Hitching A Ride

[Chris1115 (imported)]

Zipper seems to be a talented writer from what I've read. Good grammatical sentence structure, spelling, and use of quotations (without overuse/misuse), but I have to admit that this last story disappointed me a small amount. In one of Paolo's posts in sub-forum he states:

"Mentioning a castration in passing in the last paragraph doesn't get it, folks. The plot has to be ABOUT castration, not just a thought of it as if it were just a passing detail."

Regrettably, this story only devoted a few sentences to the topic at the very end, and very vaguely at that. I, for one, am hoping that Zipper writes a sequel to the story in which there is perhaps a flashback so we know what occurred/was experienced. I hope this is taken as constructive criticism, because I really do think you're a good writer, Zipper.

[zipoid67 (imported)]

Thank you for the input. Your criticism is well taken.

[BullGator (imported)]

I certainly hope for more Zipper stories, they are always alot of fun to read.

[JesusA (imported)]

I read very little of the fiction here, and then generally only those stories with interesting reviews. Chris' review led me to this one. It's very well written and stands perfectly without any further description of what happens to the hero in the future. A very nice, short piece.

I have read some of Zipper's stories in the past and find his detailed description of the western landscape to provide an excellent background to his work. It drags you in to a time and place far better than an anonymous location.

[Chris1115 (imported)]

I agree with Jesus, Zipper's stories are always great to read, but I just felt this last entry had a bit of a rushed ending. I really do hope my opinion doesn't discourage him from writing more as I meant no malice in my original post. Hopefully we'll find out more about the trip east.

[zipoid67 (imported)]

Zipper welcomes constructive criticism and it is always helpful. Like all stories, this one seemed okay while I was writing and tuning it, however reading it now I have to admit that it is lacking. Maybe we are just assuming that the kid was castrated. Perhaps the perv merely slit his bag open and messed with him a little before stitching him back up for the trucker to play with?

Anyway, in my defense, writers are at their best writing about stuff they know. I know about being young and broke, also about losing my cherry to an older woman, and I know the difference between a good bj and an absolutely fantastic one. I also know about hitchhiking and getting picked up by creepy guys, and unfortunately, what some of them have in mind. However, I don't know about getting my balls cut off.

[nonconsensual (imported)]

Keep up the good work, love the story. I just let my imagination go to work after the story ended. He was just sold off to someone.