An odd little question based on my experience

[Christiaan (imported)]

Um...hi.

Okay, I was really late, like amazingly late coming to sexual maturity. I didn't remotely masturbate until I was 14, and after that, I wasn't producing until I was 15. Even after that, I was 16 before I was tossing full-size loads.

I was smooth as a girl until I was in my mid-20's. I am not even close to joking, and it even caused me to think I was transgender for a while when my fur started coming out. In fact, the only reason I could look at it without feeling I was a monstrosity was to think of it like the fur on a dog, and dogs are not gross. Not to me, anyway. I just have a pelt now, no big deal. But still, it was a TRIP, DUDE.

Well, when I first came across my present partner, he would get incredibly frustrated with me because I would constantly initiate intimacy, and I mean I was constant. I would not let up. I wanted to be cuddled. I wanted to be held by him securely like a puppy. I just loved the feeling of being held intimately and touched intimately and stroked intimately.

And yet...I never initiated sex. I didn't have the ability. It was a strange thing for me to initiate sex, and he would tell me that our relationship was a struggle for him because he always felt like "the pursuer," and that made him feel bad. I assured him that he wasn't, really he wasn't, and I really needed him abundantly, more than he could ever know.

Eventually, we found a happy medium, and now I initiate as often as he does. I don't any longer "submit" to sex by him, but I seek it out. I'm hungry for it. I'm thirsty for it. But my body chemistry has, consequentially, changed. I'm even getting broader in the shoulder, which would have freaked me out a few years ago but is now very slowly making me start to think of myself more as a "stallion" and less as an "effeminate cat."

Well, oddly, now I am no longer so insistent on cuddling constantly. I'm not so needy in that respect. We just have sex often enough, cuddle in the afterglow, and it's nice.

But here is my question: could low testosterone have been related to my earlier behavior? I hesitate to jump to conclusiheons, but I keep hearing from eunuchs that sometimes their needs for intimacy go up correspondingly with their loss of sex-drive or something like that. I hope to hear from actual eunuchs what the real story is on this.

Also, is it possible that this is related to the fact that I started finding "emotional" intimacy/sexuality with men before my sexuality was a factor is related? I mean, could it be that I was, early on, exclusively MENTALLY sexual? I mean, it's freaky, but I eventually had to learn to very carefully NOT tell my boyfriend that I would be thinking about carpentry projects and engineering problems while he was fucking me because he took it as me not being interested in him when I made the mistake of mentioning this, but sex is, for me, so amazingly mixed up with my intellectual thought processes, it makes both my intellect and my sexuality TWISTED AS HELL. If you put me in charge of designing a building, GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT WOULD COME OUT, AND HE'S PROBABLY AFRAID OF IT.

And would that explain why I get my sexuality so mixed-up strangely, weirdly, in twisted and crazy ways, with my philosophical tendencies, experimenting with sexual ideas in identical fashion to intellectual ones, holding them in my mind like intellectual, abstract notions and spinning them every-which-way?

Furthermore, does your sexuality, post-castration, become more a thing of the intellect? A grounds for creativity and thinking about sexual things in terms of "engineering problems"? I know some of you don't have ANY sexuality, but for those of you who continue having sex lives without hormone replacement, is anything I am saying ringing any bells?

Or am I just odd?

Thanks.

[_g (imported)]

Well now, "

could low testosterone have been related to my earlier behavior?

" YES, I did not have a lot of body hair, until I was drafted into the army and had to ware Boxer underware, then I became very hairy. Low of Testosterone would explain your history.

Now if you become hypogonadistic (low testosterone) or castrated (the results very greatly) sexualy any were form very little change to what is sex? Most without taking HTR have ED, and little or no interust in sex.

[Christiaan (imported)]

Well now, "

could low testos

terone have been related to my earlier behavior?

" YES, I did not have a lot of body hair, until I was drafted into the army and had to ware Boxer underware, then I became very hairy. Low of Testosterone would explain your history.

Now if you become hypogonadistic (low testosterone) or castrated (the results very greatly) sexualy any were form very little change to what is sex? Most with

out taking HTR have ED, and little or no interust in sex.Oh, I likely as not have ED not remotely related to any health problem. Even though I have relatively more body hair now and have gotten slightly broader in the shoulder, I lose my erection frequently during sex, which doesn't bother me because I'm a bottom anyway, and I can take up to an hour to shoot.

So basically, my chief satisfaction with my partner is when, in the evening, I kneel next to him and he rubs and pets on me a lot, and it's a pretty much nonsexual but very physical experience. That is, it's like a full-body orgasm, only more powerful than any orgasm you could experience, pretty much mind-numbing bliss. This is a regular thing for me. It's actually quite routine for me to spend hours with my head pressed up helplessly against the chair with his fingers stroking over me, and I'm just in a completely different state of mind, just sort of in kitten heaven.

Essentially, what I am guessing is that humans might react to being castrated about like cats do. They become more affectionate, and they are more likely to beg for attention.

[Kangan2008 (imported)]

Essentially, what I am guessing is that humans might react to being castrated about like cats do. They become more affectionate, and they are more likely to beg for attention.

Interesting concept. I never thought of it that way before. Meow! Purrrrrrr.

[paring (imported)]

All males, wether or not castrated, need love and affection. Perhaps even more after castration.

[Christiaan (imported)]

Thank you, Paring. I am actually very interested in this. You see, I tell people that I like being petted, and I tell them that, although it is very physical--perhaps the most physical thing that ever happens to me--I don't feel it's sexual, per se. I honestly find it to be more pleasurable than orgasm, though.

Essentially, my concern about castration was the possibility that this was directly associated with my sexuality, and there was a concern that being castrated would diminish this simple pleasure of mine.

The idea that a eunuch could still derive this sort of pleasure, although it doesn't necessarily compel me to want to be cut at this point in my life, does make the idea of being snipped sound a lot more appealing. In fact, if it could potentially increase the gratification, I might actually change my mind, but I'm more interested for now in just continuing to learn about the topic.

[SplitDik (imported)]

I do think that what you describe could be the result of hormones not following the normal levels. Note that some people have normal testosterone levels but have an insensitivity to it, so having a hormonal syndrome isn't always just about testosterone levels themselves.

I often see guys in their late teens who are obviously hypogonadal, and I think it is sad that their parents or doctors never really pursued checking on that. Not that being normal is everything, but a normal guy should go through a phase of testosterone-fueled horniness, aggression and physical development (muscles, hair, voice, genitals) at that time in their life.

I recommend that all men get their testosterone levels checked regularly. You don't even have to go to a doctor, you can order them yourself -- I buy them online and then just go to a real blood test lab where they draw the blood and send you the results. There is no reason to be unsure.

I do think the emotional and intimacy stuff can well be related to hormones. Not to be contrarian to paring's sweet sentiment in the thread above, but honestly testosterone-fueled men actually don't really have much need for love and affection. We feel good naturally within ourselves, and testosterone gives us a sort of daring (and admittedly a self-centeredness) that we'd be perfectly happy exploring on our own, dropping in behind enemy lines on a likely suicidal mission, or sitting alone in a hunting platform. Of course we still can appreciate love, but it is not something we actively seek or prioritize.

As a guy who has led a testosterone-fueled life (was obsessed with sexual thoughts by age 9, masturbating regularly by 11, etc.) including experimenting with both steroid use as well as castration I think I'm qualified to say that testosterone can greatly change your mood, reactions and priorities. With high testosterone you think conflict is fun (I kinda want a robber to break into my house just so I can practice my new Krav Maga moves or latest handgun) whereas with low testosterone you burst out crying when watching a Christmas Carol. With high testosterone you'll risk your life and marriage by frequenting prostitutes, while with low testosterone the idea of eating pussy suddenly seems kinda icky.

I love testosterone actually, but it got me into a lot of trouble and danger and is generally incompatible with modern society. I really wish I was born in Roman times where I could have spent my days waging petty wars on my neighbors in the daytime and then had orgies at night. But in modern times there are few outlets for male violence or sexuality -- both products of testosterone.

Anyway, I'm saying your experience does sound like a hormonal effect. Not anything wrong with it but if you want to understand it you should get your levels checked. You might even want to play around with trying testosterone supplementation.