Gay partner and Castration Play

[Manastar (imported)]

Greetings everyone

I am in a bit of a rock and hard place regarding my male partner of 6 years.

About a year back I finally told him about my fantasies with castration. I explained about how I get turned on with the threat of castration and how I would like to start to include that into our sexual play. As I side note, he has no interest in anything anal - either top or bottoming - and dislikes oral sex. Basically it is just jerking-off - I believe my fantasies stem from not being allowed to use my penis in the traditional sense.

Anyways, even letting him know of my fantasies, he still wont extend past using a shoelace or rubber band and telling me that he is going to take my balls - this is getting very boring and I have trouble getting off.

I have bought things like an elastrator, shown him chastity cages on Fort Troff and even told him that he needs some new material - none of these have have gotten any thought.

Has anyone had the same experiences as me and how would someone go about getting him more comfortable to get a bit more adventurous?

[artisticlicense (imported)]

From what you posted, it sounds like your 'partner' is more of a room-mate. And, maybe he's not that interested in you.

In good relationships, its kind-of 'normal' for a guy to want to get physical with his 'object of affection'; whether 'parts' fit or not.

What is the basis of your relationship?

Your post is about “castration play” (for sexual gratification); but what you posted does not sound like you have sex [. . .

, he has no interest in anything anal - either top or bottoming - and dislikes oral sex.

].

Has his disinterest appeared recently, or has he always been this way?

Elaboration may be needed for better 'suggestions'. There are many members here who still have sex, like to 'talk' about sex, and have 'played' at castration. (Some actually went through with it [during sex].)

What are HIS fantasies?

Find out what those are, and maybe you can work some of yours into a scenario you both might enjoy.

[Manastar (imported)]

From what you posted, it sounds like your 'partner' is more of a room-mate. And, maybe he's not that interested in you.

Ouch! That one hurts a little - We have been together for 6 years and own a home together. I have toyed with the notion that I am just a 'companion' since the sex is lack-luster at best. I have spoken to him about this previously and he assures me that it is not what he wants. Maybe it is time to revisit this with him?

In good relationships, its kind-of 'normal' for a guy to want to get physical with his 'object of affection'; whether 'parts' fit or not.

What is the basis of your relationship?

Your post is about

“castration play”

(for sexual gratification); but what you posted does not sound like you have sex [. . .

, he has no interest in anything anal - ei

ther top or bottoming - and dislikes oral sex.

].

Has his disinte

rest appeared recently, or has he always been this way?

Like a 'married' couple, his interest in sex has waned over the last few years. I am 30 and he is 35, so maybe he is slowing down a little? His issues with anal and oral has been there for most of our relationship - in the beginning he would top me because h

e thought I liked it, but would not allow me to top him.

Elaboration may be needed for better 'suggestions'. There are many members here who still have sex, like to 'talk' about sex, and have 'played' at castrat

ion. (Some actually went through with it [during sex].)

I guess what I am asking is how have others gone about sharing this type of fetish with their partners and how did they go abo

ut getting them to incorporate that into their sex life?

What are HIS fantasies?

Find out what those are, and maybe you can

work some of yours into a scenario you both might enjoy.

His fantasies are about sports gear and what not, I have done everything in my power to help him in that matter - bought shoes/cups/jockstraps to even actual sports gear from American football and baseball.

I ask him to incorporate that into my type of play, but the excuse he uses is that he does not know what to do as he does not have any ideas. This urks me a little as I have shown him pics/stories/gear just to that purpose.

Does it seems like he is just not interested?

[C&TL2745 (imported)]

Two things helped me get comfortable with acting out my hubby's fantasies: he gave me a set of "recipe cards" with details of things he would like me to do to him, and he put it in writing (even notarized) that he would take full responsibility if he suffered injury from our "playtime," up to and including complete destruction of his genitals. I could select a recipe card at random or simply use them for inspiration. Perhaps your partner is afraid of actually injuring you, or perhaps he needs to see in writing what you want him to do--or at least some suggestions. You might ask him whether these ideas would help. If not, I imagine that this sort of play is simply not something that he enjoys, and your insisting on his participation is apt to erode your friendship.

Sandi

[artisticlicense (imported)]

Like a 'married' couple, his interest in sex has waned over the last few years. I am 30 and he is 35, so maybe he is slowing down a little? His issues with anal and oral has been there for most of our relationship - in the beginning he would top me because h

e thought I liked it, but would not allow me to top him.

Does it seems like he is just not interested?

You've only BEEN together for a few years. Seems his disinterest in sex started right after you met. Maybe he's using you, or putting up with you; for a place to live. Is his name on the deed?

Do you cuddle & kiss? Does he introduce you to others in loving ways? Is he always glad to see you at the end of the day.

Do you have 'partner' roles in the house, or do you take turns doing common chores?

Since you said he has always had little interest, does he have baggage that may give you a clue about his past experiences? Some guys don't like sex for particular reasons (like childhood traumas, body issues, or a prison experience - [examples only]).

If you have talked to him about his lack of sexual interest, was it a physical inability, or an emotional one? Both can be helped if he is willing.

Maybe he needs hormones or counseling.

C&TL2745 makes a good suggestion. If he is a truly loving partner, and wants to please you, maybe you can 'give him a job' and write it down like she suggests.

Has he read any of the stories on the archive? Have you? Maybe copy off your favorite(s), so he can read, or you can develop into a scene he can comprehend. BUT, I would try to determine the cause of his disinterest first.

Still, if you 'need' more than he does, maybe he'll allow you to hire it out . [There are lots of 3-way partnerships out there . . . ]

And, people do grow apart. Maybe it's time to move on. :-\

[yosam7532 (imported)]

Sounds like you have a 1 way relationship, all you and no him. Sounds like a good reason to move on. 6 Yrs is not that long, especially since it seems like he does not want a loving relationship at all even from the beginning. Personally I would be gone in a heartbeat if I were treated the way that you have been.

[Manastar (imported)]

Not exactly the way I thought the thread would go, but hey, I guess a different view on my relationship is always good. One can't see inside if they are not on the outside!

I could select a recipe card at random or simply use them for inspiration. Perhaps your partner is afraid of actually injuring you, or perhaps he needs to see in writing what you want him to do--or at least some suggestions.

This is a very good idea - maybe if he has thought out, written ideas from myself that it might be easier on him to start play.

I do value everyone comments and I thank both artisticlicense and yosam for being so forthright with how they see my relationship.

[ukdesexed (imported)]

I am a bit like your boyfriend before taking androcur i never liked the acts of sex , and when i was with a partner i was quite happy to just masturbate, it didnt mean i didn't love my partner or want to be with him, people are different and we dont all find sex the acts that exciting, if he makes you happy in other ways you should try to respect that, things may turn him off just as they turn you on, and there is nothing worse than being pressured into something just to try to please someone, there is much more to a relationship than just sex.

[Hash (imported)]

From what you've said, I think your partner is more "bi" sexual or leans more towards heterosexual in many ways, here's why:

1. Does not like anal.

2. Dislikes oral.

3. Won't allow you to top him.

4. Protecting your testicles.

All of these indicate to me that he's torn between being completely gay or heterosexual. It sounds like he wants his cake and he wants it his way. Psychologically, emotionally he can't move past jerking off with you because that's as far as his sexuality with another male will allow him to go. This is not uncommon, a lot of men have gay fantasies but they only go so far and then there are others who establish relationships with gay men, but they can only go so far sexually speaking. Does this make sense to anyone? As for your castration fantasies, he can't hurt or abuse your testicles because to do so in his mind is being anti-male. He doesn't want to engage in castration play because it affects him mentally and emotionally. He thinks it deviant or weird or strange for you to have this desire. I doubt it's really his age, I think he has "hang-ups" sexually. That's my Hash-fruedian assessment.

[michele4848 (imported)]

I am single now, and I am happy that way for now, but if I were looking for a partner, whether male, female or trans, we would have to be on the same page on many areas. learned that on 2nd and 3rd wives. but it sounds like hes just not into you as a lover, and that just doesn't make a complete relationship to me.