common abusers, don't even think it is only 1% females. Try a good 20% - I've dealt with some real bruisers with big boobs who beat the fuck out of their men and women. People just can't seem to grasp that - and reporters refuse to believe it and won't write it. It ain't all dainty fainting flowers out there with bruises.

[Paolo]

Years ago, I lost all use for the abuse shelter here. They wanted my sister to come and take classes - without a place for her and the kids to stay. "Not our problem," they told her. They told her to be more assertive.

She went back home.

Two days later, she clobbered her husband with a fry pan over the head. Thank God it wasn't cast iron, or she'd have been an episode of CSI!

She said she went to the class on being assertive. Hello!?

Yeah, all this place did was put on classes. Yet they had a budget for TV ads on the local news every night?

In short, they were no help at all. It sort of polarizes your attitude, but I do try to not pass judgement based on 1 bad experience.

[Kangan2008 (imported)]

There are good and bad in all things in life, like there are good and bad shelters for the abused. The difference is in who runs them. When the shelters are run by qualified and trained personnel, they do a lot of good, but when they are run by either rabid feminists or other abused people who don't have the training and experience to perform their tasks diligently and professionally, then they do more harm than good and should be shut down. Maybe there should be a standard governing how shelters are set up and who should run them.

From what I can tell the shelter that I had a run in with, has an all female staff with zero males present other than small male children. While they ran me off and told me never to darken their doorstep again, I did get a thank you letter, thanking me for my donations of electrical parts. It was dated the same day as when I was thrown out! Either the right hand does not know what the left is doing, or they are backhandedly trying to apologize. In either case I'll keep my distance....