Penis stuck in toaster

[Dave (imported)]

>>My first thought was "WTF IS THAT THING DOING IN A TOASTER?

>>

>>

Man Gets Penis Stuck In Toaster, Firefighters Carry Out Hard Rescue

Posted: 10/08/2013 1:44 pm EDT | Updated: 10/08/2013 4:49 pm EDT

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/0 ... d&ir=World

In his defense, that toaster gives good bread.

An unidentified London man is nursing his knob after firefighters had to extract his penis from a toaster. It's unclear how the gentleman got it in there, but London's bravest were there to butter his bread, The Mirror reports.

Jokes aside, London appears to have a penis problem. MSN reports that firefighters in the area have dealt with too many lodged members over the past three years.

"I don't know whether it's the 'Fifty Shades' effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up," London firefighter Dave Brown said.

Firefighters didn't say when the incident occurred, but they released the story in an attempt to stop people from having sex with their appliances -- or getting into other kinds of embarrassing trouble that diverts resources from emergency services.

According to The Mirror, crews have responded to:

In the last three years the capital’s fire crews have been called out to:

18 incidents involving children with their heads stuck in potties or toilet seats.

Five incidents involving people’s hands being stuck in shredders.

79 incidents involving people being trapped in handcuffs.

Nine instances of men with rings stuck on their penises.

Four incidents where people had their hands stuck in blenders.

17 incidents involving children with their fingers stuck in toys, including one with Lego stuck on his finger.

There have been 1,300 calls since 2010 to London crews reporting that something is "trapped or stuck."

[jcat (imported)]

Hi Dave, We like toast and marmalade for breakfast over here and clearly the odd sausage on toast too!

[Riverwind (imported)]

Dave, this is a very disturbing story, tell us more.

Toaster for sale, penis approved.

River

[Dave (imported)]

I don't know much more than is in the story.

All I can say is if it is plugged in and turned on, it's going to get toasty ...

Or if he shorts the electric element and grounds himself, then he's toast ...

[C&TL2745 (imported)]

I'm trying to imagine what the guy was thinking when he stuck his penis into the toaster. A meat grinder or shredder I can understand. A SodaStream bottle I can understand. I can even relate to the guys with rings on their penises or the guy I heard about years ago who stuck his penis through the hole in a circular saw blade. But a toaster?? Maybe he was having trouble getting it to pop up? Or maybe a stubborn piece of toast got stuck in there and he'd heard you shouldn't stick your fingers into a toaster. Every scenario I can think of is hilarious. Thanks for the giggles, Dave.

Sandi

[Dave (imported)]

I once heard of men sticking their penises into vacuum cleaners...

Now I can understand the hose because the air vibrates the penis but these guys were all the way into the machine near the blade and when they turned the vacuum on, the swirling blade cut their head off -- or severely mangled it...

Amazing what a penis will do...

[jcat (imported)]

Maybe this is where the saying 'Dick head' came from! I have been looking at my toaster with awe since reading this and am going to be careful I don't fall into it.

[Mac (imported)]

Can't even imagine anybody sticking it in a toaster. However, I did put it in the vacuum cleaner hose.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

Last night David Letterman did his "Top Ten" list on the subject of what the penis-in-toaster-man was thinking when he did it. It was very funny. --FLO--

[jcat (imported)]

Uncle Flo, Come on spill all I have been in hysterics all day sharing this story.

I cannot imagine why one would use a toaster either for destruction or erotica.