I am truly mad

[Littledick (imported)]

I am please you are ok, and i hope you heal quickly, and there arn't too many complication with the authorities.

[YodaNell (imported)]

Now the penis next??? :dong:

[SplitDik (imported)]

Benzocaine is a fucking miracle. ... On the other hand, I'm a firm believer in local anesthetics now.

Local anesthetics are extremely dangerous for me, because when I use them I usually hurt myself quite badly. Especially burns. You can literally roast the meat on your cock if you use injectable Xylocaine. But you'll regret it for weeks afterwards.

To SgPhd512, you weren't really "mad" but I totally know the feeling where you plan and prepare something for an extended period, while part of you knows it is probably a bad idea but another part thinks it is what you need to do and another part is hooked on the sheer perverse excitement of the impending act. And then you actually go through with it and you're like "what did I do that for?". I think it honestly is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder -- where you feel compelled to continue something while part of you is observing wishing you would not do it.

I'm really thankful I am not a bit suicidal because I suspect some people have the same struggle with such things: i.e. making steps towards an irreversible act, dreading doing it but also compelled to continue.

I don't really regret the damage I've done to myself, I rather regret the fact that I was compelled to damage myself.

Anyway, the main way to relieve yourself of an obsession is to complete it. Which you have. Being castrated is better than the anxiety involved in constantaly facing the obsession to castrate yourself. Basically it was inevitable to happen and now it has!

[Kangan2008 (imported)]

I think it honestly is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder -- where you feel compelled to continue something while part of you is observing wishing you would not do it.

I'm really thankful I am not a bit suicidal because I suspect some people have the same struggle with such things: i.e. making steps towards an irreversible act, dreading doing it but also compelled to continue.

I don't really regret the damage I've done to myself, I rather regret the fact that I was compelled to damage myself.

Anyway, the main way to relieve yourself of an obsession is to complete it. Which you have. Being castrated is better than the anxiety involved in constantly facing the obsession to castrate yourself. Basically it was inevitable to happen and now it has!

Well put. There is a definite link between castration and suicide since some self-castrators end up committing suicide. In any event please don't try this on your own. Get professional help if you can. My interest in castration went to zero once I had the surgery, but, thankfully, I also have zero regrets. In my case, I was needing libido reduction and now that I have it, I'm quite happy.

[eunuchtx (imported)]

It's good that you're ok.

[YodaNell (imported)]

Anyway, the main way to relieve yourself of an obsession is to complete it...Being castrated is better than the anxiety involved in constantly facing the obsession to castrate yourself. Basically it was inevitable to happen and now it has!

I totally agree with this statement.

It always amaze me how wannabe Eunuchs read posts warning them not to do it themselves, but have it done professionally. They don't listen and go ahead and do it themselves resulting in a visit to the ER. Then they come back here and warn others not to do the same. This is a perpetual cycle.

[A-1 (imported)]

I totally agree with this statement.

It always amaze me how wannabe Eunuchs read posts warning them not to do it themselves, but have it done professionally. They don't listen and go ahead and do it themselves resulting in a visit to the ER. Then they come back here and warn others not to do the same. This is a perpetual cycle.

...I suppose...

[jcat (imported)]

I totally agree with this statement.

It always amaze me how wannabe Eunuchs read posts warning them not to do it themselves, but have it done professionally. They don't listen and go ahead and do it themselves resulting in a visit to the ER. Then they come back here and warn others not to do the same. This is a perpetual cycle.

Unfortunately Yoda the desperation drives us to do very crazy things and those of us who don't kill ourselves and recover realise what we have done and how totally mad it all is. I know that for me I felt no pain while I spent 6 hours hacking away at my scrotum.

It was only afterwards that I realised the enormity of what I had tried to do. I was lucky and quick thinking and put a drain in to get rid of the blood that started to inflate my scrotum, stretching the stitches. It could have ended badly with bleeding or infection over the many days I had to keep the drain in and changing the dressing every few hours.

On reflection I cannot quite believe I did it! In this desperation something else takes over and it can be very dangerous.

Unless you have experienced this force of desperation it is hard to grasp. It also manifests itself in the meticulous planning before the 'event' and the steely resolve to follow it through.

Looking back I am still frightened by what I did. Could I do it it again? I don't know. I hope not. What I do know is there are members here who messaged me and helped me through that period with support and concern and that means a lot. The Archive welcomes all and chides us for our crazy behaviour but always welcomes us and tries to offer sensible advice.

Once again in the fog desperation to be rid of either our testicles or penis madness in obsession can be overwhelming. This is probably why we return and warn others! I hope this makes some sense!

[TgEunuch (imported)]

Unfortunately Yoda the desperation drives us to do very crazy things and those of us who don't kill ourselves and recover realise what we have done and how totally mad it all is. I know that for me I felt no pain while I spent 6 hours hacking away at my scrotum.

It was only afterwards that I realised the enormity of what I had tried to do. I was lucky and quick thinking and put a drain in to get rid of the blood that started to inflate my scrotum, stretching the stitches. It could have ended badly with bleeding or infection over the many days I had to keep the drain in and changing the dressing every few hours.

On reflection I cannot quite believe I did it! In this desperation something else takes over and it can be very dangerous.

Unless you have experienced this force of desperation it is hard to grasp. It also manifests itself in the meticulous planning before the 'event' and the steely resolve to follow it through.

Looking back I am still frightened by what I did. Could I do it it again? I don't know. I hope not. What I do know is there are members here who messaged me and helped me through that period with support and concern and that means a lot. The Archive welcomes all and chides us for our crazy behaviour but always welcomes us and tries to offer sensible advice.

Once again in the fog desperation to be rid of either our testicles or penis madness in obsession can be overwhelming. This is probably why we return and warn others! I hope this makes some sense!

Yes JCat you make plenty sense. It is a crime that the Western Medical Industry and Profession can't and/or won't understand the desire, need, want and yes, the obsession that some men have about altering their male genitalia. I would rather have a surgeon remove my genitalia than using a cutter or doing a DYI job on myself. I wish to be modified and not mutilated nor end up in the ER or the morgue.

[jcat (imported)]

Thanks for all of your support. I was released from the hospital after a 24 hour stay. So far I have little to no pain and no signs of an infection. The last 48 hours have really been like a roller coaster ride.

So how are you doing SgPhd512? Are you OK and how are you healing up? best wishes.