What exactly "is" sexual frustration and how, if at all, can it be permanently killed

[iamdaniel (imported)]

How do we think of sexual frustration in light of desire and the biological drive for sexual activity? Here's what I mean: If I am a generally tense person, and sexual intercourse with someone provides a period of life and calm -- as it is known to do -- does this mean that the tension resulting from abstinence is the to be expected relief resulting from giving something your body naturally demands(I hesitate to say "needs", since it's not a need the way food is), and as such, elimination of the sex drive via chemical castration would free one from the tension that would otherwise result from abstinence, or is the calm and sense of well-being resulting from sexual intercourse better understood as the result of a huge release of pleasure-inducing neurotransmitters and hormones(dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, etc.)?

I ask this because I'm wondering if I'll still experience sexual frustration simply because I am no longer providing myself with massive releases of neurotransmitters and hormones, whose function in this case is to temporarily relieve an otherwise natural state of tension, or if the tension that is relieved by sexual intercourse is itself the result of the body's natural craving, which can be eliminated along with the tension it produces.

[kristoff]

Interesting question, and one to which I have no scientific answer. I suspect one would have to establish a scientific experiment to determine.

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

From my personal experience, it really is that there is a natural state of tension there, which only eases for brief periods of time during the release of pleasure hormones. I just started chemical-castration, just over a week ago. And I can still vividly recall the way that I felt for the 27 years before that. My moments of total inner peace were extremely rare, maybe a few times a year at the most. Every other day, there was just this pent-up sense of anger and frustration in varying levels... my brain felt like it was slogging through life, never truly happy, and always at least a little tense. It was always much worse near the end of the sexual-release cycle, (scientific studies have indeed confirmed that T levels start rising when someone hasn't orgasmed in a long time.) I felt this constantly for most of my life. But then, just within the last week, for the first time, there has been a sense of inner peace taking over instead of inner frustration. I don't feel that "need" to release anymore, it's become more of a want. And I do feel naturally relaxed now, and naturally happy instead of like I was competitive and on-edge and that my sex drive was a foreign invader. (My T levels have always been low, though, and I went through puberty late, so maybe this is why I've never felt comfortable with it? I don't know.) I do still feel a little bit of that need-to-release feeling occasionally, but it's now very rare... it's like the frequency of the feelings of peace and the feelings of frustration have now flip-flopped.

Anyway, that's my experience. Perhaps you should look into something called the "eunuch calm." It's generally described as something along the lines of a lack of desire... your body just does not crave the same kinds of emotional highs and lows anymore, and settles down into a more even-keel.

[iamdaniel (imported)]

From my personal experience, it really is that there is a natural state of tension there, which only eases for brief periods of time during the release of pleasure hormones. I just started chemical-castration, just over a week ago. And I can still vividly recall the way that I felt for the 27 years before that. My moments of total inner peace were extremely rare, maybe a few times a year at the most. Every other day, there was just this pent-up sense of anger and frustration in varying levels... my brain felt like it was slogging through life, never truly happy, and always at least a little tense. It was always much worse near the end of the sexual-release cycle, (scientific studies have indeed confirmed that T levels start rising when someone hasn't orgasmed in a long time.) I felt this constantly for most of my life. But then, just within the last week, for the first time, there has been a sense of inner peace taking over instead of inner frustration. I don't feel that "need" to release anymore, it's become more of a want. And I do feel naturally relaxed now, and naturally happy instead of like I was competitive and on-edge and that my sex drive was a foreign invader. (My T levels have always been low, though, and I went through puberty late, so maybe this is why I've never felt comfortable with it? I don't know.) I do still feel a little bit of that need-to-release feeling occasionally, but it's now very rare... it's like the frequency of the feelings of peace and the feelings of frustration have now flip-flopped.

Anyway, that's my experience.

Thanks for your response! How are you going about chemical castration?

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

Thanks for your response! How are you going about chemical castration?

Self-medication, from an internet pharmacy. (Not recommended unless you do a lot of research into the proper medications, dosages, effects, and risk factors first, as this is NOT something to mess around with unless you really know what you're doing.) Plus, as with everything we talk about on this site, your mileage may vary, so while some will feel calmer and more at peace, others have the potential to feel depressed or extra-moody. There are a lot of different potential experiences in regards to the effects. You know, though, there's a LOT of great information available on this site about this, so it's a great place to start. Make sure you know what you're doing first. Erikboy made a great thread about doing a chem-castration trial, and the stickies in the "Chem Castration and Hormones" forum have some excellent information as well. Check them out.

Also, I should mention that I'm more of a MtF transsexual rather than a MtE like the majority on here, so I'm on estrogen in addition to chem-castration, and as such my experience is probably a bit different than the other experiences here.

[bobover3 (imported)]

For what it's worth, I've read of scientific research showing that men feel tense, anxious, aggressive, unhappy, etc., from an insufficiency of testosterone. Popular culture would have it the other way around, but it seems the male body requires a certain level of testosterone to feel "right." Too little can cause trouble.

Women's response to testosterone is the opposite of men's. (Women also have small amounts of testosterone produced by the adrenal glands.) Women feel increasingly uncomfortable if their testosterone level is raised.

Of course, a man's need for testosterone may change after castration. I don't have evidence for this, but it would be consistent with what many report.

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

For what it's worth, I've read of scientific research showing that men feel tense, anxious, aggressive, unhappy, etc., from an insufficiency of testosterone. Popular culture would have it the other way around, but it seems the male body requires a certain level of testosterone to feel "right." Too little can cause trouble.

Women's response to testosterone is the opposite of men's. (Women also have small amounts of testosterone produced by the adrenal glands.) Women feel increasingly uncomfortable if their testosterone level is raised.

Of course, a man's need for testosterone may change after castration. I don't have evidence for this, but it would be consistent with what many report.

Hmm... that's odd... I guess I really am not the one to ask, then. Because I've always had low T levels. (This makes me suspect that I have a more female brain, because my levels of sexual frustration were MUCH worse back in my late teens and early-20's when my T levels were higher, and have gone away almost completely now that I'm on T-blockers and estrogen.)

Okay, so discard what I said. Any non-transsexuals want to chip in?

[Wellesley (imported)]

I had the highest level of sexual frustration when I only had one testicle. I think it was kicked in to producing more T.

Before the last one was removed though it had been shutting down as my T level was 271, extremely low for a 32 year old man.

Now on T replacement I rarely have the same levels of frustration, however I live a life that does not often put me in contact with women. My wife had a radical hysterectomy, is totally asexual as a result. I am not physically close to any other women really. Previously living in Tokyo and being packed on crowded trains, young women everywhere was a larger problem.

[considering (imported)]

Perhaps Shakespeare comes as close to an all encompassing definition when he wrote, "Tell me then, where is passion bred? In the heart or in the head?" He was completely aware of genitalia, then known as privities, as he mentions them on occasion. In his comedies. Shame, really, he didn't "do in" Henry VIII but then Henry's daughter was then on the throne and may have taken umbrage. Or not. In the words of the late, great slide pianist, Fats Waller, "One never knows. Do one." One cannot separate Pere Henri from his privities; They were hung in a bag in front of him. For those of us who are without a full set of privities, the return to cod piece wearing would require either stuffing or the truth.

[unencumbered (imported)]

Now on T replacement I rarely have the same levels of frustration, however I live a life that does not often put me in contact with women. My wife had a radical hysterectomy, is totally asexual as a result.

For you, doesn't the addition of supplemental T increase your libido and make you sexually frustrated since there is no release? For me, over time, it did increase my sexual drive somewhat but not anywhere near to what it was before. However, I have since eschewed using it altogether so that this desire is almost nonexistent and it is one less thing to be concerned with while going about my daily life.