Regrets about castration

[Jorge2008 (imported)]

Interesting comment by SplitDik. I understand that you were rich, healthy and masculine looking. So why didn't you just find one or two lovers? Instead of paying the prostitutes. I barely make ends meet and am below average looking, so indeed I can't hire prostitutes so often and I am unable to find a decent looking partner. So I was on chem castration since May last year but had to give up Triptorelin injections as I have no money for that at the moment.

Yeah, I had zero regrets while my T was low so that I barely masturbated. But my urges are now back again and I will restart Triptorelin as soon as I get enough money again.

I would say that while I've come to terms with the non-reversible damage I've done to my genitals, I do regret that I ever had the urges in the first place. I was/am truly blessed with having everything go my way in life. Physically I was always the tallest, strongest, person around. Healthy, happy, successful. But my mind was always obsessed with sex, from very early age (by 9 I could barely concentrate in class thinking about sex) and that turned into desire to be free from such urges (which are torture when you don't have any chance of sexual relationship for a decade while battling these urges) which turned into desire for castration. I damaged myself in so many ways. Yet I know that my body (including my genitals) were really beautiful and healthy. But the urge was there, continuous, and severe. I ended up in the hospital so many times with them repairing damage I'd done. Finally a year and a half ago I convinced a girl to inject calcium chloride and that was pretty much it for the balls.

I know it was inevitable, so can't say I regret that it happened. It had to happen. I couldn't find any other cure. I tried going really libertine and frequenting prostitutes (I was rich enough early in life due to founding a tech startup that I could pay for up to two high class prostitutes every night! I am not joking that I spent over $2M on prostitutes.) and also tried going the other way with meditation and Zen monasteries, and also tried anti-depressants, exercise, everything. I just couldn't shake my horniness.

So it happened. I don't regret it. But I regret that I was built such that I had to do such self-harm to what was otherwise a beautiful and healthy body.

[erikboy (imported)]

As much as I remember there has been well known few cases here on EA, where person who just got castrated falls into deep depression. Or is trying to reason his decision after it has happened, failing to convince himself that it was a good thing to get castrated. By now all they are long gone and I do not remember recent cases. I am afraid that these threads are also gone. One was from year 2004 as I remember.

It is very typical that people after their testosterone plummet close to zero, loose interest in this forum and vanish not giving much feedback.

Regretting castration is a known problem and thus chemical trial is suggested as the best alternative to non reversible orchiectomy. Also chemical route is less harsh, giving time to adapt with less pleasant effects. From what I have read people react to castration very diffent. So it is not possible to predict how castration could affect any single person.

Wisdom, this forum has gathered here, is to try out and decide only after. And avoid non medical castrators. Quite simple. Hopefully this has reduced regrets as well.

[Swedeman (imported)]

If you do it for the thrill of it you most likely will be unhappy, this is something you have to be serious with in your decision.

[sparso71 (imported)]

Are there any men out there that are unhappy because they gave up a pair of perfectly healthy testicles to a cutter for the thrill of it?

I have been reading the forum for a long time. I have seen other threads where a person has asked if anyone has any regrets. Most of the replies have been by the regulars, and all of the answers have generally been that there are no regrets, often that the person wishes the castration had been years earlier. The regular posters also mention that to avoid regrets, the castration has to have been for the right reasons: pain, cancer, image dysphoria, M2F switch, transgender issues, etc. On a recent thread I read, the first reply was a response that we have discussed this over and over again and redirections to previous threads which said about the same things. But, any all of the comments I have seen there is NEVER anyone who says they made a mistake and regrets their decision.

Many of the comments strongly cautioned that those who seek castration for fantasy reasons or for sexual thrill reasons, are going to be ultimately disappointed and unhappy with their decision to get get castrated. It clearly is a forum policy to strongly advise against using non-physician cutters. This certainly seems to be good common sense. However, my guess is that many of the castrated posters who do not regret their decision were done by non-physican, non-medical cutters.

However, I have never seen a post by an unhappy eunuch regretting what happened, or saying that he wishes he had listened to the advice to be cautious, or advising others who are sexually excited by the topic to not go through with it. Perhaps, those that have made the poor decision simply do not post their unhappy results, or leave EA for good, but it seems there would be at least a few unhappy castratees out there.

The posters on the forums, it seems, are mainly those old eunuchs that created this wonderful website and give good conservative safe advice, both because of their experience and wisdom, but, I think also, because politically, they don't want the site taken down for advocating unsafe sexual practices.

There is a distinct philosophical difference between what is found in the forums and what is found in the stories.

Are there any man out there that are unhappy because they gave up a pair of perfectly healthy testicles for the thrill of it?

I would also suggest going the chemical castraton first of all just in case. I think about it if under the direction of a doctor where they need to come off would approve that in a second but to remove them still healthy you need to really be sure. Like you said once they are removed they do not grow back and happy or not that is your state. Really wonder sometimes why you would go on HRt if you really wanted to have them off what would be the point? But then if I had mine off would want to loose the sack at least as well.

[Silenzio (imported)]

As a long time reader of this forum altought not a frequent writer (because this is not my mother language), I can remember at least one or two cases of men who regretted their castration: the one of them that I remember clearly was a young man from England (maybe 20-24 y.o.), who went in US to undergoing surgery by dr. Spector, and after some week fall in depression and deeply regretted his decision. I don't remember his nickname, but he was a great contributor of this forum, but he disappeared completely. Some time after, he was interviewed by an English tv program and talked in public about his story.

[SplitDik (imported)]

Interesting comment by SplitDik. I understand that you were rich, healthy and masculine looking. So why didn't you just find one or two lovers?

I don't think you quite understood -- I had plenty of access to women who would have sex with me: not only did I have a girlfriend, but also had two prostitutes exclusive (cost $2k per girl per day!) every day for over 6 years. I did everything, watched everything, you can imagine that women can do sexually, and I on average orgasmed up to 10 times per day -- and still was consumed by sex addiction. The one thing I'm glad about is that my tastes were pretty "normal' except for liking S&M. I never was into kids, raping, flashing, eating poop or anything that society generally reviles; but nicely developed adult women drive me crazy -- I could watch them all day and night and never get enough. It was very distracting.

Basically it met true definition of addiction -- I would let it adversely affect my life. I spent a ton of money, I risked disease, I would choose to have sex over other obligations to work and family, and so on.

It is really a terrible trap to be addicted to something inside you -- the drug was manufactured by my own body and mind! It would be like giving a heroin addict a magical bag of heroin that never went empty!

[baldwin92 (imported)]

Do I regret having been castrated? The answer would be no. However, do I have regrets after being castrated, yes. The biggest regret is, no erections. I enjoyed a good hard one but haven't had one since. I should note though, I hadn't had a erection for a few months before my castration. As noted by some others, subsequently my penis has shrunk to pretty much just the glans. Also I am not real happy with my bigger softer rear end. Thankfully no breast growth. Based on the fact I have broken two bones, i would have to say my bones are weaker.

Many would ask why don't I take testosterone replacement? First my doctor would not prescribe it based on my family history of prostate cancer and two, the copay is more than I can afford if I did have prescription.

So regrets yes but satisfied is also yes. I love not having testicles hanging there and despite my tiny penis my body looks like I have always wanted.

[eunuch2001 (imported)]

No regrets. Life has been better since castration because I am calmer and have gained confidence, and ironically I now feel like a complete person. I love being a castrated man.

[dagmar20040404 (imported)]

To SpltDik,

Your responses to my question about regret were very passionate and clearly heartfelt. For a very long time, I have admired your cogent responses on this forum on various topics.

On this topic, you make it clear that you suffered from a sexual addiction. Your revelations that for years you have had the means to satisfy that addiction are enlightening.

You wrote,

". .

. But my mind was always obsessed with sex, from very early age (by 9 I could barely concentrate in class thinking about sex) and that turned into desire to be free from such urges (which are torture when you don't have any chance of sexual relationship for a decade while battling these urges) which turned into desire for castration. I damaged myself in so many ways. Yet I know that my body (including my genitals) were really beautiful and healthy. But the urge was there, continuous, and severe. I ended up in the hospital so many times with them repairing damage I'd done. Finally a year and a half ago I convinced a girl to inject calcium chloride and that was pretty much it for the balls.

"

It is my understanding from your reply here and the subsequent reply later in this topic, that you were aware of your addiction. Your solution to the problem of addiction was castration. In your case it was with calcium chloride injections into the testicles.

I take it that your testicular function was destroyed over time, over the course of a year or so, because you seem to indicate that you are feeling better and are less controlled by your urges.

It is interesting to me that you didn't go to a physician to get prescription of anti-androgenic medication that would have reduced your urges and could have functioned as a conditional (temporary) non-surgical, non-permanent castration, but rather, sought solution by "non-medical" means, by getting injections of an uncontrolled substance from a non-medical person, in particular, a woman. I venture to suggest, even, that the woman who injected you was nude, and that the injections were part of a sexual scene and followed by sexual activity.

I am not criticizing. Don't get me wrong. I think it is hot, very hot, indeed. But, I don't think that it is any different than having your balls removed by a non-medical cutter in a surgical castration scene, only that the cutter produces results faster -- once the cords are cut and the balls extracted, it is done. The injection of calcium chloride takes weeks to months and multiple injections to accomplish the results. But, both are done in a sexual scene.

My guess is that many of those "seniors" in this forum that advocate caution also had their testicles removed in a sexual scene and didn't have a "pre-trial" of hormone therapy to see how they would tolerate the castration state.

I don't mind the sage advice by the old guard of this website, but I do object to the hypocrisy. There is too much political correctness on this forum by those seniors who fear EA will be shut down by the invisible overseers.

[janekane (imported)]

I did not bother with a hormone therapy (testosterone suppression) "pre-trial" as I had become profoundly concerned about my risk of dying soon from cancer, in the summer of 1986, from a probable genetic condition. At the time of my orchiectomy, my brother had already developed terminal cancer from that condition, not then correctly known or recognized medically; the diagnosis, "attenuated familial adenomatous polyposis" was not in the medical literature until several years after my orchiectomy.

In my view, as a bioengineer and as an apparently decently competent theoretical biologist, I had come to recognize that some sort of genetic cancer factor was at work in my close family and that factor had tended to result in terminal cancer being well-developed well before the first clinical sign of cancer presented itself. It turns out that my grasp of theoretical biology and of bioengineering allowed me to recognize my risk, with "terrible" accuracy, well before any physician recognized it.

I also understood, with about as much certainty as I think may ever be humanly possible, that I was biologically somewhere in the multi-dimensional realm of gender diversity well outside the range that is commonly, socially, deemed normal. What is normal for me may not be normal for someone else.

Have I ever experienced any form of regret regarding my orchiectomy, or how I went about finding a doctor to do it? If so, it surely must have been for much less than an attosecond, in total, over my entire life until now...

I recently learned that the urologist who informed me of his view of how I might find a doctor to do the orchiectomy has died in old age. By doing as that urologist suggested, I did find a doctor, in 1986, and did get a very safe orchiectomy, done with enough skill that I was at work the next day, without any noteworthy complications.

What did I do to find that doctor? Perhaps because of the way in which I have been given to be autistic, I was able to use a grasp of biology that hugely overwhelmed the doctors I consulted, doing that until a doctor agreed to do the orchiectomy. Some folks have described the experience of my providing ever increasing, ever more minute detail, in the pursuit of what I regard as a worthy goal as like "brain frying." Perhaps it is fair and truthful to allow that I was able to so 'brain-fry" doctors with my understanding that they exhausted all the objections to doing my orchiectomy that they could think of...

However, yesterday, as may be noted from my Eunuch Archive profile, and from the fact that my brother died from cancer when he was 50, I seem to be approaching 150% of his life-span.

For that, I am grateful. Being grateful for being alive at my yet-young age, how on earth, or elsewhere, could I ever find a regret about my orchiectomy?