Where do i begin?

[smoothcrotch (imported)]

Since reaching puberty, i have had the desire [more of a desperate need, really] to rid myself of my ugly, hated testicles and, yes, my equally detested penis. While i did not know the terms "castration" or "eunuch" yet, i had often contemplated slicing off everything down there myself, or having some horrible "accident" that would make it impossible for the medical professionals to save my what was hanging uselessly between my legs. But i never found the courage to do either. Besides hating the unsightliness of my genitals, i was constantly beset by the need to masturbate, which i also hated, in order to stop thinking about sex for what seemed like every waking moment of my life. That need is with me to this day and i still despise it. As a homosexual i do have sex with men that i truly do enjoy. It is sex where i prefer not to be reciprocated. And, when there is reciprocation, i end up hating myself for enjoying those brief moments of enjoyment. Simply put, i want none of my happiness to be tied to my testicles and my penis.

Moving forward fifty some odd years, i am still contemplating castration as means to finally finding peace and happiness and contentment in my life. Seven-years-ago, my prostate was surgically removed due to cancer. At the time, i had hoped that my sexual thoughts and the drive that went along with those thoughts would lessen, or even cease altogether, once the prostate was gone. But that was not to be. My neediness to pleasure myself has increased drastically, along with my shame, for some odd reason. Two years ago, i made the decision to finally do something about my situation. I have chatted with a couple of eunuchs on a gay site, but they could or would not give me too much information as to how i should go about started the process. They both referred me to the Eunuch Archive, however. And both of them did send photos of their testicle-less [and one without a penis] selves. They looked wonderful to me. Both of them also claimed to be much, much happier and contented since going through their procedures. That is about all they would say, though. So, i am seeking advice, from anyone here who has gone through it, on how to proceed. Where should i begin? Thank you for your help.

[Frida G Cavic (imported)]

Have you ever tried antiandrogens? Chemicall castration can reduce your desires of masturbation and sexual thoughts, and In aproppiate dosage can low testosterone at the level of a real eunuch. You may try this as the first step so you can have an approach to "what It feels living without T"

http://forums.eunuch.org/showthread.php ... feminizing

[micdavi24 (imported)]

You could pay a visit to Dr. Arnkoff, he will apparently perform castration surgery no questions asked.

[boingboing (imported)]

Having survived prostate cancer, you shouldn't have any trouble getting a prescription for anti-androgens. Testosterone can increase the risk of recurrence.

[nvrgag44 (imported)]

BoingBoing wrote: "

Having survived prostate cancer, you shouldn't have any trouble getting a prescription for anti-androgens

".

I hope you're right. I had prostate cancer in '06. The radiation apparently did a number on my nuts too. That and the aging process (my assumption) have resulted in T levels consistently under 300. The latest reading from a couple weeks ago was 178. PSA was .62, up from .47 last August. The urologist said to come back in 3 months for a re-take of both and we would discuss TRT. As long as he brought it up I'm going to ask him if we can lower it more, not raise it. I don't want it as low as it was when I was Lupron. I have no idea how low it was then but it made me miserable. So we'll find out how receptive he is to the idea.