vaporous entities and musings (in other words - BS)

[Dave (imported)]

Justified, winner of the Kentucky Derby, won the Preakness

[Dave (imported)]

According to THE ONION -- Starbucks is now begging people to use its washrooms to masturbate and do drugs.

[Dave (imported)]

Consider this testimony from THE PEOPLE'S COURT:

"It was my Mother who mooned the neighbor. I didn't"

[Dave (imported)]

Over six months ago, a telemarketer was so persistent on my cellphone that I saved the phone number and ave it the name of "I'm an asshole, don't answer me" ...

And in a day or two, I forgot about it.

Now today, over 6 months later, my cellphone lights up with the caller ID -- "I'm an asshole don't answer me"

Gee, it worked. I didn't answer it.

[Dave (imported)]

SATURDAY’S FACTOID:

“Experimental results from the XENON1T dark matter detector limit the effective size of dark matter particles to one-trillionth of one-trillionth of a centimeter squared -- the most stringent limit yet determined for dark matter as established by the world's most sensitive detector.”

[Dave (imported)]

Question: What's your ideal date...

Answer: The end of April, early May because you only need a light jacket

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

Normally, I don't say much, because I often don't know much about any given topic, but DATES, I KNOW A LOT ABOUT DATES! Since I know so damn much about dates, I have some very strong opinions about them, and of course I will generously share my opinions with you! YOU are just so lucky to get my tremendous knowledge offered for FREE!

First, the very best dates are from the Arabian peninsula, Omani dates and Saudi Arabian dates if you can get them. Moroccan dates are a DISTANT second in flavor, but they are OK, finally, dates from southern California, around Bard and Winterhaven are good, but all to often the American date producers coat their dates with granular sugar, and that sucks! Seriously, if the date is good, it is entirely good WITHOUT any sugar added to it.

Second, the Arabs KNOW a lot about dates, even more than I do (and I know damn near everything). Dates are amazingly nutritious and healthy. The Arabs knew that the average man could survive on as little as eleven dates per day (and of course a lot of water).

Thirdly, dates can be eaten at any phase, green or ripe, and though the ripe ones clearly offer more nutrition, even the green ones will feed you. The Arabs classify dates by four phases ripeness, first is "khala," the initial green date, sour but edible, then there is "bala," bigger and fuller than the "khala" phase but still green and sour, then there is "taymur," which is the first "ripe" and sweet phase, finally there is "rutab," which is the truly ripe and full flavored date that you see in the market, but the "rutab" is pressed into a block form, a really practical way to carry a lot of nutrition in a small package. By the way, have you ever tasted a tamarind? Tamarinds are NOT dates, but the word for tamarind comes for the Arab word for "Indian date," see, the Arabs first encountered tamarind in their trade with India, and they found the tamarind (when it is ripe) very similar in taste, texture and consistency to their own "taymur" phase of dates, so they called this odd bean looking fruit from India "Taymur Hindi" (Indian date), and when tamarind found it's way to Europeans via Arab traders, the word became "Tamarind."

If you are ever fortunate enough to travel to the Middle East, I strongly encourage you to try some real Arabian dates, they have a richer flavor than the dates you can find in the U.S.

[Freddyjack (imported)]

What's the hardest job in the world?

a) Medical

b) cabbie

c) teacher

d) factory

e) blow

f) Garbage man

g) lumberjack

hardest job in the world is being a single parent to two teenage boys

[Arab Nights (imported)]

I KNOW A LOT ABOUT DATES!.

No comments on sighted vs. blind dates? My limited experience with blind dates is that you really have to hand it to her.

[Dave (imported)]

hardest job in the world is being a single parent to two teenage boys

Especially when they reach the "Portnoy's Complaint" stage...