Introduction on a "sick" man

[nicnic1988 (imported)]

Hello,

I am german (24yo) and I registered here because I want to inform myself about the effects of various forms of castration.

My background:

I have extreme pedophilic and sadistic tendencies. Sex with women and men after puberty seems impossible for me. They just doesnt interest me sexually. My thoughts are extremely difficult to deal with. I know its not my fault I have these thoughts and I have a good self contol of my actions so I dont think I will ever become a real threat for children. But I dont want these thoughts anymore...

I contacted a therapist here in my city for these kind of problems. But I know they only want to teach you to control your impulses so you dont do anything criminal. You cant threat a sexual preference like that... sadly...

So the only two logical options for me are chemical and surgical castration. Both are perfectly legal here for certain cases and I wouldnt even have to pay something for that. The big question is if they would do a surgical castration.

Anyway... I want to study the consequences of both methods... pro and cons... I think you all are specialists for that and I hope this will help me to make a decision...

[Jorge2008 (imported)]

You should try Androcur (Cyproterone) first. It is available in Germany and at least in the 1970s when it came to the market, it was readily prescribed for pedophiles. The drug is highly potent and in most cases drastically reduces the sex drive, whatever one's sexual orientation is. If that doesn't work, physical castration can be sought per Gesetz über die freiwillige Kastration und andere Behandlungsmethoden (http://www.buzer.de/gesetz/6323/index.htm) (Kastrationsgesetz - KastrG), but it is rarely used and you'd have to go through many instances before the castration is approved.

[tugon (imported)]

Welcome to the EA. I respect you for being honest and seeking a solution for your problems. My initial thought is for chemical castration to begin along with therapy. I realize therapy has not always been effective but with your willingness to change along with the reduction of sex drive the combination may help. If after months you like the reduced drive and still feel you are at risk then seek out castration.

I also worry that you may have a history of being abused and that needs to be addressed. I know what problems being abused can cause. While you are working on your desires work on any problems so as you age you will not be dealing time and again with the past.

I was castrated because my sex drive was out of control. I was in debt from phone chatrooms and those fees. I bought a lot of porn. Paid for sex and met someone who abused me and took my money. My life was a mess. I needed riskier sex to feed my addictions. I put 100,000 miles on a car in two years out looking for a thrill. I needed to stop those actions. The reason I am sharing all of this is because castration did greatly reduce my sex drive.

One thing I have learned post castration is that it took care of my sex drive but it did not fix my brain. When I do fantasize and masturbate my thoughts are still the same. As a child I was used by an adult male for blowjobs. I grew up thinking that is what sex was to be for me. I grew up thinking my purpose was to orally please men. My fantasies are still based on this early sense of self. So while I do not have enough drive to fulfill my fantasies my fantasies did not change with castration. I wish I could afford good therapy.

[nicnic1988 (imported)]

I also worry that you may have a history of being abused and that needs to be addressed. I know what problems being abused can cause. While you are working on your desires work on any problems so as you age you will not be dealing time and again with the past.

I have absolutely no history of being abused. Despite a light autistic disorder I had a relatively happy childhood. Other than the depressions because of the thoughts about childs I consider myself psychological stable.

I am very sure that a therapy alone will not change anything. Therer is no way to cure a sexual orientation. Someone who say it is possible thinks that homosexuality is treatable.

So my goal is to reduce the sex drive. Better to have no sexuality than a sexuality I cant have.

[tugon (imported)]

I have absolutely no history of being abused. Despite a light autistic disorder I had a relatively happy childhood. Other than the depressions because of the thoughts about childs I consider myself psychological stable.

I am very sure that a therapy alone will not change anything. Therer is no way to cure a sexual orientation. Someone who say it is possible thinks that homosexuality is treatable.

So my goal is to reduce the sex drive. Better to have no sexuality than a sexuality I cant have.

I am glad you were not a victim of abuse. I wish you luck on achieving your goal before any child is victimized.

[considering (imported)]

I was castrated in a hospital under sterile conditions by a Urological Surgeon. I did not have the problems you described but, as I grew older, my sex drive was proving difficult to contain but only to the point that it interrupted my normal life. I'm glad that you are doing research and, I believe, you will find a great deal of information here all of it given with honesty and in the hope of helping you. I admire your willingness to admit to and realize what a serious problem you potentially have. Is castration of one form or the other appropriate? Impossible to say. However, in advance of my surgery, i spent over a year in counseling to assure myself and my surgeon that this was the proper thing to do. I might suggest you seek similar advice and do not rush into something irreversible. Eile Mit Weile.

[Paolo]

First of all, I have to commend you on being brave enough to come and post to the forums about this.

I think that you will find a great amount of information here.

Please heed the advice of the previous posters, and give chemical castration some thought before you do anything permanent.

[nicnic1988 (imported)]

First of all, I have to commend you on being brave enough to come and post to the forums about this.

I think that you will find a great amount of information here.

Please heed the advice of the previous posters, and give chemical castration some thought before you do anything permanent.

I think when I want to do it legally I wont have much choice... Besides.. I am 24 and surgical casration is possible in 10 month from now. So enough time to try the chemical "solution".

[JesusA (imported)]

Hello Nic,

Since I have no direct experience in working with someone who suffers from pedophilia, I sent a copy of your first post and of the first two responses (from Jorge2008 and Tugon) to three of the acknowledged experts in the field, asking for any advice that they might have.

I have received back one response for an expert in England. I think that his advice is good, and I hope that you will consider it carefully. In the holiday season it may take a few days to receive any other responses.

In view of the importance and, I would suggest, urgency, of this young man's request for advice, I have decided to respond immediately. Unfortunately, the value of my input in this case will not amount to much because I have no experience or knowledge of cases featuring sadistic fantasies and desires.

My immediate response – and, as I say, I feel it should be immediate though I might add more later if anything significant occurs to me – is that the advice he has already received, as set out in your email attachment, seems sensible and proportionate even though it is drastic, particularly as regards surgical castration. I regard the advice as proportionate because the drastic advice is a good match for the danger of extreme harm that could result from yielding to the temptation of the desires disclosed.

I take into account that this is evidently a person who feels in control of his feelings but does not want them and is well motivated to get rid of them.

All I would add at this stage is that in reporting his "background" he actually reports only his "foreground" i.e. he describes his sexual problem but not his family background or his current social, career and leisure situation. If he is doing well in these other areas – and there is nothing to indicate any problems – that would of course be a hopeful sign. However, advice should perhaps include asking about these matters, with a view to addressing, if possible any deficits in social integration, sense of purpose in life, etc.

As for therapy, it is not all Cognitive Behavioral Therapy targeted solely at risk reduction. I am told that more humane and holistic forms of therapy are available, but I have no direct experience in this area. The best therapy might come through engagement with a social circle such as Richard's. [Here he’s referring to the U.S. group www.B4UACT.org (http://www.B4UACT.org), which may be able to provide some of the support and advice that you need.]

I hope that you will check the B4UACT web site and read through some of the advice that is posted there. Richard Kramer, who manages the site, is kind and caring and would, I am sure, be willing to answer any questions that you have and to work with you in searching for appropriate help in Germany. He has far better contacts than I have.

Please, also, keep us informed on this site. There are many caring people here who will want to help whenever they can.

[JesusA (imported)]

A second expert, a Canadian, has now responded to my request for advice. He is away from home for the holidays, but he suggested the Dunkelfeld Project in Germany as possibly the best resource anywhere in the world for you to contact. They have locations in six cities in Germany, including Berlin, Kiel, Hamburg, and Regensberg. Their German language web site is at

http://www.kein-taeter-werden.de/

There is a link to an English language site from that page for anyone else who is interested.