What is the biggest thing stopping you?

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

These are going to be some big questions, which I'm really hoping for serious answers about.

BACKSTORY:

Over the past few weeks, some posts about cheap surgery available in Thailand really got me thinking. I'll be honest, although I have known since I was a teenager that my guy parts felt "wrong" to me, and that I really feel like I'd be much more comfortable without them, I haven't been serious about it in years. But following that topic, I really started thinking, realizing just how easy it would be to fly over there and actually follow through with my dream of replacing my guy parts with a "mangina" if I really wanted to. I started really thinking about it again, really looking at internet posts about it, really doing my research. There is so much information out there now that wasn't there in 2001-2002, the last time that I was really serious about this, that it was amazing. Suddenly I started having extremely vivid dreams on the topic, dreams where I felt "right" for the first time, and the more I researched about it, the more I realized that I really did want it, and I really would be more comfortable with it. And I realized that most of the reservations I had weren't so much based on what I myself wanted, they were based on being afraid of what others would think.

THE QUESTION (for the uncut):

So here's a serious question for everyone who truly believes that they want to either be castrated, penectomized, or have the opposite gender's genitals like me. I'm just asking out of curiosity: What is the number one concern that is holding you back from actually doing it?

1. Not sure if you really want it or not?

2. Financial? (can't afford it / don't want to spend that much money)

3. Afraid that you won't like it afterward, and will be stuck unhappy with it forever?

4. Afraid of surgical complications?

5. Afraid of after-effects? (things like tiredness, osteoperosis, and possibly having to take hormones afterward.)

6. Reproduction? (still want kids)

7. Sexual concerns? (still want sex, afraid change would destroy that)

8. Family concerns? (Afraid of what your family would think, and couldn't imagine explaining it to them.)

9. Social concerns? (Afraid of what others would think, don't want to be judged.)

10. Other reason not mentioned here.

11. None of the above. I'm doing it. All I need is a place to do it and the money to pay for it.

ALTERNATE QUESTION (for the cut):

Q p1.) Before you had it done, what was your #1 concern?

Q p2.) Did that concern prove to be true or not once it was over?

Q p3.) (if you really feel like being a friend and answering:)) How in the world were you able to tell the people you love about it? (THIS is the issue that is tearing me up inside, making me feel so confused.)

Again, I'm just hoping to see what other people's thoughts on the matter are, and hopefully gain some insight into my own situation through the wisdom of others.

[Eunuchus (imported)]

My answer is #2 and #10 I have injected alcohol to the point where my T levels are manageable. I don't know if it will stay that way though.

[foxytaur (imported)]

Number 2 and 8. Family wise i care bout my fathers reaction.

My dad knows I'm Bi(pansexual) but he'd be devastated id want to be trans

I could give a rats ass about my mom. If she were to run in front of a bus, and I know she's capable of doing it and in the process killing herself, I think I'd smile to that.(im not bullshitting btw, as harsh as it may seem it's true)

NB = My dad has already hinted that my mom is emasculating him

Cuckolding is soo common these days with couples ain't it? P

[SplitDik (imported)]

3 and 5 for me. I think those are close to the same thing actually. By theway, I think it is possible to make am actual poll on the forum where it will count up the responses.

[baldwin92 (imported)]

Number two for me and in my case difficulty in traveling. If a doctor in my home town was available it would change things.

[Losethem (imported)]

ALTERNATE QUESTION (for the cut):

Q p1.) Before you had it done, what was your #1 concern?

Q p2.) Did that concern prove to be true or not once it was over?

Q p3.) (if you really feel like being a friend and answering:)) How in the world were you able to tell the people you love about it? (THIS is the issue that is tearing me up inside, making me feel so confused.)

P1 - Wasn't really worried about it other than it being done safely.

P2 - Did not apply to my situation

P3 - I never told them. It's not like any of them will see me naked and my balls were so big that it left enough "material" down there that people say I don't look castrated.

--LT

[Slammr (imported)]

Definitely #5 for me.

If not for that, I would no longer have balls. When I was younger less libido would have probably been beneficial. I definitely thought with the little head at times, when I should have been using the other one, but age has taken care of that. My most potent sex organ, now, is my brain.

I'm using Dutasteride to combat DHT, and with that, and I'm pretty comfortable with my current testosterone levels, even though I don't know what those levels are. I seldom get physically horny without mental stimulation, but I can easily get physically aroused pretty well any time I want.

[Elizabeth (imported)]

These are going to be some big questions, which I'm really hoping for serious answers about.

BACKSTORY:

Over the past few weeks, some posts about cheap surgery available in Thailand really got me thinking. I'll be honest, although I have known since I was a teenager that my guy parts felt "wrong" to me, and that I really feel like I'd be much more comfortable without them, I haven't been serious about it in years. But following that topic, I really started thinking, realizing just how easy it would be to fly over there and actually follow through with my dream of replacing my guy parts with a "mangina" if I really wanted to. I started really thinking about it again, really looking at internet posts about it, really doing my research. There is so much information out there now that wasn't there in 2001-2002, the last time that I was really serious about this, that it was amazing. Suddenly I started having extremely vivid dreams on the topic, dreams where I felt "right" for the first time, and the more I researched about it, the more I realized that I really did want it, and I really would be more comfortable with it. And I realized that most of the reservations I had weren't so much based on what I myself wanted, they were based on being afraid of what others would think.

THE QUESTION (for the uncut):

So here's a serious question for everyone who truly believes that they want to either be castrated, penectomized, or have the opposite gender's genitals like me. I'm just asking out of curiosity: What is the number one concern that is holding you back from actually doing it?

1. Not sure if you really want it or not?

If one is not absolutely sure about this, I mean inside and out, don't do it!

2. Financial? (can't afford it / don't want to spend that much money)

While many people advocate that "where there is a will there is a way", this simply is not the case. There are those who truly can not put together the money to do this.

3. Afraid that you won't like it afterward, and will be stuck unhappy with it forever?

Again, this would be the same as the first one. If one is not absolutely sure that this is who they are, then one should not proceed.

4. Afraid of surgical complications?

This is a legitimate fear and happens more often than people would like to believe. There are many transsexuals out there with permanent pain and disfiguring scars. Sometimes it just happens, other times it's incompetence.

5. Afraid of after-effects? (things like tiredness, osteoperosis, and possibly having to take hormones afterward.)

Also a real fear and something that should be considered. Not all these stories have happy endings. There is no way to predict how any individual will respond.

6. Reproduction? (still want kids)

This is similar to the first question and comes under the heading of making sure this is not just some passing fancy or a sexual urge. During hurricanes in Florida, several sperm banks lost power and irreplaceable banked sperm. If one has their testicles removed, one should plan on never fathering any more children.

7. Sexual concerns? (still want sex, afraid change would destroy that)

Many pre-op transsexuals kid themselves about this one, thinking they are going to still be able to reach orgasm after surgery. However, I have yet to meet one in person that can reach orgasm. I know they say that 20% can, but I have not seen it yet.

8. Family concerns? (Afraid of what your family would think, and couldn't imagine explaining it to them.)

If you fear what family thinks, you for sure are not ready to go through with this. One has to learn to live for themselves first.

9. Social concerns? (Afraid of what others would think, don't want to be judged.)

And if you care what strangers think, you are worse off than number eight above. You have to be ok with yourself before one can proceed with this. That means only caring what you think, not what others think.

10. Other reason not mentioned here.

I could fill this space with ten pages, but really it all comes down to question number one.

11. None of the above. I'm doing it. All I need is a place to do it and the money to pay for it.

It may not be that easy. Some have medical reasons that prevent them from such surgery, and for others money will be a real barrier. But if you are ready to tell everyone to fuck off and live for yourself? You are probably ready.

ALTERNATE QUESTION (for the cut):

Q p1.) Before you had it done, what was your #1 concern?

Q p2.) Did that concern prove to be true or not once it was over?

Q p3.) (if you really feel like being a friend and answering:)) How in the world were you able to tell the people you love about it? (THIS is the issue that is tearing me up inside, making me feel so confused.)

Again, I'm just hoping to see what other people's thoughts on the matter are, and hopefully gain some insight into my own situation through the wisdom of others.

I kinda filled in the blanks, but my overall point is that one really does need to make sure this is who they are, not just something they want or fantasize about.

Elizabeth

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

^As always, a very excellent rational post. Great to have some perspective thrown in to this.

I do have a question, though, in regards to this reply:

I have yet to meet one in person that can reach orgasm. I know they say that 20% can, but I have not seen it yet.

Seriously? Because every single study that I have ever looked at said that this figure is at least 60%, with many claiming as high as 85% to 95% from certain surgeons with the most advanced techniques. Plus a lot of the post-op accounts that I have read actually reported BETTER orgasms than before the change. I hope I'm not being a pill here, but I find it hard to believe that surgical techniques which preserve a portion of the glans, as well as the nerves attached to it, are unable to produce orgasms when I've heard numerous accounts of completely castrated and penectomized men still being able to reach orgasm.

[foxytaur (imported)]

If I were truly suffering from harry benjamin symptoms and disliked what nature gave me , then surgery is on the list but it's not. As a person with a mixed gender identity I don't see surgery as an option at all.

Bringing your inner true self is about being yourself. I agree it can take yrs for a person to socially and mentally reach a true conclusion about who they want to be. To those who can reach a conclusion quicker than others. Congrats, you made it to the finish line!!!. I am happy for you.

I still got some quirks to settle on my own to even the score so to speak

I'm still a little meeehhh on the whole penectomy side of things but thats more like a combination of fetishm and a bit of anger towards some aspects of my male side (secondary characteristics , social aspects and expectations as a male that agitate me somwhat but never did I hate my balls for example and no I don't desire a pussy. I view my asshole as my pussy thank you very much)

The hrt is for certain what I want to pursue and I think once I let go from remaining entirely along the male spectrum side of things and find my balance I'll learn to love my dick.Don't care if it stays floppy cause I don't use it anyways asides from manual fapping lol.(being passive and all)

The facial hair, chest hair, male muscles, fear of acquiring a brow ridge, very square chin, and everything else thats secondary characteristic of a male has got to go)

My niece who's a yr younger than me is a complete tomboy and I envy seeing her walk around carefree like that. make me sad cause i want to be femmy and boyish like that too.

Friends have told me whether I was I femboi or not.

I told them I take it up a notch from being a femboy. It's definetly trans. Though not a very strong class 4 or 5 for example.

One of my furry buds came back from montreal from her GRS surgery and should almost make a full recovery soon. she's been on her bed the past 2 onths and initially was in pain (taking perkosats and heavy drugs to aleviate the discomfort)

I will be discussing with her when she gets back and also I have an appointment soon with my local lgbt friendly clinic here in winnipeg so we'll see how it goes. I sent them an email last week and need to hear from them. I think delay has something to do with it being Xmas season.

I swear if my older sister can't make it to the clinic with me I'll be dissapoint.(grumbles)

NB = Dammit why can't the human race be completely hermaphrodite?!! LMAO