What is the biggest thing stopping you?

[nutme248 (imported)]

Numbers 3 and 5.

Would like my balls gone for a smooth look down below however fear low T symptoms like depression , fatigue, weight gain.

Dave in Ohio (now)

[Riverwind (imported)]

After a few years it really doesn't make any difference, just last week I saw a Physical Therapist for the first time at the VA, we were talking about my weight, and I said I gained 30 lbs after quitting smoking and 100 after castration. Then I added phantom pains also happen when castrated. She took it right in stride.

River

[Peter47-NL (imported)]

These are going to be some big questions, which I'm really hoping for serious answers about.

And I realized that most of the reservations I had weren't so much based on what I myself wanted, they were based on being afraid of what others would think.

THE QUESTION (for the uncut):

So here's a serious question for everyone who truly believes that they want to either be castrated, penectomized, or have the opposite gender's genitals like me. I'm just asking out of curiosity: What is the number one concern that is holding you back from actually doing it?

1. Not sure if you really want it or not?

2. Financial? (can't afford it / don't want to spend that much money)

3. Afraid that you won't like it afterward, and will be stuck unhappy with it forever?

4. Afraid of surgical complications?

5. Afraid of after-effects? (things like tiredness, osteoperosis, and possibly having to take hormones afterward.)

6. Reproduction? (still want kids)

7. Sexual concerns? (still want sex, afraid change would destroy that)

8. Family concerns? (Afraid of what your family would think, and couldn't imagine explaining it to them.)

9. Social concerns? (Afraid of what others would think, don't want to be judged.)

10. Other reason not mentioned here.

11. None of the above. I'm doing it. All I need is a place to do it and the money to pay for it.

Very good questions Cheetaking!

For me it is about a castration, which is a less drastic operation, also for the way I would look after the operation.

My points are # 1 and # 2. For me is # 1 related to # 5. I'm not so afraid about what others will think. I would hardly tell anybody and I'm not afraid of going to a nudist camping, and so forth. Probably people would not notice it and when they notice it there is a lot of respect for all the variations in how people's naked bodies look and there are many good reasons to be castrated, among others medical reasons.

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

So I'm the only person here who isn't doing it because I'm worried about what my family and friends would think? (My mom really wants grandkids, and I love playing nude volleyball with my dad, and as such I would be too embarrassed to explain it to them, even though I really feel like I want it. And my girlfriend really wants sex even though I don't, so I'd feel bad getting rid of it because of that too.)

God, maybe Elizabeth's right, maybe I really haven't learned to live for myself yet. But then again, it's not a surprise. I've always been a coward when it comes to standing up for myself. I'd still just rather back down and give up rather than even attempting an argument, I feel TERRIBLE when I do anything that hurts or offends anyone, and I've noticed that while others immediately feel a sense of vengeance when someone does something wrong to them, I tend to feel sorry for the person that did the crime, thinking of how terrible the circumstances must have been that drove them to do that thing in the first place, or having sympathy on them for making a mistake. Someone broke my car window and I didn't even feel right pressing charges, someone killed a friend of mine's boyfriend through drunk driving by crashing into a crowd during a music festival, and while my friends on Facebook were all posting things like "whatever he gets is too good for him," and "15 years? After killing two people? Come on, that's not enough," I STILL felt sorry for the driver, and felt bad that he was getting any prison time.

You know, I'm realizing more and more that I really am like the characters in my stories. My entire life, I have suppressed my transsexual desires because I didn't want to offend anybody. Because of that, I stopped wearing the clothes that I wanted, I stopped shaving my legs even though I loved doing it, I started looking to God for help to get over my "problem" at many points in my life (which is why it took me so long to join this site,) and I have never even mentioned it to a single one of my friends or family members because I'm afraid of what they'd think, and afraid that I'd be shunned and teased about it.

[foxytaur (imported)]

So I'm the only person here who isn't doing it because I'm worried about what my family and friends would think? (My mom really wants grandkids, and I love playing nude volleyball with my dad, and as such I would be too embarrassed to explain it to them, even though I really feel like I want it. And my girlfriend really wants sex even though I don't, so I'd feel bad getting rid of it because of that too.)

God, maybe Elizabeth's right, maybe I really haven't learned to live for myself yet. But then again, it's not a surprise. I've always been a coward when it comes to standing up for myself. I'd still just rather back down and give up rather than even attempting an argument, I feel TERRIBLE when I do anything that hurts or offends anyone, and I've noticed that while others immediately feel a sense of vengeance when someone does something wrong to them, I tend to feel sorry for the person that did the crime, thinking of how terrible the circumstances must have been that drove them to do that thing in the first place, or having sympathy on them for making a mistake. Someone broke my car window and I didn't even feel right pressing charges, someone killed a friend of mine's boyfriend through drunk driving by crashing into a crowd during a music festival, and while my friends on Facebook were all posting things like "whatever he gets is too good for him," and "15 years? After killing two people? Come on, that's not enough," I STILL felt sorry for the driver, and felt bad that he was getting any prison time.

You know, I'm realizing more and more that I really am like the characters in my stories. My entire life, I have suppressed my transsexual desires because I didn't want to offend anybody. Because of that, I stopped wearing the clothes that I wanted, I stopped shaving my legs even though I loved doing it, I started looking to God for help to get over my "problem" at many points in my life (which is why it took me so long to join this site,) and I have never even mentioned it to a single one of my friends or family members because I'm afraid of what they'd think, and afraid that I'd be shunned and teased about it.

I got nothing to hide when I grad, no longer will my mother have control over me. If she and her side of the family insults me by calling me names such as loser, transvestite freak, chic with dick or hows living with AIDS hooker; I'll just simply say what have you accomplished in life?

Oh that's right every one on your side of the family has impregnated someone early and look where thats gotten you. Poor and without ambition.

I'm not your sister mom(who btw died of hiv by means of intravenous drugs)

Grow a vag!!! LMAO

NB = The only thing I'm worried is she'll attempt suicide. She doesnt appreiate life. I swear this is true.

[Elizabeth (imported)]

^As always, a very excellent rational post. Great to have some perspective thrown in to this.

I do have a question, though, in regards to this reply:

Seriously? Because every single study that I have ever looked at said that this figure is at least 60%, with many claiming as high as 85% to 95% from certain surgeons with the most advanced techniques. Plus a lot of the post-op accounts that I have read actually reported BETTER orgasms than before the change. I hope I'm not being a pill here, but I find it hard to believe that surgical techniques which preserve a portion of the glans, as well as the nerves attached to it, are unable to produce orgasms when I've heard numerous accounts of completely castrated and penectomized men still being able to reach orgasm.

What I am telling you is that there is huge pressure inside the transsexual community to transition and have surgery. Because of this, people tend not to talk about the bad aspects of transitioning. Like how many people end up with vagina's that don't look real and don't function. Orgasm is a complex thing in both males and females. It's more than just the glans and blood supply to them. It's about how they function together. It's a contraction in the prostate, and the feeling of ejaculate going down the urethra, it's pressure on the base of the penis, and stimulating the glans. And lastly, it requires a chemical signal from your brain.

Most transsexuals don't hang around chatrooms and forums after transition. They no longer consider themselves to be transsexuals. And the ones with bad results aren't saying so publicly and usually not privately either, because of embarrassment and the feelings of having dreams crushed by reality. Because of this, the few who do speak out, are the few with good results, giving the impression that everyone has great results. In private however, many of my friends who have transitioned told me the truth about it. But even published numbers say only 2 in 10 can reach orgasm after transition. All the counseling I have received has been to expect loss of sexual function and it's a bonus if it does not happen.

Not saying some people don't achieve orgasm after transition, but for me it's only anecdotal. I have yet to meet a person who has transitioned who can achieve orgasm.

Elizabeth

[Elizabeth (imported)]

So I'm the only person here who isn't doing it because I'm worried about what my family and friends would think? (My mom really wants grandkids, and I love playing nude volleyball with my dad, and as such I would be too embarrassed to explain it to them, even though I really feel like I want it. And my girlfriend really wants sex even though I don't, so I'd feel bad getting rid of it because of that too.)

God, maybe Elizabeth's right, maybe I really haven't learned to live for myself yet. But then again, it's not a surprise. I've always been a coward when it comes to standing up for myself. I'd still just rather back down and give up rather than even attempting an argument, I feel TERRIBLE when I do anything that hurts or offends anyone, and I've noticed that while others immediately feel a sense of vengeance when someone does something wrong to them, I tend to feel sorry for the person that did the crime, thinking of how terrible the circumstances must have been that drove them to do that thing in the first place, or having sympathy on them for making a mistake. Someone broke my car window and I didn't even feel right pressing charges, someone killed a friend of mine's boyfriend through drunk driving by crashing into a crowd during a music festival, and while my friends on Facebook were all posting things like "whatever he gets is too good for him," and "15 years? After killing two people? Come on, that's not enough," I STILL felt sorry for the driver, and felt bad that he was getting any prison time.

You know, I'm realizing more and more that I really am like the characters in my stories. My entire life, I have suppressed my transsexual desires because I didn't want to offend anybody. Because of that, I stopped wearing the clothes that I wanted, I stopped shaving my legs even though I loved doing it, I started looking to God for help to get over my "problem" at many points in my life (which is why it took me so long to join this site,) and I have never even mentioned it to a single one of my friends or family members because I'm afraid of what they'd think, and afraid that I'd be shunned and teased about it.

I have seen families torn apart by this. Parents disown their children. People shunned or kicked out of church. Divorces where the transsexual parent is banned from seeing their own children. Friends who turn their backs and brothers and sisters who don't want transsexuals around their kids. You have to be willing to give up everything. If you are not, then you are not really serious. I am not saying the worst will happen to you. You might have great success with family and friends accepting you. But you have to be ready for the opposite. And there is incredible irony. People I thought would be cool with it, turned me away, while people who I thought would never accept this, were cool with it. You have to be cool with yourself because this is hard. You need a support system, so if the people around you aren't them, you need to move on and find people who will be cool with it and give you support.

The best day of my life was when I finally decided I was not going to care what anyone thought any longer. I was going to live for me, for the first time in my life. That is the real liberation. The clothes, makeup, jewelry and surgery are all just fluff to make it all much nicer, but in the end, it don't matter if i am alone, naked on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere, I am happy with who I am.

Elizabeth

[smoothie36 (imported)]

When you really want to be castrated you will know it and find out where to get it done properly and save up the needed funds and then do it. It is not really all that complicated.

smoothie

[erikboy (imported)]

Good words Elizabeth!

These things you just described have prevented me getting castrated so far. That is the reason why older men get castrated, as they do not have much too loose first place. They might be alone already. And they've had much time to experienc various situations in their life to be sure there is not much bad that could happen to them. Most are independent in most ways including financially.

[foxytaur (imported)]

Hi Elizabeth, I agree on the whole post orgasm scenario for Transexuals. A high degree of probability is involved whether you'll remain post orgasmic or not.

I never had desire for a vag, my friend Simi who transitioned and had srs about 4 months ago(fairly recent) took her chances anyways and while i congragulate her I wouldn't be able to bear not having an orgasm.

I do worry for her cuz she doesn't pass exterior wise as female(think Mrs Garrison from south park)

Much of it has to do with her carefree diet when at the time she was skinny could have mantained

I don't blame her she must have self indulged as a result of being excessively unhappy. There were times I couldn't even contact her cuz she was super distressed.

The important thing is she has tons of friends willing to help her. but in the eye of a stranger. I just don't know what awaits women who don't pass. Its why I worry too cuz I know I can't take hrt till Im 26. I'm staying active and healthy and trying my best to remain positive despite the negative energy around me.

My future career unfortunately is heavily male oriented(my class for example just first yr was 30:2 ration of male and female peers) and last term I got bullied by a transphobic/ homophobic snob.

Not passing would be horrible in a male dominant workplace where im bullied 24/7.

Especially in a workplace where I'd enjoy what I do given my skills.

I know things have changed and maybe im being too much of a pessimist however I've read what happened to Lynn Conway for example in the semiconductor engineering world and I find myself very perplexed and sometimes doubtful of myself.

She lost everything!!!!!!......But I admire her cuz she managed to start from zero ground and build a new reputation and life surpassing her old one as a male.