things not to do when you wreck your car

[Dave (imported)]

I think we all need relief from the weather but (please don't make me say anything more than) not this, not this, not this, not this, not this, not this, mumble, not this, mutter, not this

http://www.mediaite.com/online/nsfw-phi ... s-himself/

This might be one of the stranger stories you’ll hear this week (not to mention seriously NSFW). A New Jersey man crashed his car into a Crown Fried Chicken in Philadelphia this week. That sounds relatively normal, except for the fact that after the car crash, he got out of his car, took his clothes off, and proceeded to pleasure himself. So.

Vincent Wade was charged with DUI, and is expected to also be charged with open lewdness and indecent exposure for revealing himself in public. It should be noted that all this happened just 400 feet from an elementary school.

Wade has, in fact, been arrested for DUI before, so this week’s was his fourth. The police report does not mention the masturbation, but someone who caught video of the scene told Philly Mag, “Oh, he was most definitely making himself feel happy.”

If you’ve come this far and haven’t gagged just a little yet, that means you can probably handle watching this video from the scene below, via Philly Mag (again, NSFW):

That's seventeen seconds I wish my eyes had never seen. . .

[A-1 (imported)]

...it looked to me like he was wiping his ass with his finger...

[Dave (imported)]

He stuck a finger up his ass which is really a rude and nasty thing to do when masturbating in public.

COme to think of it, undressing and masturbating in public is rude and nasty to start with.

[A-1 (imported)]

Stinkfinger...

Hmmm... could be another parody of a James Bond flick.