About my desire for castration

[Kangan2008 (imported)]

hi,

i am new to this forum a. I am looking to be castrated but where i live it can only be done in hospital...Can all of you give me some advises or tips hoe to fake medical reason so the urologyst can remove me testicles? Iread about injections, but don't like them..Is there any other method?

thanks

You need to read more posts. I cannot advise or recommend any DIY method. I don't think that faking something will work. You need a valid reason. Be patient and investigate further. Analyze your own feelings, etc. Talk to a suitable medical professional or counselor. Patience, patience. All things will happen in due course....

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

I feel me the last days so restless. Weeks, sometimes months go by that I think let those balls still quiet and chatty swing between your legs. The desire is at the background and then suddenly I want my balls and sac to be cut off as soon as possible. Then I think about the offer of a cutter, but I prefer to go the legal and more safer way. In that case I have to talk again about the subject with my GP: "I mentioned that I had this desire, but the longing for a castration is not gone!". Or talk with an urologist. Or make phone-call with the transgender department of the VU hospital.

I wrote the quote about a year ago. Now I don't feel restless anymore. My balls are still dangling between my legs. I don't think that my balls and sac have to be cut off as soon as possible, better yesterday then today. Saying: "Next year I have to be a eunuch." is nonsense. I think it is a process with many sides and steps. Last month I had the varicose veins in my right leg removed. The way to this operation was an inner struggle of years, but when I finally went on the operating-table I was very quiet and followed the operation under local anaesthesia. One of the veins went up to the point of my groin where also the veins of my testicle go inside my body. That vein in my groin was bleeding and hurting a little the day(s) after. The professional skill of the surgeon and the caring atmosphere in the clinic was so relaxing. This operation on my varicose veins and the after care made that I lost my fear for the pain of a castration and made aware that I want a castration in such professional and caring atmosphere and after care. Until I find such an caring atmosphere and will have a key to open the door to such an atmosphere, my balls will still dangling in my scrotum between my legs.

Something else. I have used "BreastGro" capsules with herbal estrogens. At first for about 3 months. When I started it, I was as flat as possible, only some firm outstanding nipples and flat disk shaped tissue underneath my nipples. My nipples and my fully flat 'breasts' got itching after some weeks, then my nipples went very puffy and sore. I know that others who used Androcur had a same experience. I stopped because I got in a situation where I was afraid people would ask me fore what I was using these capsules. After some months I ordered capsules for 8 months. This time no fear for questions and no puffy and sore nipples, but slow minimal growth of my 'breasts', almost nothing compared too others, but for me a clear visible and tangible result. Now I'm almost finished my capsules for 8 months. I wonder to order new capsules for 8 month or should I try Androcur? I lost my fear for questions about taking pills. Androcur is only obtainable with a prescription of a doctor.

Androcur, a doctor, (eunuch) transgender therapy. It is a way step by step, many steps to go. At least I lost my fear for castration, the pain. I trust myself to think about Androcur. That are 2 steps. I feel for some feminization and being a eunuch = a castrated man with a penis.

BTW I got a semi hard erection when I thought about ordering Androcur. What to think about this?

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

Yesterday I met Jesus in Amsterdam and it was a wonderful event, which I'll never forget. He showed me his presentation for the conference and we talked about castration, the brain, eunuchs and the EA. We had a drink on the terras of the hotel watching the old harbor of Amsterdam, the unendless strearm of pedestrians and cyclists and we had a lovely vegetarian dinner in the big floating chinese palace restaurant.

The point about the brain interests me very much. And now I believe the stupide question I have in mind for years is probably not so stupide at all. The question is: "Why am I not castrated as a boy?"

[experiment (imported)]

Androcur is available from United Pharmacy (China) with out a prescription if you wish to try a chemical test first.

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

Androcur is available from United Pharmacy (China) with out a prescription if you wish to try a chemical test first.

Thanks for the tip, but I don't like chemical castration and if I would use it then only with the controle and prescription of a doctor.

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

It seems that my balls are shrinking. A few years ago I bought a steel ball stretcher with an inner diameter of 34 mm, which was so tight that my balls went almost immediately cold and purple. So took the bigger size 38mm. Later I bought a second ball stretcher.This morning I was wearing both my ball stretchers and pulled one stretcher to see how much skin my scrotum had - and then suddenly one after the other my balls sliped out of the stretcher. I was very surprised and happy. "Hurrah, my balls are smalller. This is the beginning of the end. It feels like castration comes closer!" They feel also smaller. Maybe there is an other more logic explanation; that the skin went thiner. It is also that after stretching it feels that my balls are gone as a good fried recently said about a photo of my balls in the stretchers:"Your balls look so alone as they don't belong to your body." He is right. I like the idea that my ball stretchers are probably soon useless toys for me.

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

The Dutch radio broadcasts now, this very moment a program about transgender and the whole scale of identities between man and woman. I feel a kind of 'itching' in my testicles, an awareness of still being there, and a tension in my body. The eunuch in me wants to get out.

My family doctor retires and I'll have a new and young family doctor at January 1th. I hope it will be easier to talk to him about my castration desire.

Some weeks ago I changed my avatar text: "Kom Ruin, Ruintje kom!" in English: "Come Gelding, Little Gelding come" I like the Dutch word Ruin and the animal Ruin.

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

I wrote that I want a castration and that a penectomy and nullofication are fantasy, but to be honnest while playing with my testicles and penis,

tucking those bodyparts inside my groin to get a smooth look down there, I become aware that I like to be a nullo. The point is that I'm a naturist and think that a naturist with an empty scrotum will be seen as rather 'normal'. I have seen some men naked in a sauna with an empty scrotum, nobody seemed to perceive that. I believe that even a lacking scrotum will be seen as 'normal' or as the result of a medical intervention. I wouldn't harm me to be naked without testicles and scrotum, anybody may see that. Without a penis? That seems to be more difficult for me. How about 'no penis' in a community where not having a penis is natural? Then it is natural, no problem, but I am not always in a community where being naked and not having a penis is normal. The caring power of such a community must be so warm and strong that it reaches ouside the group too. There still another point. The penis is a hose too, very practical. Can I imagine always to pee standing? Not now, maybe later. I don't mention the penis in relation to sex. I have hardly any sex. That will be reduced to 'no cock suckers' anymore.

Being a nullo, would look nice, but when I watch my hairless groin with the sac and balls and the tiny shrunk penis I think: "How sweet and nice."

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

Being a nullo, would look nice, but when I watch my hairless groin with the sac and balls and the tiny shrunk penis I think: "How sweet and nice."

Last I was on two mornings waking up with the strong thought: "No don't do that! Don't let you get castrated." I seem to like my genitals.

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

At April 19th I'll have an intake for a therapy. It is about my sadness because of the suicide of a lover (who was also into "balls") and my wish to get a referral for the transgender clinic, VUmc transgender team. We'll see.