The perfect Christmas present for a eunuch's significant other

[SplitDik (imported)]

An $800 gold penis (and balls) pendant! See the picture with the article.

http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/12/tom-for ... klace.html

Still wondering what to get Mom for Christmas? Might I suggest this truly elegant Tom Ford penis charm necklace? It's a stunning piece, available in both gold and silver, and is offered in three sizes: small, medium, and large (though not micro).

Maybe you're thinking, Is this really a phallus? Couldn't it just as easily be the underside of a jet or a Jeff Koons balloon animal?

Well, the necklace is simply called "penis pendant necklace," so there's no doubt about it: This is an $800 golden dick for your neck.

Or if your significant other already has enough jewelry, why not some rubber testicles:

http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/12/best-ch ... -know.html

Individual cottage industry of perfect ideas Amy Sedaris has resolved your quandary about what to get the men in your life for Christmas, birthdays, or any other gift-giving festival. Present to them some rubber testes:

There's this thing you can get — you know when you order, like, heart models or organ models? There's one you can get of testicles and it just sits in the palm of your hand. It's for men and they massage this model so they can tell if they've got you know, test — I can't pronounce it, testicular cancer or something like that. It's a good go-to gift that I've gotten people before. It costs like $110, $120 and it comes in a beautiful box and it's just a set of balls. It's a really good present to give guys. I think it's a fantastic present. That's gonna be back on my number-one list to give men in my life.

This Christmas, don’t get men something they need, don’t get men something they want, don’t get men something they don’t know that they want: Just get your men life-size replicas of some balls.

[daifu-orchid (imported)]

Balls? I need balls?

Maybe also an elephant scrotum to put them in?