I feel me the last days so restless. Weeks, sometimes months go by that I think let those balls still quiet and chatty swing between your legs. The desire is at the background and then suddenly I want my balls and sac to be cut off as soon as possible. Then I think about the offer of a cutter, but I prefer to go the legal and more safer way. In that case I have to talk again about the subject with my GP: "I mentioned that I had this desire, but the longing for a castration is not gone!". Or talk with an urologist. Or make phone-call with the transgender department of the VU hospital.
Cheetaking243 had a very practical list in her thread "What is the biggest thing stopping you?" I'll take look at that list again. Things have changed in my life and a fresh look at the case is never wrong.
Last week I was on the road with my bicycle in the woods. I felt my balls on the saddle and imagined they were gone and how it would feel, biking without balls. Then came in my mind that a two kilometers further on there is a young bull in the woods behind a fence. It is a white Charlonais bull, to breed the Charlonais cows, a fat French meat cattle. This young Charlonais bull has the biggest balls I have ever seen in my life. His huge balls seem to hang between his hind-legs with thin rope or string. While cycling I hoped the bull would be close to the fence so that I could see his balls and I was thinking how I would greet him when I would pass him:"Hello bull, how are you? I wish to pass you without my balls, while you have your football balls still dangling between your legs." Finally there was the bull and how nice, he was standing close to the fence so I could watch his huge balls very well. "Oh no! Bull where are your balls now? Your balls are gone! No, this is not fair bull. You lost yours and mine are still shifting on my bicycle saddle."
This topic got me thinking about my past. For all my life I not just "wanted" to be castrated I CRAVED it . The frustration of realizing there was no safe way to achieve what I needed was a matter of great despair for me.
Then an odd thing happened; once my nuts stopped producing testosterone (from Everclear injections) after about a year I no longer craved castration. I would still like it they were removed but now that I no longer have any feeling in them and that they no longer produce testosterone seems to be almost as good as full surgical castration.
nullorchis (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 19, 2014 3:13 am
This topic got me thinking about my past. For all my life I not just "wanted" to be castrated I CRAVED it . The frustration of realizing there was no safe way to achieve what I needed was a matter of great despair for me.
Then an odd thing happened; once my nuts stopped producing testosterone (from Everclear injections) after about a year I no longer craved castration. I would still like it they were removed but now that I no longer have any feeling in them and that they no longer produce testosterone seems to be almost as good as full surgical castration.
This I find curious, odd, and a great relief.
I can't say that I CRAVE it now, that was certainly in the past. Although I didn't know about the possibility to kill my testicles by injecting them with alcohol, I might have done it. Now I'm much older and I have a low testosterone level, my penis has shrunken and when I hear the difference between eunuchs and intact males, I'm pretty close to the eunuchs. It feels different now than in the past, in some way I got used to those two useless things between my legs. Today I don't drink alcohol, I can't stand it anymore. Should I inject that stuff in my balls and suffer from the pain time after time?
I often wonder what would be the best age for a castration. I think it would be between 30 and 45. At 30 you can know what you have to give up to gain your goal and at 45 you still can expect to live a significant number of years as a eunuch. Each year that I get older is a year tardy.
I would also underline the contribution of Peter47-NL. One of my balls stopped producing testosterone when I was 37. And this should be the latest age to be castrated. But I have not found a willing doctor to complete the op and to remove the second one. I am sure the I would have avoided all the troubles and difficulties in the meantime like marriage, an annoying wife and sexdrive, who lead me to bad experiences with other females.
In these former times I have not the courage to acknowledge being a gay.
Peter47-NL I have been reading your posts and can relate to your feelings. When I first became aware of the idea of castration and how that might change me I was excited. Sometimes the excitement would fade almost to a fear for having those feelings. It took a number of years before I was convinced it was right for me to make a permanent change.
My reasoning also changed through the years. I falsely believed I would become more passive and therefore more accepting of my life. I also thought passivity would allow me to be faithful again but I had already read between the lines and abandoned religion. Of course I had the times I thought I should be a woman before I knew I was eunuch.
What I have found post castration is a better understanding of why it was important for me. Some of the reasons that I used to justify for myself the need for castration were not real but the need was real. Knowing now that I am a different person than I thought I would be after many years without T I support you in your choice. Since the outcome can be a surprise in some ways I rarely encourage castration. I think you are following the right path in contacting health care professionals. If they do not help you surgically maybe they can help you clarify your feelings.
I think Tugon has it right again. These are choices and ones to be chosen carefully, and not to be be denied.
While I would not encourage anyone to be castrated, I would certainly support a well considered decision to proceed. DIY is a bad idea.
Life consists of many stages from infancy to senility, with much to be enjoyed along the way. It has been fun as a kid, the times as a younger and older adult, intact and eunuch. As one goes forward along this road, one can't go back, so transitioning from one stage to the next needs the right time. Some changes are beyond us - they come with the passage of time and life events. The others are the stuff of personal choice.
I also believe that as we own these bodies, we should be free to enjoy them as we wish, including mods to them as we wish. This includes pretty much anything the individual, with due consideration, wants: tats, hair color, circumcision and genital mods, castration and yes, getting nulled.
The art of it is to enjoy each stage to the max! -Which presumably means not missing out on any?
Tugon and daifu-orchid are correct. You may think that you need castration, but you might find out afterwards that it was a mistake. I recall one fellow some 6-years ago who had surgery, and then about 6-months later, he changed his mind and started T replacement therapy. Oops! Big expense and then another life long expense - all for nothing. You MUST be really, really certain, before you have the surgery. In my case, I had made up my mind and then had to wait for several decades until I found a surgeon. By that time I was totally ready. Trying some anti-T drugs might be one way to get the effects of castration without the irreversible reality.
Good luck to all of you who are contemplating castration. Please be patient and don't do anything rash....
Good wisdom. Find out how it is to be a eunuch first, and then after due consideration go and be one -if you still want it.
Lots of ways to do, but it seems that when medical professionals want to completely shut down T production, they usually choose Lupron -but it's expensive.
I got done for medical reasons, and at first didn't like it at all, but now life's good and I'm happy with it. -Another stage along life's road and also to be enjoyed with the next, whatever that brings....
i am new to this forum a. I am looking to be castrated but where i live it can only be done in hospital...Can all of you give me some advises or tips hoe to fake medical reason so the urologyst can remove me testicles? Iread about injections, but don't like them..Is there any other method?
