The Mortal Instruments - City of Bones

[Dave (imported)]

What an entertaining mass of tripe this is.

(First, let me say that I am not watching most of these movies on Pay-Per-View. I have subscriptions to HBO and STARZ. I resisted "premium" channels for a long time until The SOPRANOS and SPARTACUS.)

THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS - CITY OF BONES is a great idea but the result is nothing but a wild ride of teen movie cliche. The actual CITY OF BONES could be awe inspiring and breathtaking but is fluffed away with cheesy humor.

This movie doesn't wait to develop a character. Not in the least. It starts with strange occurrences in a teenage girl's life -- a murder in a nightclub - and then goes from there. The blond boy with runic tattoos that no one else sees, the single mother running away from monsters, a witch, a book store-curio shop owner with magical gifts, Swordplay on the streets.

And then she discovers that she's a Shadowhunter and her family is somehow blessed by an angel to fight demons. Her mother was the keeper of a CUP (think tarot cards here) and the last six or seven Shadowhunters living in a big house (did I say the last of the line of Shadowhunters) all have dread secrets and hidden pasts.

Then there's werewolves. What could they be but bikers. Definitely not cute muscle boys. That's the other movie.

But they do fight a gang of vampires who aren't cute muscle boys with sighing teenage girls.

BUT The MORTAL INSTRUMENTS has much more action, nearly non-stop amongst the teenage angst, lots of teen angst, lots of action. That's its formula.

Why there's even boy on boy teen angst, hinted at.

And black crusty demons.

And "Luke I am your father"

And more Tarot cards.

And don't ask why are they running here and fighting, running there and fighting, running back and fighting, meeting up and fighting, running again and fighting, and in and out of that PORTAL.. Wish and the mirror takes you there. When you wish upon a star (sorry, not that studio with the big amusement parks)

I thought I saw that PORTAL in every episode of STARGATE?

So in summary. Nice idea but not an original thought in the movie.

However, it does entertain if you don't ask "why are they doing this?" and let it flicker before your eyes.

[A-1 (imported)]

...gotta watch those "teens" and their "boners" and the "portals" that they frequent.

[Dave (imported)]

...

And "Luke I am your father"

...

A-1:

please re-read that line carefully.

There are no boners (erections) and alL the teen romance angst comes down to that (now a big cliche) line -- "Luke, I am your father"

It's a Young Adult Novel and not Nabokov's Lolita.