Things to think about

[Studlover (imported)]

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and

think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of

nothing.

The other night I ate at a really nice family restaurant. Every table had

an argument going.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder in the car these days no

one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to?

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just

on

two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last

second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

According to a recent survey, men say that the first thing they notice

about a woman are their eyes. And women say that the first thing they

notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to

criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a

substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling.

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS

weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to

realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what

the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be

replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another

theory which states that this has already happened.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a

whole box to start a campfire?

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an

appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd have come to me sooner."

You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally, but

they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.

Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and

those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of

immigration.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

[A-1 (imported)]

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Ronald Reagan said it...and he wasn't kidding about it, either.

A-1