Seriously think about chemcial castration

[keeper216 (imported)]

So i was referred to this site by asexuality.org. I posted questions on there and they told me about this site. So I am a 20 year old male. I have flirted with the idea of castration since I was 16. I never gave in any serious thought because its pretty permanent, but about 2 months ago i saw on the show Elementary about chemical castration. I never liked sex. The idea of it was a pleasant but the actual practice is disgusting. I dated a girl for about two weeks (not that long i know), we never had sex but its like I almost couldn't control myself. We didn't do anything but i hated that feeling. I hated those urges. I'm not religious, so it's not anything that has to do with belief. I never want to feel that way again. The whole experience was extremely unpleasant. I really don't want to get into. My questions to you guys is: What drugs? Where can I get them online? and What is your experience? I have already made the decision to chemical castrate myself, chemical because i don't know the future so there may be some situation that I want to stop and I heard that all you have to do is stop taking the drugs and eventually thing will go back to normal. I want to hear your experience not because it will convince me but to help set my mind to easy and make the process easier. I would like not to go to a doctor because I'm very anti-social (it runs in my blood, my dad is a hermit, my grandfather was a hermit so on and so forth) and because i don't want anyone in my family to get wind of this. Not because I'm afraid of there reaction (they would be supportive) but because they wouldn't able to comprehend my decision or my situation. They would try their hardest but nothing they could do would make them understand. Being surrounded by people who support you is nice. But to me being surrounded by people who simply can not comprehend the situation is just as bad or worst then having no one. They would be over sensitive, they would look at me differently trying to understand why I did it. My mother is what I call an old Christan, she isn't very open to many things. She is pretty good at hiding when she doesn't like something so that she doesn't rub people the wrong way, but because I'm her child and have lived with her almost my entire life I can tell. Most of my family is also Christan (just me and my oldest brother aren't but I'm not sure because me and him never really had a true conversation). Like is said before I have already made the decision I just want to know how much it changed you life, simply to try to set my mind to ease. I heard of two drugs Depo-Provera and Androcur. I also want to know if there are an equipment I would have to get so that I can monitor myself, like if I start to lose bone density. So I pretty much want your entire experience. Also the dose too. I may have other questions as the conversation continues. Also if any monitor believe that this topic doesn't belong in the topic area i have no problem with it being moved.

[JesusA (imported)]

I need to take some time to compose a proper (and probably very long) response to all that you've asked in your first post, BUT, your profile says that you are in Minnesota. One very simple way to get good, solid, accurate feedback would be to attend all or part of the annual gathering of the Eunuch Archive community. It will be held in August in Minneapolis and one of its suburbs.

Thursday, August 21st will be an evening BBQ at the house of Kristoff in Minneapolis. On Friday some (most?) of the crew will probably spend the day at the Minnesota State Fair or visit the Mall of America. Saturday and Sunday will be spent at the home of Talula in a nearby suburb of Minneapolis. There will probably be about 20 to 25 folk there who could help you with any questions that you have. All registered members of the Eunuch Archive are invited for what will be our TENTH annual gathering.

[keeper216 (imported)]

I don't have a car and there is the whole extremely anti-social part, ill get over it eventually but slow steps. Going to a BBQ is a step too far for me right now. Maybe later when I feel more comfortable.

[fhunter]

First of all, welcome .

As for the questions - the drugs: depo provera, injectable, injections are not frequent, then there is cyproterone acetate (pills, you'll need to take that daily/twice a day). There are other antiandrogens differing by the method of action and safety.

If you haven't, read those two threads: http://forums.eunuch.org/showthread.php ... This-First and http://forums.eunuch.org/showthread.php ... feminizing .

Just remember, after some time changes can become permanent. The time in question differs from individual to individual, but the commonly told point of irreversible changes starts at about 6 months on chemical castration.

Oh, and do not change dosage abruptly and be patient. And at least try to monitor hormone levels and liver function, long term use of chemical castration can cause problems with the liver.

Can't say anything about getting drugs online, in the place where I live I was able to get antiandrogens almost over the counter.

One more point - even if you say, you are anti-social, be prepared to emotional changes. So, at least try to find someone to turn to and talk. It would help. Depression is also a real possibility. Oh, and being unable to turn to the family for support (and concealing something longterm) - that adds to the emotional burden, that I can say from experience.

One more point - as I said, that you should be patient, getting back from chemical castration to normal levels will take a long time (no less than a month, and you have real possibility to not return back to what you were. Also you have the possibility of ending up sterile).

May be I'll have more to say, as I think about the questions.

Additions:

Also, be ready, you will change physically. It is not only lowering of bone density, you'll lose muscle and strength and unless you are active, and stick to the diet, you will probably gain weight. You'll also get fat redistribution to a more female pattern.

Also - hormonal changes cause hot flashes, and that is quite unpleasant.

[keeper216 (imported)]

So this there any kind of kit like a blood test kit or something I should get so that I can monitor myself? I also was looking through a form to find out what Dihydrotestosterone was and found something about Equipoise it helped stop the loss of muscle mass?

http://forums.eunuch.org/showthread.php?1

5649-testosterone-and-dihydrotestosterone&highlight=Dihydrotestosterone

[spinwindy (imported)]

Personally I'd advise you to speak to someone about your attitude to sex, how the thought of it made you feel and how and why you saw the act itself as "disgusting" Hanging around here or assexuality.org you may find opinions that reinforce your current thinking, maybe it would be a good idea to discuss how you feel with someone coming from a more neutral or opposite standpoint so that you can get into it and really ask yourself why you think the way you do. I wouldn't advise that you start any kind of regime of chemical castration without really exploring why you feel the need in the first place. I know your not going to want to hear this but at 20 years old you still have a lot of time to consider castration and it's implecations, it's not a walk in the park and you may well be exchanging one set of problems or issues for another that you might not be able to recover from or rectify should you change your mind.

[spinwindy (imported)]

An after thought. Sounds like you're worried about muscle loss, well this is something that will be a reality and it needs a lot of work to maintain, it won't be easy and you wont be as strong as you could be without the chemicals. As motivated as you may feel at the moment expect this to change. You will feminise to a degree both physically and mentally. You may find yourself crying for no reason, you may have mood swings. Your motivation to do stuff may well decrease, you may get depressed, this condition feeds on itself. The less you do the less you wanna do and so on and so on . . . Taking meds like cyproterone etc puts a strain on your organs and it's not a long term option realistically so you'll need to consider surgery at some time for health reason and then you'll have other health considerations, some that you mentioned yourself. You'll be opening a can of worms and getting the lid back on, you may miss a few, cut the tails or heads off some and your can probably wont be quite the same there after . . . Give it some serious consideration before you do anything, you owe it to yourself

[Paolo]

The BBQ is a smaller function, the first night everyone comes in.

Your loss...

[keeper216 (imported)]

Yeah I know sucks being anit-social, having no car doesn't really help that lol.

[LCP123456 (imported)]

Keeper216 Give it some thought. I used calcium chloride mixed with lidocaine to numb up my nuts, reduce swelling and kill my testicles. I also injected lidocaine into the top of my scrodum, (it did burn for about 10 seconds) before I injected CC medicine into each 1/3 of each nut. I also took some strong pain medication called Tramal Capsules, it is like codine. My pain was minimal because of the Tramal Capsules. I took 1 when the pain started, then took another 1 1.5 hours later... I fell asleep, and every time I woke up, I took another Tramal... Essentially, I woke up 3 days after the CC injection, my nuts were swollen but the pain was not bad, only painful to the touch. After 5 days my nuts were numb. By the end of 30 days (1 month) they were shrinking fast.. Now they are gone, along with erections and sex drive. Let me know OK?